ASHES

Placement

2010-11-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

There are just too many thoughts to start off this post. So rather than going on about why I have been away for over a year now, let me just start writing. We’ll get to the being away part a little later. The last year or so has gone by, and I can not thank the powers that be enough for that. Maybe I didn’t know how to do the job well, but it was overall an unpleasant experience, perhaps like a medication at best, that you need to swallow once, but you wish you never have to again.

The thought of handling people’s expectations is inspiring in the beginning. In fact this is why for a long time I thought I could go into politics. But such is the bizarre tale of human desire that I am strongly thinking otherwise. Overall, people lack sense of their own abilities, to say it in simple words, they think too much of themselves. Fortunately for such people, the laws of business state that output has no correlation with input. It’s not about what you sell, but how you sell it. Form takes precedence over content. In such a world a person who is modest about his/her abilities and sets reasonable targets and milestones to achieve is more fondly termed as lack of energy and enthusiasm. Ok maybe I took it personally, but hello this is my blog!

There certainly were good parts to it. Taking a responsible role and executing it well gives one a sense of achievement. Then there are people who strive to make a good career out of a b-school and work hard for it and its rewarding to know that you could contribute in whatever trivial way. Then there was the planning, humungous amount of planning, ironing out each and every single detail to make sure that everything goes well. Support of other stakeholders and the acknowledgement of efforts. All in all a memory to reflect upon, not one to look at and say, I’d do it again.

I guess there is no use spraying away the bad stuff here. To say that it was an uneasy experience should suffice at this point in time. The one thing that the experience clearly highlighted is how much I can take. If this job were the only thing to be done in life, it is very easy. But to handle multiple others things, relationships, hobbies and dreams in life along with this job is what makes it a nightmare.

I never really got around to making a lot of friends at IIML. I always thought I was someone who would make good friends. But my profound disregard for the hungry souls aplenty made me not even try. The day I landed at IIM L, I wanted to get it done with. With each passing day that feeling has become stronger.

I want to write so much more, so many much more. But I guess I just need to make a start at this stage. It’s been a long time since I wrote and its just good to be back live.

Dot ball

2009-07-31T11:11:00.000-07:00

I was thinking of a reason why I have been a little quiet on this forum for a while, and well the obvious reason came to mind is that there is not much cricket India is playing these days. That said, England is doing a good job of performing the last rituals of Australia's dominance in world cricket. I think the more you rise the more you fall. But Australia's fall is not so much a fall from grace, because their was very little about their team that would qualify graceful. Anyways they have played good cricket in the past and slowly they'll have to come to terms with being just another team.

I thought a little bit if that is in anyway an analogy for me to drive. But right now things are quite the opposite, well in some spheres atleast. Academics at IIM L are no big shit frankly. I can atleast speak for the batch I am a part of, wont comment on previous years. But I think if you are decently aware and can handle sleep in class, you'll be alright. Of course top scoring in class is a different league, it hardly coincides with intelligence and potential. But all the hull-boo about L being Hell is not true at least with respect to academics. But people are afraid of acknowledging that, because most people are bred on the funda that studies are a pain in the ass and exams are bed of thorns. I quite frankly enjoy the exam time, its just like a holiday with a 2 hour engagement.

Other than that every IIM gives you opportunity to explore extra curricular activities which is a good platform for everyone. Having stayed here for over a month, I can tell you that the feeling fo being involved is very satisfying. But all that is upto your choice, so everyone can manage it according to what one can take. I would say all in all its not as Hellistic as people have over the years made it sound.

For me, I am taking things as they come, which means not preparing for exams in advance :). At this juncture of the economy and my career its best to have no expectations and do things I really want to do.

Asking Rate

2009-06-29T11:02:00.000-07:00

I recalled today that for over two years now I have been trying to get into an MBA program. I applied to a few places, spent a lot of money and here I am today at Lucknow. With around 50k spent in those 2 years and 1000k in the pipeline for the next 2, I realized that I have already gone behind the eight ball in terms of ROI. There are of course two types of returns you can look at from an MBA program – professional and personal. The former is much more a function of the institute you go to, the latter is pretty much within your control. So my main contention right now is the professional returns.

I have thought of why I am doing an MBA program a million times, trying to come up with colloquial excuses. One of them talks about learning and knowledge and another says structured approach and so on. The one thing that I perhaps need to reinforce having reached an MBA program is to not give it away. This program is not meant to be a break for two years, I am paying a huge amount of money for this and I better make a conscious effort of giving it the due seriousness and importance. It is like the many things in life that when you get for free you don’t care, but when you have to pay for it, suddenly you are more responsible.

For a major part of my affiliation with cricket at IIT, I was not very good with the bat. But after a certain point I just had to come up, I was the captain of the team the most experienced and I had to set standards. There is only one thing that I told myself ball after ball every time the bowler ran in, head down and get forward. I didn’t exactly set the field on fire, but I ended up with a decent show with the bat, one I can be proud of.

The present realization is bringing out the same type of action. It is time to realize that I have a responsibility on my hands and least I can do is to accept it and act on it. I think this time I know why I am in the middle and so I can see and seize the opportunity. The action plan will still not be to score a high CG. But to do simple things such as attend classes, try doing assignments, take an interest in the course. Of course I have never had great expectations from myself. As long as I can satisfy myself with my effort I will have nothing to be disappointed about.

By the way Lucknow is a real mixed bag. All my impressions about this place, the institute and people here can be premature but this place has some of the very bright to not so bright people. I have been amazed to see the kind of apprehension very experienced of people have here. It is not to say that they will not score good marks. Scoring marks is a different psychological paradigm. But the presentation skills, intellectual content and vision of life has been very good to very bad.

Take this for example, in our induction by the seniors (whatever you call it) we were asked some basic HR questions for a resume. One of them was around an ethical dilemma. One of the studs wrote – “there is white woman and black man in my company. White woman sue the black man for sexual harassment while the black man pressed charges of racism to the white woman. And I had to decide which one of them was right.” Stuff classics are made of. The other big problem here is that there are a lot of maddus here. No offence to these guys, they are individually a nice bunch of people. But they are just so many of them. And that tag is almost synonymous with IT. Not just that it kills diversity, it kills interaction as these guys and girls find comfort in forming their own groups. Picture this for example, one of our professors asked us to make groups of six which should be rich in diversity such as different institutes, companies, regions, cultures etc. I was walking out of class when I over heard a converstation between two girls. One asked – “hey did you get a diverse group?”. So the other replied – “Yes we got a pretty diverse group, but only thing is there is nobody from north India. Other wise one is from Bangalore, one Hyderabad….”. and you can imagine that when this is a group’s profile they must all be IT.

Before I signout for today, one last piece of information. Everyone must have heard of cp, acp, dcp and the likes. Well there might be a million better examples of acp than this, but the following is the best I have come across so far.
Prof. – In quantitative analysis we will have 4 quizzes, 2 normal and 2 surprise quizzes.

Student – Ma’m will these quizzes be written or oral? (Saucy!!!)

New Ball Taken

2009-06-26T00:07:00.000-07:00

The first week at Lucknow has been hectic and tiring. The temperature here hovers around the 45 degree mark more often than not, and I have to spend most of the day in the sun and when I get back to my room I realise that my fan doesnt work very well. Its a little tough to sleep at night with all the heat. The constant dose of lectures, workshops and assignments don't help the cause and it is said that that will continue for a long time. Its perhaps the change in lifestyle which makes me a little uncomfortable. So it would be too early to say that I am not enjoying it.

The part that I am enjoying here is the local language. Although the general lingo in delhi is what I am used to, the UP language is something that I feel very comfortable with. The 'aap' 'hum' 'tum' 'lijiye' 'dijiye' is very fascinating against the 'tu' 'tera' karde' 'dede' stuff in Delhi. And Gurgaon is even worse. When I talk to a stranger, young, old or my age, I address them as aap. It is therefore a home like feeling for me when I hear those words in return.

As far as the MBA is concerned, it is again to early to call anything. I do feel though that I am not made for the college kind of enviroment. There are two reasons for that. One, I certainly can not be part of a rat race at this age, when I didnt join it when I was 18. The other thing is that the college, campus environment is a little laid back with less pressure and stakes which can make me drift away further from the main objective. In the professional world it is easier to concentrate on work, because you don't live with your colleagues so general conncect is less.

I guess this is just a cooling off period for me, before I join the professional world again. And as time goes by I will realise the importance of this break and rewards it will give me for life ahead.

Pitch Report

2009-06-17T09:39:00.000-07:00

With only a few days to go to Lucknow, I am trying to soak in all there is in this lovely place called Delhi, and there is a lot. For the best part of the last 25 years I have lived in this place and it is quite the home for me. It is a little sad to leave this place, but I know as I wander around to other places I will come back to Delhi with more love and affection for this place.

On the other side, in Lucknow, my batch is apparently the 25th batch at IIM L. Apart from being the silver jubilee batch there are some changes to the course which are really worth celebrating. I talked about a relaxed attendance rule before I think. Now we hear that the classes will only be 5 days a week, instead of 6 earlier. I am not all excited and elated, because for now it’s just plain relief of getting a break from a dead-end job.

The kind of farewell I got from colleagues and the nice time I have always had with friends in Gurgaon made my exit from this place very smooth. The three years in this place have been an experience worth living. I wouldn’t really say that if I had to live my life all over again I would still come to Gurgaon. But keeping in mind the fact that you can’t have everything in life, Gurgaon was a good place to be.

Living in the heart of UP will be another experience. The meteoric shift from the land of tu-tadak to the land of pehle-aap, will be quite a culture shock (wah waah!). But not so much because UP is like a second home for me. I was born here, so I know the place and idiosyncrasies inside out. But Lucknow could be a little different from Jhansi and Ghaziabad. I have only heard of the nawabi ways of this place, it will be interesting to actually live through them. Of course that will depend on how much my program allows me to exchange with the outside world. From what I have heard about it chances are slim. But then again its me.

So all in all looks like we’ll have decent game. If I spend a little time in the middle I am sure things will become easy.

Writing on the wall...

2009-06-03T08:21:00.000-07:00

No I am not going to talk about Dravid. This is just about how I feel right now generally, not in a bad way but a good way. It is very rare that India plays a crucial match and gets into a very strong winning position, from where the victory becomes just a formality. Although this has happened a few times lately with the new captain, but for the time I have seen cricket it is rare. I feel a similar emotion, where I am just waiting for the fat lady to sing so that I can collect the stump as a memory of the victory.

I remember transitioning from college to professional life. I was very much into blogging at that time and I wrote how I felt there was an impending declaration. My final year was just stretching too long and I just wanted to get out of it quickly. I was hoping for some sort of mutual agreement that captains have for calling of play one hour before scheduled close of play on the final day, if they saw no result coming. The feeling right now is a bit different. Positive.

This time I know pretty much what to expect in this phase and have some ideas of my own on how I plan to go about things. Which is why it’s not just about getting out of ‘jail’, but it’s also about starting a new ‘innings’. When I came to IIT I made a tacit promise to myself that I will have a good time and spend most parts of the day on the field. When I joined my job, I thought of working really hard and giving it everything to any assignment I get my hands on. Three years on, I am thinking of which way to go, and considering the kind of course I am pursuing, it’s safe to say that I will be some where in between the first two ideas. Cheers!

Strategy Break

2009-05-23T03:22:00.000-07:00

After numerous attempts to restart my blog, I am finally feeling like I am there. 26/11 was a big day in my life, actually the three days after that also. Not because innocent people died the way they did. People die in every corner in this country, heck the whole world. I was frightened by ease with which the whole thing happened and I felt insecure. And then I introspected to realise that I am the problem. I never realise that small actions of mine transpire into mindsets, which transform into habits and then take the camouflaged form of a culture which is collectively disintegrated. I had been writing about how I should rise from my laziness to make a difference, when that ugly weekend came about. I realised that I still not able to leave my comfort zone to do anything, the least I could do was to stop writing and take a break.

Now, as a celebration of my shamelessness, I am back to writing. I thought of changing the blog title, but i guess now more than ever, the name Ashes fits the bill.

A lot has happened in the last six months, generally things have been positive. The major parts have been the elections, IPL and my vocational paradigm shift (true story!). When I was in class 9 our teacher was discussing elections and how it turned out that time. i had been following the news, reading papers lately and as is the case in any discussion i stood up to talk. i said something that nobody liked. i said that people are responsible for the state of affairs in the parliament today because they have given a fractured mandate. "Ye kya baat hui, jo jisko vote dena chahe usse de, how can you blame the public?" was a popular response. But i stuck to my guns because i was convinced by that idea. Although i didnt quite understand what happened last time and how it happened, this year people have vindicated my belief.

Perhaps this election was not about Cong/BJP/Left/3/4/5... This election was of sailing through because the current situation is pretty much unprecedented in independent India. And a horses for courses approach justifies the sentiment of the Indian people who are refreshingly aware of the situation. I must confess that I did not vote for this government for many reasons, but as a second best choice I will take it. There is need to reasses important issues and focus on challenges at hand, but by no means can we dissolve the big picture in this patch work. There is a time and place for every issue and we as a country have to "wait for it".

The other thing that has been happening, is in the world of cricket - the IPL. It goes by many aliases, but I will stick with Indian Premiere League. The only good part about this year's IPL was the fact that it was in South Africa and so there was an even contest between bat and ball. Apart from that its been a drab tournament, with poor quality of cricket, reckless batting, suicidal bowling and the fielding, what can i say, well it sucked. I got so bored of watching cricket after a while that I was working in office, late. I never endorse the thought that match fixing exists in cricket, and i stand by it. but my belief has gone through some rough times this IPL. Its not about the catches. you can't drop catches on purpose and get away with it. Sometimes the body language of the players was so uninspiring that it got me off cricket. One of the reasons i can think of is the sheer volume of matches. Not cricket, just matches. Players may well have been feeling, 'never mind, we'll win the next one'. This was the second edition of the IPL and youngsters were expected to be more confident and valuable this time around. Instead they were edgy, stressed and just not performing. The oldies came to party which was nice to see. But that does not help the cause of the Indian team, which was looking at this IPL as a practice session and it has turned out to be a dent in their confidence.

And finally the vocational paradigm shift. I will be moving to Lucknow within a month from now to join an MBA program at IIM Lucknow. Its perhaps the biggest news in the last three years i have had for someone. Whenever someone asked me 'whats up?', i'd say 'nothing much, the usual'. Atleast now i can say something to interest the other person. The sad part is that i have to leave my dear car behind. I hate this part. But the good part is that I am off the job, its always nice to lower the stakes for a while. At work your are probably handling a lot of pressure because its not just about you, its about clients, their performance, companies performance, global impact etc etc. You can't afford to make mistakes, unless you are as rich as i am (smile). At a b school you are responsible for yourself, perhaps a couple more, so the stakes are less and you can chill. In fact that, i just realised, is the best reason to do an mba after some professional experience because it will give you a cool off period before you jump in again to start the second part of the innings. The mba is then your, now proverbial, stratetic time out.

Tour Diary #4

2008-11-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

So here we go, one last time. The next test match between

India

and

Australia

will be after 2.5 years. This will give them enough time to keep licking there wounds. The job is half done yet and now its time for the final blow. We as spectators of cricket, so called loyalists of the game and the blue uniform have to summon all our energy, strength and desire for one final time as our team prepares to crush

Australia

in Nagpur.

Cricketers are superstitious, and the most common prevailing superstition across all teams, is to not change your position in which you are sitting, standing, knocking the bat etc if runs are coming or wickets are falling (whichever is appropriate). You just stay put there for the rest of the match if you don’t play any further part in it. I spent an entire inter-IIT cricket meet sitting outside the shed in a hot Chennai sun, because it proved lucky a few times and I didn’t want to lose that edge. I got all tanned and lots of other stuff too. So in line with that trend I am actually happy this time that my post is delayed by a day, as has been the case on the previous three occasions.

311-5, Australia will be very pleased with the effort. Not so much there bowling effort, because none of their bowlers looked like getting a wicket. The least likely was Krejza. Only Watson got a good ball which deserved a wicket, others just sprayed it around. Indian batsman played some poor shots. Well I mean Sehwag’s bread and butter is the same shot he got out to, so can’t blame him. Dravid, has gone from hopeless to disaster. I think Dhoni will do well to bat him at 6 in the second innings if at all the need arises. Sachin played very well, and although he came out like a young boy playing an ego match with Krejza, he batted beautifully to get the hundred. Laxman and Sehwag did well also. But India should again have been much more for much less. Similar story to Mohali.

The most interesting thing of the first day’s play to me was the ball that got Dravid out. Bite and kick on the first day first session, says that we are in for a result here. Saurav is playing well and Dhoni does well, apparently for some people, when he is Captain. It’s upto the bowlers now really to win India the trophy and bring it to its suitable location. Just four more days of good cricket and we will be there and I will take off my shirt for one last time.

The last test match, we let the Aussies away. Should have won it, but for a few drop catches. No let ups now, we need to stick it out for another 4 days and win this series. Win it for Kumble, win it for Ganguly, win it for Sachin. Don’t win it for Dravid he has been a terrible disappointment. Win it for Laxman, I think he can get the record of scoring 50s in his first and 100^th test match and winning it. Ok weird correlation.

This is perhaps the last time Sachin, Dravid, and even Laxman will play Australia in a test match. Perhaps also the last time for Ponting, Hayden, Hussey maybe even Lee. It looks like the end of the road for many of the game’s greats. This for all the talk of India-Australia test cricket is really the Final Frontier.

Zor se bolo….

Top Spinner

2008-11-03T11:59:00.000-08:00

Jab tak suraj chaand rahega...

There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that he was the biggest match winner who played for India. The timing of his retirement announcement was characteristic of his demeanor, composed and educated. So was his farewell, un-superhero like, modest and honest. Anil Kumble will always be remembered in Indian cricket books for as long as they are written. I expected him to retire sometime soon, but to actually know it, was a bit of a shock. The point is that he is still good enough than the Mishras, Ojhas and Chawlas, but he has dipped from his own very high standards. And great players don’t play just because they are good enough. They play the game because they want to be the best.

Of all the retirements that are impending in this Indian team, this surprisingly is the first one, and will perhaps remain the best timed. Again, if Kumble had played against England he would have thrashed them, but he realizes that it’s not worth continuing and letting younger guys have a taste of things will be more fruitful. Afterall the second string of spinners can definitely take on England anyways.

It’s the end of the career of a legend, only that it doesn’t sound like one. Perhaps it will sound like one on the fifth day of the Nagpur Test, only that this time it would not be a true legend. There are so many stories, so many matches and so many moments related to Kumble that we have cherished over the years. Everyone knows that he is a gritty man, very aggressive on the field and very polite off it. And even after all that aggression he never said any bitter thing to his opponents. There were so many times that he was criticized by media. Now he is not the first person to get it from the media and then give it back. But the way he handled criticism was quite extraordinary. I remember once he was asked how he felt on being dropped from the team and he politely said – maybe my performance hasn’t been good enough and I will go back and take a few wickets in the first class matches and try to come back. No allegations of bias, no references to the number of years he had played for India. He just wanted to do well and get back in the team. The sheer weight of his performance kept bringing him back and I think that is why he was always so assured of himself. He never took his place for granted in the team and that is why he had more highs in an 18 year old career than any Indian cricketer.

But the best part about him, the icing on the cake of his greatness, came when he thanked everyone for their support in his final interview as the captain of India on the field. The fact that he mentioned Azhar really left a lump in my throat. There was a time when Azhar and Kumble were my most favorite cricketers (batsman and bowler). Caught Azhar at silly point bowled Kumble used to be usual service in those days. I was pleasantly reminded of that mid-90s era. Kumble is a true sportsman and a gentleman and acknowledged the contribution of everyone, even those who have been long buried.

Kumble walks off the cricket field as perhaps only second to Kapil Dev in terms of his completeness as a cricketer among Indians. He eventually did everything including a test hundred and captaincy. If Kumble had not been the captain at Sydney, then either the team would have crumbled like a cookie or 3-4 more players would have been suspended on various charges ranging from racism to physical contact and spitting on the umpire’s face. He must feel satisfied and content today as he looks back at all these years. From an MBA perspective he has a very diverse profile so to say (smile). And you know it may not be a surprise if he actually does something like that. As Rahul Dravid mentioned, he has a Masters in Engineering and a PhD in leg spin.

Anil Kumble has been an inspiration for me all these years and a source of comfort while I sat through heart wrenching matches on TV. He has given me so much to cheer about and so much pleasure, that the cricket field will look a little empty without him. Now it’s up to the rest of the guys to plan the perfect farewell party for Anil Kumble and that other chap, whats his name?

Undoubtedly, the biggest Kumble moment is the jaw-strapped performance to get one of the best batsmen in the world. But throughout his career there was so much that you saw and felt within that gives you the true idea of what Anil Kumble did for Indian cricket.

Tour Diary #3

2008-10-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

Ponting ke Chhakke, hakke bakke!

Would have again loved to have gotten this post in yesterday, but with the Diwali celebration at home, I couldn’t get time and space to write. And just on that Diwali note, what is up with the smses for diwali greetings. Come on people, either send personal messages, or don’t take that pain, it won’t really matter. But sending spam messages, is quite irritating frankly. Especially when you have to read the entire message to find out who sent it.

Back to cricket then, Ponting has a very serious problem (literally ‘gambhir’) on his hands going in to day 2. Delhi boys are special anyways..hehe. But before we get into the third test, let me flaunt the drubbing that we gave the Australians in the second. I mean, 320 runs was the victory margin that is also effectively an innings victory. Australia is such an insipid cricket team. They lack depth in batting, they are not doing well in pace bowling and they don’t have spinners. Ishant Sharma has made Ponting his bunny, Hayden doesn’t seem to like spending time on Indian pitches and rest of the batsmen, save for Hussey, don’t look threatening even if they are batting on 60-70 odd. We are steam rolling this Australian side and hell we will crush them like the ganne ke juice ki machine crushes the dhaniye ka patta. We have tested blood alright.

Dhoni’s captaincy is not a revelation anymore, it’s becoming a hallmark of his cricket. What I like about his captaincy is that he looks and plays like a cricket captain and not a leader. I think the two most successful Indian captains, by number of wins, were very distinct personalities. They did get hundreds in their first two test matches, but one would lead by example and the other would lead. Both of them were successful. But Dhoni is somewhere in between, if not in a league of his own altogether. He never seems to be ‘dictating’ terms. He can be called senior only to Gambhir, Ishant and Mishra. Rest of the 7 are much more experienced than him. Yet he handles them with respect, care and authority. And the best way to do that is to hit Brett Lee for a boundary to square leg first ball. That to me was the shot of the test match.

Mishra impressed in the match. He maybe the future of Indian spin, but he doesn’t look like someone who would take 2-3 hundred wickets. But still he has done well and all credit to him. As I said earlier, it’s a beautiful art, leg spin. Sachin and Saurav made a lot of runs, so did Gambhir and Sehwag. Everyone made runs, everyone took wickets, everyone took catches. Boy we beat Australia and how.

So going into the third test, Ponting can only hope that his team bats a lot of overs. I doubt that there would be a draw in Delhi. I can’t remember when was the last time we had a draw here. Perhaps and India Zimbabwe match, where Andy Flower had net practice, in 2003. Generally the Kotla wicket is result oriented and having seen the first day, only one result looks likely.

By the way, the frustration and anxiety with the Australians showed today, with Katich doing a moving screen on Gambhir and then following it up with a bit of lip. Gambhir will give them some tomorrow morning, when the Aussies start chasing leather again. Ponting is absolutely devoid of any plans. There are no tricks left, no catching positions left where he can trap the Indian batsmen. All he is thinking of is batting and batting through the test match. Ricky mate, this is just the beginning, get ready for a mauling in South Africa next. Hard and Fair my ass.

And finally, as much as I would love to see him continue, I think its time for Dravid to hang up as well. He is not one of those who will do well in trying to prove it to someone. He is not someone who gives it back so to say. If he believes he wants to do it, he will do anything. He showed glimpses of that in the IPL. But he is now trying too hard to prove something. I don’t know what. Perhaps he is looking for that final purple patch with which he can sign off. But his options are dying out. He has another test match at Nagpur for sure, but if he doesn’t get a 100 till then, then I am not sure if he will be picked anymore. Maybe for one last series ;). Sachin on the other hand paid his premium for another year at least. The thing is that in the test side he deserves his place, but if he comes in the one-day side at the expense of a Gambhir or Sehwag, then it will be unfortunate.

I get the feeling that this could be another Kumble special test match. He bowls well with Harbhajan, but the added responsibility of being the premier strike bowler will be good for him. It’s all happening at Kotla, and India is doing it in style. Hope to make it to the Ambedkar Stadium stand once again on Saturday and revisit glory as I did that fateful Saturday evening in February 1999. Come on Jumbo!

Past Records!

2008-10-23T13:31:00.000-07:00

It was 31 December 2007. I was walking the streets outside the airport at Bangalore with my friends. It must have been a good 2-3am. Since it was New Year now, we all decided to say our resolutions. Not that I made only one resolution, but of the many I made, I was able to fulfill one last Thursday. It is not a feeling of victory or achievement, but enormous self belief, that I am not that bad after all. What that resolution was, is academic for this post. Yet if I must, I had decided to make a well rounded application to a B-School.

Why was this, such a big deal? Mainly because my previous two attempts had been very weak, uncomprehensive and remotely tasteful. Needless to say, not much happened of these applications. But as many of you would know, writing your essays is an activity of great introspection. It is actually useful for everyone my age to just sit back for a month or two and make an account of what really has transpired. With some of the “adjustments” that I made to my applications, I realized that I was promising more than I really was. Much more in fact. And so this time, the desire was really to prove and tell conclusively that the potential really exists. And that I can make stories and make them true as well. That very frankly was the objective of this resolution. My fruit was only in this proof to myself. The judgement of an adcom can hardly come close and those who have ever applied will concur with me.

Miraculously, or call it hard work, things went well this year. I took the GMAT again and did considerably better than last time. I had more faith in my essays, and of course due to the additional experience, I had more professional stuff to write about. I was better prepared for the interview and most definitely had a better interview, which is only to suggest how bad the first one was.

But the key to getting many of these things right is not hard work. And it quite surprisingly is not miracle either. It was just a question of getting in touch with myself and realizing what I am really made of and what I am capable of. That is the lowest common factor of all achievements. Without understanding oneself, it is useless to set targets. If I know I can’t bowl a bouncer at 140k, it is pointless to have a short leg fielder, you know. If I know I can’t hit the big sixes, it is better to do it in singles.

Through the process of application I realized many things about myself. But one of these things surprised me. I realized that I give a lot of importance to the past. That I am a keeper. And as much as I never show it, my folders and old bags are filled with stuff from the previous decade. I don’t know how many of us keep our 3, 4, 5 class marksheets (of course I had reasons to keep it). But as I dug deep into my past there we so many wonderful memories that came like a gush of cool breeze to me. There was an old photo from school, of the tree plantation day. There were birthday cards given by dear friends in 2^nd and 3^rd years at IIT. And why I am so sure of the years they were given in, is because of the distinct names of women they carry on them. I couldn’t stop laughing J. Then there were two letters from cricket team mates, who as parting gifts had written some really heartening words full of praise for me. There was this birthday-card, which I bought for a friend who was slightly fat, and the card had a funny illustration on it. But I resisted giving him that card, thinking he might not take it in such good faith. So I decided to keep the card and give him next year. I bought that card in 1999, my friend’s birth date is “17 November”. Maybe this year. But knowing me now, I am not making that promise (smile)

The best part is that these things can hold so much meaning. So much more than just a piece of paper. The play ticket from my first date, the bails from the last time I played for IIT Delhi, the notepad having notes of my treacherous internship experience. They all are just things, but they connect me back to those times so vividly. Your past is important for what you are today. It may perhaps not have the same effect on your future, but you never know what does.

Funnily all this stuff was happening while I was rummaging to find some of my certificates to show in the interview. I didn’t find all of them, but I found the certificates which really matter in the end. And in a spirit of my vindication, the ISB interview committee didn’t even ask for the certificates.

P.S. – I am not posting my interview experience. It was just a few run of the mill questions and well err… my answers!

Tour Diary #2

2008-10-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

$@@&# fati to Australia bola… “Old school, old school”

I am slightly disappointed that I could not get this post in time before the start of the second test. But my opinion would not have been much different either side of today. We may not have Australia on the mat yet, but boy are they ruffled. “He has done well in the last test match, and this is unusual for him. He should concentrate on his own game”. I think that was my favourite part of the entire first test façade. (For those who didn’t remember, this is what Ponting said about Zaheer, when the latter commented on Australia’s defensive approach). And shortly after that the descendent of Raja Harishchandra aka Punter, went ahead and said “Kumble’s poor form is a worry for India”. I was a little sad that Kumble could not play, because he is at his best when he is poked at.

There is huge controversy surrounding Kumble’s fitness and form. I am not a worshipper of Tendulkar, but still I think such things time and again prop up the issue of how batsmen centric this game is. Margin for error for bowlers is very tiny. All said and done, if I see Anil Kumble on the field I am assured that there is aggression in our bowling and something can happen. Yes he is out of form and in the twilight of his career but he is still a force. I hope Amit Mishra does justice to his selection and bowls well. I have always had a thing for leg spinners, because I think this is the most artistic practice in the game of cricket. As far as Kumble’s captaincy is concerned, I believe he is fulfilling a particular job and that is of buying time for Dhoni. Its not that Dhoni may not be ready yet, but you want to have the captain experienced enough so that these Ian Chappels do not get another opportunity of mud slinging at the opposition captain. I really hope that whenever, the selectors think Dhoni is ready, they should ask Kumble to discontinue his services. I think captaincy is the highest honour that a player can get, and one should really be a captain when he has effectively learnt everything he could and can continuously give it back to the team. And therefore, your resignation from captaincy should be your retirement call as well. Although it was a different scenario for Dravid, but that’s in the past.

Of course Sachin finally reached the landmark of maximum runs. But I don’t want to make much out of it. It is a great feat, but it is a feat which should really be celebrated at the end of a career. Anyways, as an Indian it feels proud that we got that record back. We put up a good show through the day. Although we should have got much more for fewer wickets. But that’s ok. With no Stuart Clark in the side, Australia will be feeling very good about restricting India to 311 for 5. India should look to cross 400.

The Mohali pitch has always been a good cricket pitch, i.e batting pitch. (Sadly these terms are synonymous). Getting Australia out twice will be slightly difficult, especially without Kumble. Moreover, Australia has two local boys in their team and India has none. But once we have the runs on the board, it will be easier to apply pressure on Australia. Obviously they will play their “aggressive” brand of cricket. And I am sure that this is what is going to bring about their downfall. Something tells me intuitively that Ponting is going to make that one bold decision and its going to go against him in this series. He almost did that at Bengaluru, if only Sehwag would have batted for an hour or so. I think the Australian bubble of aggression, if you will, is going to explode in this series. Sunil Gavaskar made a good comment on air about the Australian aggressive strategy. Ponting dropped the third man and deep point on the boundary and had only one slip. SG’s co-commentator was about to say that it’s a strategy employed to block the flow of runs and create pressure and how Ponting has made specific plans for specific batsmen. SG said if India would have done it, it would have been defensive, but if Ponting does it, its strategy. The Australian team is full of this bull shit and this October we are going to help them get relieved of some of it.

Waiting for tomorrow as it will be a crucial day in this test match, how many India get in the first innings is going to decide the fate of this match. I am loving Dada for every run he scores in this series. And he is not letting down. Even Sachin scored a 50, you know he is big match player and only plays in the big matches. I am glad he thought of this match as big too. Gambhir is a rockstar; he is like the left handed version of Sehwag. Only more technically correct.

This is cooking up to something historic. Keep going boys, one more here!

Follow On

2008-10-08T14:06:00.000-07:00

Aaj to khatiya yahin gadegi…..

So the time has come. To seek revenge. It’s what I have waited for the last 9 months and more. One of my favourite films Don, had this song which comes to my mind – Jiska mujhe, tha intezaar, jiske liye dil, tha bekarar. Who ghadi aa gayi aa gayi…The Australians are now cornered. They are at full strength and yet they are unable to put it across and Rajasthan Cricket Assoc. XI side. This is going to be a mouth watering cricket series. Hang on boys and girls. But first the other major happening of the last 48 hours.

The other thing jiska mujhe tha intezaar – Saurav Ganguly quits international cricket. The wait is finally over. The man has got some wisdom, albeit borrowed, to decide what’s best for him and the team at the same time. Well everyone is saying that he is going so at least be polite to him now. So let me try, but I don’t promise anything. The only time I really wanted him to score runs was, one when he was batting at Taunton, as it were the nets at eden garden and he was closing on a double hundred….but he got out. The second time when he was batting against sri lanka in the world cup 2007. He dint just get out, he wasted balls and then got out.

As a captain, he was good. But he turned from good to bad, when he was disposed from captaincy. With every offence to many Bengalis, they are whimsical. They wouldn’t listen to anyone and do what they want to do. While this is not such a bad thing, they are also against any kind of growth of people around them, if they don’t get a share of it. If mamta banerji is not enough to exemplify that, Shorav does it for Bengal. He couldn’t stand the site of someone captaining India and actually excelling in it. In fact doing better than him. Still I think there are some positives that he brought to Indian cricket as a captain and as a one day batsman. Really if you look at how India will remember Ganguly you don’t get one pivotal moment. Maybe his hundred on debut at Lords. He was hardly inspirational in the field. I can’t think of a test inning that helped India win or save a game on its own. Maybe the coca cola cup in Dhaka, the final, but even there a certain Hrishikehsh Kanitkar will take the cake. His pivotal moments are actually the following:

his denial to carry drinks on his first tour in Australia in 1991-92
his naked shirt waving in the lords balcony
his ugly spat with Greg Chappel
and the sabotage of India’s world cup hopes in 2007

But I think his announcement of retirement could not be better timed. VRS or not, I think he is going to give it to the Aussies one last time. I think ganguly will now play as if there is no tomorrow and he will beat the shit out of the Lees and the Johnsons. Lucky McGain got a shoulder injury, his career is safe now. But I feel sorry for Cameroon White. I mean he is already playing for the Bangalore RCs. How bad could things be. The Indian batting will murder him, if he dares to step in. Krejza might cause some concern with ishant Sharma, but all the rest of the Indian squad, including Munaf Patel are capable of handling him.

So for Australia, it’s up to Lee, Johnson and Clark. Well don’t count too much on them, not from the evidence of the BP XI game. If Sehwag cuts lose tomorrow, it could be a long day for the Aussies. The batting looks okish. Katich and Hussey will do well, because all left-handers do well against India. Ponting will do some stuff, so will Clarke. Who is the sixth batsman? This is the check mate for Australia, with Haddin at 7 it’s a lost cause. When Kumble will zip through his flippers, the tail will come to their aukaad instantly. Ofcourse, Ishant vs Ricky will be fun to watch, so will be Bhajji vs Clarke. Lee vs Sehwag, Sachin Tendulkar vs. Ricky Ponting bowling left arm and the most fun will be to see Laxman cream the so called spinners to all corners of the ground.

Its time to give it back and hell we are going to give it back. Anil bhai the whole country is behind you. We will cheer every run the team scores and every ball that we bowl. In so many years I have seen cricket, never have I felt this confident that India will win the series against Australia. This is the perfect moment. Loha Garam hai, Maar do Hathauda!

Review

2008-10-02T12:33:00.000-07:00

So another bomb went off. A thirteen year old died. I played a game of cricket and spent three grand on dinner with friends. Nothing really changed, did it? Apart from some anxious moments for my family, because I didn’t pick up the phone as I was playing. I, huh, I didn’t even bother to call my family, afterall only 3 had died, and there was only one blast. I am becoming shameless, and so are you.

I do not understand much of biology. Not chemical engineering either, but thats not important to the following point. When we get fever, our body shivers. Its the immunity function of our body to remind us that we need to be warmer, our body temperature needs to be elevated so as to kill the germ. The germ is unable to survive at higher temperatures. We spend one night inside the rajai/blanket and wake up the next morning all sweaty and feeling better. But sometimes there is malaria or dengue or any other serious effect. Our body temperature goes above 102, 103 maybe. Our body still shivers but the temperature is too high for other body parts to function. Now we have to put ‘geeli paatiyan’ on the forehead to reduce the temperature. Along with that some other medication is required to debug the virus, and aggressive techniques such as increasing temperature may not work for our own good.

Combat is perhaps not the right way to deal with terrorism, which is to say that terrorism has risen to that stature and not to undermine its effect. If we consider ourselves as a country, then of course we can take any approach. We are country of 1.2 billion approx. and few people dying here and there will make no effect to our ‘integrity’ and we will still lead our lives in a similar fashion. In fact the blasts might just positively impact the population, as people will stay at home more and produce more babies. But even individuals have some worth. We can’t live in the fear of becoming a part of blast, a part of a news bulletin. Lot of people have already become that.

But on the other hand, it is hard to believe that all terrorist groups around the world are barbaric tribes. I don’t know the definitions of any of them, but I suppose some of them could be rightful in the sense we define it. Some of them maybe asking for things they deserve or are worthy of. The entire idea of terrorism is, I believe, built upon the old saying of – ‘hum bhi khelenge nahi to khel bigadenge’. These people are looking to get something they want, which some others have gotten easily. Perhaps they feel that terror is their easier alibi for achieving that something. Right or wrong, ethical or non-ethical, I don’t know. After all I am one man and can see only in one direction at a time.

Although I don’t consider Mahatma Gandhi a god, but I think he has done respectable service to the nation and one of his comments that I concur is about terror. Gandhiji said he who terrorises is actually afraid of himself. Its quite true, if not obvious, and that’s why I feel combating terrorists is just our way of showing that we are afraid now. And that perhaps there is no difference between me and a terrorist. Its just that today, there are more of my kind. Who knows what will happen tomorrow.

A person I met in college, whom I despise to my very breath, more than probably anyone else, once gave me an interesting theory. Of course we were all IITians, alias geeks, so our fundas also revolved around physics. He said to me that entropy (randomness) is always increasing. dS > 0 for all t > 0. Which means that with every passing second, the world, the universe and what ever you want to call it, is becoming more weird, unorganized and disordered. Therefore, negative vibes such as crime, corruption, pollution and the likes will always keep increasing. Till the time that this system comes to an end. There is no stopping it. Me being a straight jacket, optimistic 20 year-old at that time, responded to his remark saying that even if that be true, let us not help that cause by giving in to this belief. We still need to fight against it. Yes entropy will increase, but by how much it will increase is in our control. We can make it negligible. Perhaps one day we can do one better.

But today its falling apart. Physics can make emotions look so meaningless, but we are unable to separate ourselves from these. And the fear lingers on. Agla Indian idol kaun? I think the end is near.

aaj bhi hain pakde ye ummeed ki dori, don’t lose hope is the moral of the story. Jisne sekha inse life me kabhi bhi na jhukna, hot seat pe milega bhaiyya….

Umeed se Dugna!

Slow Death

2008-09-17T10:28:00.000-07:00

The events of last Saturday evening have left a permanent impression on me. I have come to know what I am really capable of, and what we as a society are capable of. As blasts set of in different parts of Delhi on Saturday the 13^th, I experienced three emotions in a very quick time.

Since the blasts happened in areas where some people very close to me stay, I got a little tensed with the news at the outset. After making some frantic calls, marred by a jammed network, I finally felt relief. I had experienced two emotions in almost 2 hours. And then I felt the third, which will probably stay with me forever.

I don’t know if the terrorists have planned it or not, but more than killing a lot of people, they are killing something much more valuable and important for their cause. They are killing the very soul of every human being. With every blast that occurs, we go further down within ourselves. What is the first thing we did after hearing of the blasts? Checked for the well being of our loved ones. And by 9pm we were partying weren’t we? Well maybe not all of us, but many of us. This is the level to which our ‘insaniyat’ has come, if I put it a little filmy way. And every successive blast will reinforce this shallowness within us. The third feeling is a feeling of shame!

The next day we are making fun of shivraj patil, because he has nothing to say or do whenever blasts occur. But I don’t think we have a moral right to point fingers at him, or anyone for that matter. Afterall we say the exact same thing every time as well. We are cowards, trying to hide behind the faults of others, lest someone should see how insensitive and immoral we are. When people die it’s just a news program for us on tv, as long as we are safe. What we don’t realise is that we are waiting for the day when someone we know will be collected in one of these blasts.

I know its perfect human nature to care about somethings and someones more than others. But if we talk about living in a society, we can not behave like that always. Still we will perhaps feel that way forever. My cowardice inhibits me from having a dress code changed at office, and I talk about resolving the terrorism issue. Either we will live and of course die like this. Or there is a mutiny that can over throw this oppression. I know some of my thoughts might resonate with what naseeruddin shah said in the recent movie. But its so pertinent. If the terrorists kill too many people in one go, there are more chances of a mutiny. So its always effective for them to strike in short bursts. And we will sit on our bottoms, hoping that we will have a lucky escape everytime. I wish everyone good luck.

What a Six!

2008-06-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

Saj rahi gali meri maa...chunari gote me....

Humour is one concept that holds a lot of importance in my life. I am fond of comedy movies more so than anything else, and not just the usual andaz apna apna, chupke chupke and golmaal stuff. I try to create humour in disasters such as deewane hue paagal, gunda etc. and actually end up enjoying them. And what transpires I think is the desire to repeat such jokes to make others laugh, often at the expense of an individual. I try to enact the funny emotions, dialogues and scenes which are more often then not at the edge of my tongue. But playing cricket all these years has been very different in this way. My attitude towards playing cricket has perhaps been a little two serious than my normal disposition. Yet maybe it was necessary. Whatever be the case I was always a serious fellow on field, never easily amused by anything. Of course the quint essential 'sound of timber' made me happy and all smiles, but the rest of it was very serious. I was not much of a batsman anyhow, but whatever little I did with the bat was the head down, rotate the strike type serious stuff, never entertaining like hitting a six.

Then again a six had a very different connotation when I was in college. A six or a chhakka was precisely meant to mean what it means. Me and five other of my friends (thats six of us) usually adressed each other as a six or a chhakka. But slowly we realised that we had bretheren through out our hostel who were as much chhakka as were we. "Oye chhakke kahan ja raha hai" was a normal onversation starter, or "kis chhakke ne mere bed pe ash giraya hai" and the likes. And life quite truly was an enjoyment. As a matter of fact we had resigned to the fact that we would never go out with a girl, and by all means that realisation was also fun, well mostly. Apart from the obvious laurel of not having a girl friend, oh sorry, not talking to a single woman on campus for most of us chhakkas, the other qualifications included failure and defeat that came by frequently. "Abe yaar is baar bhi kisi chhakke ka CAT clear nahi hua" or "abe tere se ek seedhi bowl nahi dalti kya chakka hai yaar tu" were normal concerns raised at our c-floor paralell wing. And laughing at each others' failures was also a source of enjoyment, perhaps a little insensitive at times, but it also sort of helped the 'loser' to come out of such shocks easily.

I by all means shared a strong connection with the number six. Well there are random connections here and there, such as my best bowling effort being 6 wickets, my group of chhakkas having six people etc., but these could be co-incidences. But picture this, none of which was done with any prior planning: the number of my bike is 1666, which is a second hand bike and so I had not control over the number and actually realised that I have this number long after I bought it from a friend, then i bought a new cell phone - Nokia 6600, then i took the GMAT - ya scored 660 and the essay score was 6. Eerie eh?

But then we came to the professional world. We had to be and act more responsible, at times because there were women around. Well as we had envisaged in our first year at college, it was'nt too hard to talk to females. I mean it was'nt normal, but it was'nt difficult either. Some of us actually had quite a number of conversations with women in their office which helped them come out of the chhakka tag, a tad. Well to be very honest, life is not the same now, it has changed, a lot. Not because of not being a chhakka or not being around a six, but certainly because the fun gauged out of being a six or being around sixes was not suddenly worth it. Probably maturity has set in and maybe thats why it is easier to interact with other people as well. Perhaps we have suddenly become more serious and we needed to be.

There is certainly more to life than meets the eye, because as soon as we settle into a rythym, life throws us off beat. But its nice, such a change in nice. Specially when you feel that you have lived through the entire length of any phase and enjoyed it. So, well what do you know, I go out to bat in our last corporate match, and I hit a six and 2 fours, entertaining ones, to win the match for the team, when we needed 50 from the last four overs, thank you very much. Its always nice to move on.

Copy Book!

2008-06-06T15:08:00.000-07:00


Powered by: Chakpak.com	Sarkar Raj

In cricketing terminology copy book stands for excellence and precision. Well the past two weeks at work have been nothing like it. But the weekend as they call it, was every bit ‘copybook’. So after spending close to two nights straight in office, I got to leave office early (read: 9.30) this Friday. While most Friday nights bring scary thoughts, thoughts of what to do tonight, this Friday, at least, that question had been answered well in advance.

So I went out to watch Sarkar Raj. I read two reviews of the movie before watching it. The reviews were in complete contrast with each other where one called the movie boring and the other called it a masterpiece. Well, a masterpiece it was. By Jove!

I went to watch the movie trying to control my expectations from rolling out to an extreme from where everything might seem mediocre. I made it a point not to read the good review in too much detail. I constantly kept telling myself that it could not be as good as the first one, no matter how good it is. But the fact is that I am not able to decide which one is better, because I am too dazed by this one to remember what I saw in Sarkar. The movie starts and ends with the class that the first part had set. All the actors in the movie are almost dissolved in the brilliant story and screenplay that totally grips you by the collar and keeps you glued. The story feels very real and not a half cooked batter of an effort just for the heck of making a sequel to a successful movie. The qualification of the story line and ingenuity of the director are apparent throughout the movie. If anyone of you has been or has had in the past, prepared for GMAT/CAT, then this sequel is like the perfect continuation of the first part.

Ram Gopal Varma doesn’t let the good work done in the first part go waste. He builds the story on the existing base, so character development is necessary for only a few people. The idea of ‘chai’ being a symbol of power is extremely powerful. While the drink remains the same, the styles of drinking change. The thumb is the same but styles of rotation are different and other parallels that have obvious yet remarkable connotations. The exchanges between Big B and Abhishek are very powerful. The movie, like the first part, has few dialogues but very meaningful and ones that impact the situation and help carry the story smoothly. Of course politics forms the base of the movie, but how well that political dilemma or conspiracy is developed feels surreal yet logical and very contemporary.

By the first half I was totally glued to the screen and did not realise that there were people around me. By that time I was thinking that this will go down as a feather in RGV’s cap, but the real stuff lies in the second half. The way the story unfolds is a bit sudden, but I guess rather than dragging the eventuality, RGV does the right thing by resolving the mystery through fast paced action and empowering his characters to take control, much like the first part. The women in the film look very good, yes Tanisha also looks good. Aishwarya, for once looks a capable miss world and does a good job. Again the introduction of Aishwarya is not forced, just because she is a Bachchan now. Her role is a critical link to the story and she perhaps fits the bill perfectly. Abhishek Bachchan, because of his limited talent looks repetitive but good repetitive. The other actors do their job quite well and look like the actual characters during the course of the movie rather than themselves. The enigmatic background score takes care of a lot of dialogues and creates a lot of impact by itself. The govinda, govinda or saam daam dand bhed engross you further into the story and their timing and sync with the script and dialogues is immaculate. And Big B, well if you are an Amitabh Bachchan fan you like everything, so this was quite exemplary stuff, simply superb. And if you are not a Big B fan, well what good are you to the society.

The story has a fascinating ending, which is again realistic yet shocking. This time of course RGV leaves no scope for guessing whether there will be another sequel. Yes there will be! And the final dialogue is really the icing on the cake, I couldn’t help start clapping at the end, something I do only instinctively and not just if the crowd is doing it. The movie perhaps clarifies the myths about being copied from Godfather’s screenplay or the book from Mario Puzo. I haven’t read the book myself, but I don’t think this part was anywhere similar to the book. The connection to Bala Saheb is not apparent, not a direct one anyhow. The politics depicted in the movie is a lot broader than we generally can imagine.

A wonderful end to an otherwise shitty week. The movie is already the year’s best, I mean including the ones that are going to come.

Juicy half volley!

2008-05-11T02:29:00.000-07:00

Summer is not my favorite time of the year. Although this winter was quite bone chilling, and I would like to take some stern measures to evade it near the year end, it is a touch better than the summers as a poor man can afford 3 sweaters but ill afford an AC. To add to that I can not have my favorite 'gud poli' (jaggery stuffed chapati) as it is harmful in warm conditions. But what is truly a delight in this season is the taste and sheer fragrance of ganne ka juice. Ahhh…even the mention of this name is such a calming influence for me, and it reminds me that there is still peace, harmony and goodwill in this world. Ganne ka juice is the perfect thirst quencher, all coke (which I like), pepsi, slice (has anyone seen the latest ad?...ooohh), fanta etc are put to shame my this amalgamation of supernatural elements and the king of all fruits, sugarcane.

In middle class families, juices were never and would never be, a part of daily consumption. Juice was an ultimate delicacy that was only had if you were severely ill or unbearably insistent on having it. Needless to say, the latter seldom happened. Juice as the word entails is the fruitful take away of something, which means you get only the good without the bad and this is perhaps an absolute antithesis ff the middle class values where the good and bad coexist. And therefore, maybe, juice never quite entered the psyche of the common man as a common drink. Even coke and pepsi are common drinks these days, I always find a bottle in my home when I go back. But never seen a packet of juice.

My oldest memories of the ganne ka juice (or what I call GJ amongst other things), take me to a time when I must have been 4 or 5 and I had a beautiful illness, where the doctor asked my father to have me drink one glass of juice everyday. Dr. Sethi his name was, and you wouldn’t expect me to forget him. Every evening I would wait for my father to return on his Lambretta and then I would hop on to the back seat, with an air of sheer smugness towards not just my sister, but to every kid in the colony. My father used to take me to a juice wala in jhilmil about a 500 m ride which used to feel like the NH8 in those days. The juice wala used primitive methods for milking the sugarcanes as it were. As many of you would have seen, there were 2 buffaloes moving in a circle for around 15 minutes as we waited impatiently. I could never quite make out where the juice was being taken, but I imagined it would be somewhere in the centre. Also because once the buffaloes stopped, the juice wala would go to the centre and take out the patila full of juice. The process after that has not really changed in the years since. The chhannees are still dirty, honey bees are aplenty, the glasses are considered washed with a small gush of water and masala still feels like the gravel below. But the taste remains unbeatable. It is the same sugarcane afterall and nothing can possibly beat it.

I have seen rates of glasses graduate from Re1 for bada glass and Rs.0.50 for chhota to Re10 for bada glass. But still very less has changed, which is good. The buffaloes have long lost out to machines, which suck every drop of juice out of the sugarcane and makes it feel something that rupak huda once told me – ‘tu paida hi kyun hua…mar kyun nahi jata’. But every life that the sugarcane gives up is worth every bit of juice that it gives out. Everytime I see a ganne ke juice ki dukaan, I feel like I am at home.

Juices are quite easily the flavor of every summer and as temperatures rise across the world it is going to stay. But for me and many of us, juices will still remain exotic variations to every day eating. The juice embodies a belief that we have missed the bad part and are straight up to the good things. That is of course one real reason why juices are slightly costly, but it is only up to us to accept it and endorse it like we have done with milk and to an extent soft drinks.

It is not a coincidence that till about a year ago, me and my flatmates celebrated the 1st of every month (salary day) by buying 2 packets of Real orange juice. It was almost a protocol, that the first spending of the salary will include juice. Since then, of course, credit card bills, rents, petrol bills, phone bills have been so high that the 1st is no more a day to celebrate. But then again when it comes to ganne ka juice, I have endorsed it completely and anytime I can find it, I’ll have it. Even if it is the 30th of a month.

I have not seen anyone who doesn’t like juices. Although there aren’t many who are as much as in love with juice as I am, but still everyone likes it. But I have never seen what an over dose of juice can do. Can it kill interest in the juice? Can someone find the juice unattractive if he had a lot of it for a significant period of time? Come the first week of June, the IPL will probably answer those questions. It may perhaps also tell us that if the overdose of juice has a side effect, does that mean that people stop liking the fruit or maybe even the tree that brought the fruit to life?

Lights, Camera…..PLAY!

2008-04-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

As an honest confession, we all have been cribbing about monotonicity in life and lack of change. Well not often so happens that change comes and almost sweeps you of the ground. So much so, that the change becomes, albeit momentarily, the major focus of the day. Welcome to the IPL, accept it or not, everyone is talking about it and you are talking about it to everyone.

Leave behind the big bucks for a second, leave behind the hypocritic moral high of playing for the country, this really smells like cricket at its very best. The problem is that such a feast of cricket is being served literally on a platter, that people find it unreal and sometimes, surprisingly, unacceptable. I’ll stick my head out and say that the IPL has given Ekta Kapoor and the likes (read Shahrukh and Salman Khan) a run for their money. You know its like that famous tag line from pizza hut - ‘you just can’t the beats’.

It’s now been a week since the tournament started, and it’s already been more entertaining than the 2007 World Cup (50 over). Since we won the 20-20 world championship, this tournament may not be able to take that place. But it’s up there. And there is only one reason why this tournament has been so popular, the quality of cricket period.

Whether it was the explosive McCullum, one of my favourites, or the audacious Veeru, the stylist Mr. Cricket or Shane Warne, the game has been played with enormous enthusiasm and a will to honestly do well for the team that’s paying you. I guess you come to expect that kind of professionalism from an Australian, South African and New Zealander. But I was most impressed to see Afridi take on Shane Warne with a verbal assault, even if it was poorly timed and out of nowhere. David Hussey’s rallied effort to win the game against the Chargers was a perfect example of the high level of intent and intensity.

The only major threat that I feared to this idea was the over dramatization of the event. Its good, atleast so far, that the game has been let alone to do the talking. The Zinta’s, Khans etc have been only dancing in their own groups in the stadium and so they should be. The cheerleaders are very indulging, but the cricketers have done well to keep their focus on the cricket because some of the cheer leaders are very very hot. The irony is that, the batsman who makes the cheerleaders dance to his tune by hitting the boundaries is a fair distance away from them and the third man enjoys the fine legs.

But what if the show was dramatized. There are a lot of Australian and kiwi players who are about to make their way back to their homes and with the IPL already being touted as an APL effectively, some of the excitement may be lost. So maybe to spice it up the creators may add a few theatrics to the show. For example, Shahrukh Khan will walk into the dressing room and deliver his ‘sattar minut’ speech to Dada and his boys. Or Pathan might get Sehwag out first ball clean bowled and suddenly the umpire will say…’theharo….No Ball’ and the camera will register the detailed shock faces of all the fielders from every angle, zooming in on each face. Or maybe Ricky Ponting will return to the pavilion after not making many runs and at the end of the game Ganguly and Shahrukh Khan will tell him ‘aaj tumhare energy levels kuch ache nahi the, aap aaj chakravyuh me hain’. Or after every game the Mumbai Indians lose, there will be a vote out and one player will go, which simply means that half way through the tournament they will have to buy new players. And maybe Dravid will be called in by Aamir Khan in his new television show ‘Kya aap under-15 se tez hain’, to which Dravid will reply ‘nahi me to us zamane se hi slow hu’…you know what I mean.

My major worry is that the galvanizing may cause televisionizing of the game. I still remember the days of 2003 world cup, when I could not go and watch the pre match show because a half naked women did not help the cause of an interesting discussion and I used to feel embarrassed. If the cricket remains cricket, rest assured there is a lot of money to be earned by everyone who is putting in stakes. But too much television coverage and influence will ruin it. I remember watching an interview of an old cricket photographer from England and he said some of the best pictures he had taken of cricketers were when they were by themselves and being themselves. But the insurgence of media has made them very cautious about their body language and they don’t seem natural on TV or pictures anymore.

Anyways, as per the ‘script’ so far, my team is doing well. Yeah the Delhi Daredevils are here to rule. Initially I had my doubts over the composition of the team. But Pidgie and Asif form a lethal combination, Vettori is exemplary and the kind of form Sehwag and Gauti are in its going to be very difficult for the rest of the teams. Shoaib Mallik, Karthik and Dhawan are ideal for this format in the middle order. And especially when the Australians leave our shores, Delhi will have the strongest lineup without any doubt. Hyderabad might come into the picture then, as they lose Symonds, but gain Gibbs who is an equally good fielder and batsman and less said about Symonds’ bowling the better. So my favourite picks for the semi final spots will be Delhi, Chennai for sure and two teams out of Hyderabad, Mohali and Rajasthan Royals. I am really excited to see how the RRs go from here, because they have the fire and nobody is ready to take them seriously yet, but they will have to pretty soon. Mumbai Indians are by far the worst team and once Sachin joins the team they are going to achieve new heights.

As I started by saying, forget about the money, forget about who wins, don’t even think that this game will hamper cricket in general, just look at the little things that have made the event so big. Remember the spell from Pragyan Ojha at Kolkatta, remember Piyush Chawla’s spell on a batting paradise, remember Shane Warne’ heroics in the final over, remember Abhishek Nayyar’s valiant effort for Mumbai against the Royals, remember the spell bowled by young Gony, remember the catch taken by Yuvraj, remember, would you believe it, Kaif hitting 3 sixes in an over off Symonds. These and many more are the moments to cherish from the tournament and really without them cricket is not cricket and without cricket IPL goes nowhere.

As I have said in earlier posts, whether the IPL stays for long or not is something that will be known in 2-3 years and I feel its unlikely that it will retain the effect it has now, simply because BCCI is going to lose interest in this initiative soon. But for the current edition things are going well and look all set for a competitive tournament of cricket.

Garv Nahi To Kuch Nahi….Aur Ab Dilli Door Nahin....

form is temporary, class is permanent...

2008-04-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

I have been infrequent with my posts on this blog, and even the posts that I put up have started becoming predictable. Although that should be the essence of blogging. Anyways, the point is that being predictable is one thing, but there is a fine line between it and being mundane.

Nobody’s life, I believe, is mundane though. We all have our share of surprises, planned or otherwise. Some of these surprises are pleasant some aren’t as much. But it is difficult to decide how much predictability you want in life and how much do you want to leave to the unknown. Week after week, month after month, as I pass through the motions of life, I wonder whether I have the right balance of the constants and variables in life. Confused? I think you have started to understand me better.

As I look back at my achievements in life, I think of what was it is that I did differently than when I did not achieve. Hard work is probably a basic explanation. But I think its too simplistic to relate hard work to achievement. A lot of times a lot of hard work does not yield anything. But from a practical point of view it’s unfair to doubt hard work in lack of success. But then again sometimes, the weight of one achievement can blind you into assuming another. In fact that is not just hypothesis, I have been through that experience once and it still hurts to think about those times.

As another year of our lives slowly makes its way to the ones gone by, I am trying to get hold of as much as I can in life. Money has been a constant issue with me, throughout life actually. Not that I don’t or didn’t have money to eat or buy clothes or something. I still have sympathy for the millions of poor and homeless, jobless and without any ‘life’. But once you get to one place you want to look up and keep going up. And that’s where my fundamental problem lies. By going to IIT, I suddenly achieved something that took me way ahead of people of similar calibre, who were perhaps not at the right place doing the right thing and got left behind. So my initial peer group basically ended behind me in terms of one quantum achievement. And I will not mince words in saying that I am proud of it. But from there on I have had much better peers, who have done so much and so well in life, and now I am slowly ending behind. Not to mention, I am not proud of it.

So where do I go from here, look up and aim for higher and risk falling in the process? Or just look below and live in a celebration of where I am? I am never too bothered about other people’s expectations. I know parents can sometimes ask for too much. But then my parents expected me to do well in studies in college (i.e. get a CGPA of at least 7.5), but I turned down the offer immediately. So nothing can affect me in terms of expectations more than that. But constantly achieving new things and feats lends a lot of contentment in life, which like every other person, I strive for. Maybe don’t get it as often enough. It does make me feel, that maybe I am just not good enough and one good show has got me where I am. Maybe I am not able to carry my weight on my own, you know till school and JEE aai would use the long handle, as it were, if I wouldn’t work hard. But slowly as I got on my own, I started to loose my grip. Of course on the cricket field, aai papa had little influence, after the first few days when I got my first ‘leather ki ball wala bat’ and a pack of 6 samrat balls, which to my pleasant disbelief were also used for the Delhi Inter IIT in 2002. So I did a bit by myself on the field. But academically and professionally, I have more or less failed to get things going too well. And if this is more or less true, then my dilemma is that I know the problem and not the solution.

Of course, as the wise would have it, success and failure are phases in life. You win some and you lose some. It will be better if you, or I, don’t take it personally. But that doesn’t mean that you stop caring about success totally. I guess living the dilemma is the challenge of life. Its like learning to swim, when you go down, the only way you can survive is by telling yourself that you will come up again. Which is funny because I don’t know how to swim and I am not that fond of water either.

The Ahmedabad test match, definitely put a few things into perspective. After a huge win in Perth and a respectable draw in Adelaide, and the 319 massacre in Chennai, the shabby display of cricket has helped set the expectations right with this team. A while back when the Sydney controversy broke, I had said that if we win in Perth, which looked unlikely, and then win the one day series, MI, we could be the next world rulers in the game. Perhaps not, not for some years to come atleast.

Zindagi ki yahi reet hai….haar ke baad hi jeet hai

Change of Pace

2008-03-16T07:25:00.000-07:00

It’s out there, it’s inevitable and it’s about to hit the world. Well maybe not as dramatic as changing the world. But it is surely going to impact a lot. Its change! A new order is setting in, and if not so much a setting up of a new order, the old order is surely on its way out. In an obvious sense I am referring to the downfall of Australia’s supremacy in cricket, but a lot more as well.

I generally put an effort not sound like the ‘see I told you so’ types. But it is very apparent. A fabulous win by the Indian team down under. And while the Aussies whine for lots of other stuff, for once they can not blame it on the absence of MCGrath, Warne, Lee, Hayden or Ponting etc. India, with probably not the best 11 on paper, beat the best Australian side available. By no means should the Australians accept that they are no longer the champions of the game, they will not either. But that will only make the forthcoming wins against them more worthy and will give the world more chances to rub the salt into their wounds.

As I was saying, the change was in the offing. There were many factors indicating towards the change. All it needed was one honest and hard effort to bring it off. And the Indian team did it with great aplomb. But there have been other changes, that were more or less due. The refreshing 117 by Sachin, is perhaps his best if analysed in great detail. I haven’t seen him finish a game with such control, ever. His batting was a masterclass as it used to be in the late 90s and early this decade. But at no point he looked like throwing it away, or someone taking it away from him. Sachin is finally discovering one area of batting that he didn’t quite conquer. This is a welcome change, and if Sachin can continue to do this before he signs off, he will surely be among my favourite cricketers ever.

The other big change, for me personally, is a big one and pretty much long due. I have finally switched to a new place. The previous place, where I spent almost a year and a half, had 10 hours of power a day and was becoming unbearable. The new place is a lot bigger, cleaner and good looking. And not to mention it gives me an additional flat mate, someone I have known for 6-7 years now. Which is both comforting and scary at the same time. The place is good and if we can maintain it well, it will be a nice place to spend time. The frustration that had set in my mind due to the constant black out at the previous place was making me an impatient and restless person, which I have tried to unbecome for a long time and don’t want to go back to those days again. I like the peace within me and it makes others like me.

Better go to sleep now, lots of work tomorrow...

Cricket. I don’t like it…….I love it!

2008-02-24T00:44:00.000-08:00

With this tag line started a new revolution in the world of cricket. The first real overhauling cricket has had in the times that I have been watching the game. In England in 2002, the cricket board came up with the idea of starting a 20 over tournament with fancy backgrounds, innovative rules and of course eye catching cricket. A nation that had manifested a cult called cricket was feeling the lack of interest the people were showing to their national game and the administrators threw caution to wind and out came a product called Twenty20.

Perhaps after thorough market research and statistical analysis, the designers and experts realised that cricket was dragging for too long to keep the crowd engaged. To add to that the purists of the game were becoming far and few and the new generation wanted quickfire fun. T20 was the perfect amalgamation of cricketing brilliance, business opportunity and crowd entertainment. The tournament involved most of the county teams who played 3.5 hour games, sometimes three matches in one day. The viewers were most happy to watch it as a movie with action all through the length of the game. The interest was revived somewhat and the way cricketers approached their game became more proactive and flamboyant.

Meanwhile, a little south east of England, a country which was doing massive business through the game already was setting itself up to see a major rebellion. That the BCCI has been opaque and unaccountable in its functioning is written in LKG books these days. It was therefore not a surprise that ZEE television came up with its own idea of setting up a league, the ICL, with the same format, to draw in crowds. Apart from its promise of providing justice for all its pros, it promised great fun and action packed cricket. To add to this they thought of bringing in international stars, however, largely retired cricketers or ones who never made it to the top or didn’t think they ever could.

But how could BCCI sit on it haunches and let someone else make money. So out came the IPL, promising many more stars of the game ensuring great VC interest and absolutely astronomical salaries for cricketers involved. Within no time the event was materialised, the idea for which was apparently put forward 2 years ago. The BCCI with its monetary power was able to collect some of the biggest current names in the game and the inauguration of the event crystallized with the recent players’ auction. Huge salaries running into crores have been put into contracts for Indian and overseas players in a promise to provide excellent viewership on cricket grounds across India. There has been considerable disappointment and criticism of the franchise owners for throwing in so much money to a sport which already enjoys a billion dollar revenue. Some even went on and said that this money could have been used to support poor people and the education of rural India. However, I think this talk is plain rubbish. A very communist approach in an otherwise capitalist economy. Not to mention that the money pooled in will draw even more money which most of the franchise owners such as Reliance and India Cements will put in their CSR activities anyhow, which people tend to forget. Plus cricketers will make some money which is not bad at all. It’s like entering a booming domain where salaries are sky high. Nobody questions I-Banks for giving huge salaries to its employees, where run of the mill IITians and IIMians draw so much money with so little knowledge.

I have no doubt in my mind that the IPL will outdo the rebel league. But what next? The idea of T20 precipitated as a natural course of development of the game. The sports governing body realized that they need to fill in more excitement in the game to sustain it. Things took their natural course and slowly even the purists accepted the format as a form of the game. Then the setting up of the ICL was also a natural course. However this time not for the development of cricket per say, but to destroy the anarchy of the BCCI which was increasingly becoming indifferent to cricket and engrossed with making money for a few individuals. The ICL was part of an opportunity to make more money and perhaps establish a new order in Indian cricket.

The establishment of IPL though was for all the wrong reasons. It was not a fall out of positive vision or the process of development. It was only to curb the rebel league from finding a footing in India and hampering the monetary benefits reaped by the BCCI. This is what is its strongest point to stay at the top. They already have money and they will run ICL out of business. But once that job is done the BCCI on its part will have no mission to continue with the IPL, the objective will have been completed and BCCI will go back to its money minting best. There is also major doubt on how people will come to appreciate matches between Banglore and Mumbai and Kolkata, when there are already very few who go to the stadiums to watch Ranji matches. Possibly the television coverage will provide eye balls to the event, but even that will not sustain if passion and competitiveness does not exist between teams. For how long can people come to watch Symonds vs. Bhajji. The best part though is that cricketers will benefit on the short term. Which means that the ICL (not IPL) will have achieved at least one of its goals. So while the senior management in ZEE television may be sacked around, people like Kapil Dev and Sandip Patil will feel pleased.

The worst part is that, like every other business if employees start changing jobs for competitive salaries a time might come when cricketers may start skipping international matches for such tournaments and the game will be deprived of any passion. The road ahead for cricket is anyways narrowing down. Professionalism does mean better quality of cricket but it also means that the game can be thrown out due to business failure. Slowly and steadily the game will meet the same fate as that of hockey.

Finally, I feel very pleased to know that Ishant Sharma, all of 19, will earn 3.8 crores in 3 years, something that I will definitely earn in this life. I am sure even my parents must be starting to think, ki yaar isse acha to isse cricketer hi bana dete, IIT me ghanta bhej diya, ….and I think that will be the biggest positive coming out of this entire episode.

DON

2008-02-07T12:05:00.000-08:00

“Raj Singh”…Kya tumhe maut se darr nahi lagta?

Debates, discussions, likes, dislikes, arguments and disagreements are as much a part of life as they are of cricket. You will rarely find two people having the same ideas about ‘cricket’ and agreeing to something amicably. Then again just as in real life there are some axioms in cricket that bestow equilibrium. One of these is of course the unchallenged superemacy of Sir Donald Bradman. There are people however who feel Sachin Tendulkar lies in the same unconquerable category, but I for one don’t take it as an axiom.

But that discussion apart, there is an axiom in reel life too, the big Bachhan is the Don of Cinema. Unparalled and unbeatable in his exploits. He is the super hero who has changed lives, for the better more often than not, purely through his acting and charisma. But of course going on describing the laurels he has achieved for himself and the country will probably take a few weeks. And that is precisely why I believe it is an axiom. No discussions and debates exist here. Yet some idiots try there hands and mouths at tarnishing his image. Doing such a crime in this day an age is one thing, but doing it for politically motivated ventures is quite amazing. My (un)sincere sympathies to this demented mind. Forgive him ‘god’ for he doesn’t know what he does.

The issue of outsiders and natives has plagues India for years now, and more so in southern and western parts of India. In the western part, Maharashtra more so than Gujarat. I can not understand the weird sense of inferiority complex these people have when it comes to accepting north Indians. If some one would suggest that such disharmony and divisive vibe exists in north India, I can only laugh my stomach off on that. And its pretty big as most of you know. I myself an inherently maharshtrian, have never realised that an issue such as acceptance exists. Delhi has been a true cosmopolitan, not just because it’s difficult for a Punjab or Haryana or UP to stake claim on its heritage, but because people here are so naturally adjusting. If I speak about south Indians, it may not sound fair, but I can say that with some authority about maharashtrians that they are not flexible by birth. And there inability to be social and friendly is reinforced during the course of their childhood and up bringing.

But as I said, the problem lies in an inherent sense of inferiority against north Indians, more so punjabi’s and bhaiyyas. My knowledge of this complex tells me that there are three factors which engrain such a feeling. One, that maharashtrians are physically weaker than their Punjab and UP compatriots so they can never beat them with hands, hence use the mouth to demean them as much as possible. Secondly unlike marathi’s and south Indians, north Indians are great businessmen and entrepreneurs who make a buck and make it quick. Maharashtrians can’t fathom such electric growth and out of the box business skills. They can only catch the local on time with the tiffin in one hand and the nut-bolt in the other and end the day feeling like they achieved something. Thirdly, north Indians have a sense of style and flamboyance which makes them popular and adored when maharashtrians will sit in there home writing slogans on how to keep visitors outside the door step. If you don’t believe me check out for some links on the web on what people in Pune write outside there houses. One of the slogans goes like this ‘ek da bell vazavnyavar uttar dile nahi tar dusryanda bel vazavu naye; dusryanda bell vazavlya var tumcha apmaan kela zail’. Which translated to English means ‘if we don’t answer the door when you ring the bell the first time, don’t ring it again. If you ring it a second time we will humiliate you’. I am talking of people who can afford houses in Pune, so you can imagine these are rich well educated families. I have long detached myself from being called a maharashtrian. I love the fact that I know marathi, for one it is good to know a language and two that my parents never thrust it on me and my sister to learn it. They spoke it and we picked it up, that’s about it. Today I belong to North India, and have always belonged since I was 2. I was born in UP, I lived in Delhi, I read in UP and now I work in Haryana. Not to mention my Punjabi connection ;).

The bottom line is that your belief and ideas are restricted to yourself, but when you are in a society you have to accept others and keep changing accordingly. One might say that why does AB then advertise for UP. I make the following points.

He has spent his early years in UP and those years leave a permanent mark on you.
He still feels like a part of UP and he has all the right to think so, if you notice all his dialogues that have brought so much money in Mumbai and Maharashtra, start with ‘arre bhaiyya…’
It’s not like he doesn’t care for Mumbai. He has done tonnes of charities and fund raising campaigns in Maharashtra that can’t be overlooked.
The act of him becoming brand ambassador for UP is not meant to look down upon the ghati maharashtrians, but these ghatis want to, for some reason, look down upon there countrymen from the north.

The worst part is that at the end of the day a poor bihari cab driver gets beaten up. Sad yaar! If someone has the guts then bring AB on the street and beat him up. Why the poor man yaar, he is just earning a living. Don’t we empathize with our people who go abroad for studies and jobs and get clobbered because of not being natives? Then we are ready to condemn the Americans and the British for being high handed and perhaps racist (it’s a popular word these days eh?). Why can’t we relate ourselves to that predicament and be civil about the rights of an Indian to earn money to live a life anywhere in India.

Every place has its short comings and I know Delhi does too. But as proud as I feel about calling myself a Delhite, I feel as ashamed at times at calling myself Marathi. Seriously, the word marathi seems synonymous to a perpetual loser to me. A lot of maharshtrians though have done India proud, Sachin Tendulkar being one of them. But these Thackrey boys are not getting their injections at the right times. I feel as aggrieved as these guys would be if I were to call Shivaji names. But I won’t, thanks to my interface with north India.

As an interesting discussion in my office ensued about who was the greatest cricketer India had produced, some of the guys were hell bent on giving the accolade to Sachin. But as much as I respect his contribution to Indian cricket I think the Jat from Haryana takes the cake, quite literally by heads and shoulders.

Standing Up

2008-01-30T14:19:00.000-08:00

A lot has been happening in the last month both on and off the field as it were, and I haven’t had time to write much. But the sheer amount of activity in the last month of 2007 kept me consumed. Most of the activity happened in office, with long hours of work and at times working through to dawn.

Sometimes the mind wonders about what exactly is it that we look for when we put in that kind of effort at work. Is it the money? I am pretty sure that I am not getting a hell of lot of money. Then what is it that I really get out of it. The answer probably is nothing. And the problem compounds when you attract discredit for some work that you fall short of doing. More often than not, all the good work is forgotten by just one instance. And while that is bearable, what frustrates you the most is when you are not at fault in your book. A couple of times now I have felt like being at the receiving end for no fault of mine. Funnily enough, at times I feel people giving me the discredit are at fault themselves. But then again it matters for too less to make a difference.

It is probably a part of my first real professional learning, that doing well is a matter of fact and so is being held responsible for any breakdown whatsoever. The other thing about being held responsible for someone else’s mistake is that you can not even reason yourself out. On most occasions you are not given a chance to prove things right and even if you snatch a chance, people are smart and have all kinds of bullshit to throw at you to convince you about your mistake and trying to sound helpful by being the person who highlights your incompetence. Just as well I stopped listening to such feedback and advice a long time back. After a while you have to find your footing at work and think on your own feet. No one works for charity is probably the mantra.

The situation I find myself in these days, persistently reminds me of the predicament of a wicket keeper. I think keeping wickets is the most thankless job in cricket. You can go all day sitting up and down doing 500 situps a day and one missed chance or even a poor collection can ruin the effort. And add to that some of the rubbish that bowlers keep bowling down the leg side and some ridiculous half volleys from the outfield that these guys have to collect, at times take the blow on the shin. Wickets keepers seldom get the kind of appreciation they command. In addition to the work they do with the gloves a wicket keeper is an important part of the field setting process as he is closest to the action. Even that credit is usually enjoyed by Captains alone.

And things get worse when you have to stand up to the stumps. From that distance, even good bowls are difficult to take. Rising sharply going above the shoulders. These days keepers have started using crash helmets, thanks mainly to Nayan Mongia and Anil Kumble I believe. At least they have some protection now, but the job remains an ordeal and appreciation is hard to come by.

Ofcourse on the topic of keepers its relevant to mention Adam Gilchrist who recently retired from cricket, to concentrate on the IPL. He has been iconic in his display as a wicket keeper batsman, even inspirational at times with his batting. He will be missed by the world of cricket, but after his recent antics I am really not a fan anymore.

India has had a long history of producing great wicket keepers from N. Tamhane to Nayan Mongia. But in the last 10 years we have had as many number of regular wicket keepers which is an astonishing figure for a country where the average height is 5.5-5.6. Where have all the little men gone? Pakistan, in fact, has a better record than us with only three major wicket keepers in the last ten years. Moin Khan (my favourite), Rashid Latif and now Kamran Akmal (maybe one or two in between). The Indian list is much longer. Let me finish the post with a few lines on each one of them:

N. Mongia – truly a gem behind the stumps, the last real cheetah that we have produced behind the stumps. Was good with the batting and probably betting too :P.
S.S.Karim – basically ok in both departments, had a couple of memorable games but that’s about it. The eye injury abruptly ended a potential career.
MSK Prasad – never looked like he wanted to make an impression, nothing special with the bat either, still a mystery his selection
Samir Dighe – the old man from Bombay, one memorable score of 22 at Chennai was all there was to him, another mystery
D.D.Gupta – no mystery here, simple humour. The MCC manual on what to avoid while keeping wickets. He was hilarious and brought a lot of joy in an otherwise disappointing drubbing in south Africa. And with the bat he even left Rahul Dravid behind (or ahead) when Rahul was in his hay days (pun intended).
V.Dahiya – a proper wicket keeper and lower order batsman, never quite understood why he got lost in selection. Maybe Dada ko uske joote pasand nahi aaye…India could have used his services for sometime
A.Ratra – the under 19 fashion caught on. Young blood became a thumb rule and robin singh had to go as a reason, what a shame! Don’t see his name in the Haryana team these days, who knows where he is now.
P.Patel – the under 16 fashion caught on then. This time dada liked the shoes…kya gaddha tha yaar wo…looking at him keeping, I was reminded of the song, ‘aati nahin…’. Bloody could not collect straight forward balls and to stand to Anil Kumble was always going to be a problem, probably cost the Sydney test last time. Batting was ok types, but really mystery again as to why he was in the team
D.Karthik – one of the inspirational success stories of Indian cricket in recent times. I have never really seen someone fall off the ranks and then make a comeback like he has. All the above keepers were one time wonders and he looked good to be another one in the list, but he went back and scored loads of runs to make a stunning comeback to both one day and test teams. And a good fielder as well apart from his good keeping abilities.
M.S.Dhoni – I was never comfortable with the idea of an Indian player donning long hair. The Jharkhandi looked like one, and still does. But his batting exploits were just breath taking. Initially a poor wicket keeper and kept his place only due to his batting. But much improved now, some silky takes down leg side and back of the hand flicks to remove the bails. And now also the captain, he is doing well and I hope he continues this way.

And last but not the least, Rahul Dravid. Poor man trying to add balance to the team, his batting went 2-3 notches higher after taking the gloves and in that little period he was probably the best batsman in the world. His keeping wasn’t inspirational but his application and desire was. And as always his keeping only brought criticism because people only saw the mistakes he made and carefully ignored the value he added to the team. Hats off!

Awwww Yes!

2008-01-20T00:26:00.000-08:00

The last year or so has actually been pretty good for the Indian test team if you recollect. But somehow each of these victories has had a great sense of occasion and charm. If in South Africa it was the first victory in the country, in West Indies and England it was series win after a huge length of time. But what about this one? Down 0-2 in the series, mauled by issues not within the teams control and feeling hapless and cornered. To come back from there and win is what expresses strength of character. If anyone of you remember the famous dialogue right at the end of the movie Ab tak Chappan, Nana Patekar clearly highlights the difference between Strength and Nuisance Value, if you know what I mean. India at Perth, showed strength not just of character but of skill, for they outplayed their opponents in every part of the game.

India batted well, which will never surprise me against any team as the big four have more than 30,000 runs among themselves. They were expected to. But India outclassed Australia in the bowling department as well. Shaun Tait looked as feeble as Geoffrey Boycott turning in his right arm slow medium in the 79’ world cup final. Johnson was ok in patches. It was really Lee and Clarke who ever had good designs to get a batsmen out. RP Swing and Pathan did what they could do best, Ishant Sharma wasn’t so bad either. And do not forget that India in the field, at least catching, was far better than Australia who looked clumsy and inelegant for slip fielders. Probably the final score line of 72 runs doesn’t well reflect that Australia were outplayed, but I think it was better as it kept Australia interested all the time and gave them a bigger heart break.

The Sydney episode was sad, and I hope it doesn’t happen ever again. But if you have to take some positive out of it, it must have brought the team together. The dressing room will have been warmer and internal conflicts must have been put aside to fight the external pressure. And the man who did a great job of reminding his team that unity doesn’t mean that we go out on strike together and protest against the bad taste of the previous test, but Kumble ensured that the cohesiveness was put to good cricketing use and improving the performance of the team on the field. The respect I have for this man can only multiply. With the dignity and integrity that he has conducted himself off the field and on the field, is something else. I would long to be as respected a man as him than be as successful as Sachin Tendulkar or the Australian team. And what’s more is that Kumble has shown that you can win with those traits and do necessarily have to play the game ‘hard but fair’, oh god that line still splits me into pieces with laughter.

A great win for the Indian team, but I don’t want to give them everything just yet. Another win at Adelaide will be the knockout. And there is a lot of other cricket left in Australia as well. But definitely an outstanding start, lets capitalize and then celebrate. To be honest, I thought of 4-0 after Sydney, I never had the hope of pulling it off, but the way this Indian team has done it, is quite sensational.

By the way here is what I think of the 11 that played in the test match:

Wasim Jaffer: he hasn’t quite hit his straps and has struggled all summer. But it will break my heart to see him go. He is a fine player and elegant, should be given some more chances.
Virender Sehwag: not my initial choice for selection, I would rather have had his opening partner from last tour who was making a hundred against UP in the Ranji finals first innings. What Sehwag did was exactly what was expected, but you cant be sure he will do it again. But those two wickets give him an edge over karthik and sehwag should be an automatic selection for Adelaide. I hope the good work done by karthik is not forgotten quickly and Sehwag is used in Australia as part of a horses for courses approach.
Dravid: good heavens he finally clicked, but he agonised me even more by playing that no.11 stroke after having played beautifully for 93. It was an absolutely uncharacteristic shot for him. Still a great contribution and my no.3 for Adelaide.
Sachin – played very well and survived some tough spells from Lee and Clarke. Dropped a sitter at 1^st slip, I initially thought why was Dravid not there since he is the best in the world, but then when he took ponting at 3rd I thought, just as well. Sachin can’t imagine horizontal catches.
Ganguly – you would think that his failure would be a great opportunity to throttle him. But he has been the most consistent of late and one failure is ok. What always bothers me is that he never looks like a part of the team. He stands mostly on the boundry and there he can never be inspirational when a lot of running is involved.
Laxman – absolutely not a lax man him. He should have been the vice captain here for me. Played as well as he does. Caught as well as he does. Needs a lot of work with running between wickets.
Dhoni – impressive, fighter and understands the situation very well. Each of his 38 runs in the second innings was its worth in gold. And his keeping, well he is among the top 3 keepers in world cricket right now. He didn’t let anything go I don’t think so.
Pathan – bowled well with pace, swung the ball from the right length. Inspirational batting performance and deservingly the man of the match. But harbouring thoughts of opening the batting with him in Adelaide will be detrimental. Will be difficult to fit him in for Adelaide, but should get picked somehow
Kumble – great captaincy, great bowling no less, but for that brief hammering from Mitchell Johnson. He has been a great leader and much different form Ganguly who was also successful but synical. Kumble will always lead from the front because he knows the moment his performance drops he will quit the game now.
RP – he is getting better everyday, and his typical bhaiyya like languaze is adorable. Did so well with the bat also and his innings was the final blow without which all the earlier blows would have ended up nowhere. Perhaps should have shared the man of the match with Pathan.
Ishant – one superb spell to a great batsman, should be enough to earn him a place in the team. Early to say much else about him, but looks like he has the intent to do well.

By the looks of things I think for the next test match, bhajji in and Jaffy out will be the verdict. But still India should look do what they did here and nothing else special.

Teri Maa Ki....

2008-01-14T13:58:00.000-08:00

For the past three weeks or so, my house in gurgaon has had drops of electricity. It usually comes for about 5-7 hours a day. Writing a post is unthinkable; I barely get to check emails. I think I have some time today to reflect upon these past few weeks.

A lot has been said already about the Sydney test match, that my writing something will really not help in adding value to the discussions going on. But I think some of you may be interested in knowing my perspective to it also. I think there are two ways of looking at the issue. The first is a very objective way, practical approach which will keep the future of the game as the top priority. Going by this approach, Kumble’s recent decision to drop charges against Hogg, is most welcome. Ofcouse the cancellation of the ‘agreement’ with Ponting is even more welcome. Hopefully the Australians can let go the charges against Bhajji and we can have a good test match at Perth.

The second approach is to look at it in detail and being emotionally involved with what happened on the field and what those incidents represent. In fact a deeper analysis of those incidents will showcase just why this approach is better for the game in the longer run. There are three separate issues as most experts have analysed. First is the awesome umpiring, second the Bhajji racism row and the third Australia’s integrity and gamesmanship.

The umpiring was not sub standard, it just looked like it was a sabotage. If you are trying to tell me that Bucknor thought Dravid nicked that ball on the final day, then either it was not Steve Bucknor standing there or as I suspect there was some money exchanging hands. I will not be surprised if Ricky Ponting had another pact with the umpires regarding close catches and close in catches. A lot was at stake for Ricky Ponting in this test match as he is now possibly only three cricket days away from entering history books for his extraordinary leadership. This suspicion may be out of place but I think there should be a demand for an enquiry into chances of match fixing. If so many mistakes would have been made by an Indian player or worse still a Pakistani player there would have been commissions set up by now to carry out investigations. I think Steve Bucknor should atleast be quizzed for it no matter if he comes out of it clean. Honestly, I hope he does. Mark Benson was equally supportive of Bucknor in setting the benchmark of the worst umpiring ever and probably in any sport. I mean Indian and Pakistani umpires used to give shockers as well but they used to be intended. This performance from Buck and Ben, we are to believe, was unintentional and spontaneous, so it has to qualify as the worst ever. And the third umpire, said why should I stay behind. Shit, I mean nobody is talking about him, his license to be third umpire should be cancelled. After years of watching slow mo replays even my sister and mother could tell that was out. How he missed it, is in fact not a mystery to me.

The racism row – all I can say is well played Ricky Ponting. He is a shrewd man who will go to any depths in winning matches. I don’t care even if Bhajji called him a monkey, I mean symonds looks like a monkey whats so surprising in that. But Ponting leveraged it to create an issue, brought it to the public and Mike Procter said ‘humme bhi to khidmat ka mauka do’ and like a nice doggie gave harbhajan a ban, saying that he is certain beyond any reasonable doubt that Sachin Tendulkar is lying and Andrew Symonds the direct descendant of Raja Harishchandra is telling the truth. I think Sachin needs to come out and let the world know exactly what he heard and what he didn’t. The players should understand that there is a furore in the country against this ban. If eventually it turned out that bhajji was guilty this could turn very ugly and the constant silence from the Indian team is fuelling this feeling that something more is cooking beneath. I think in light of these charges, India should not have withdrawn charges on Hogg. I mean what was the point of filing that complaint in the first place. Ponting is not taking the complaint back, he in fact turned down the offer of apology to douse the potential fire. Why is India accommodating so much. For the sake of what? Cricket? Do they really think that there was cricket being played on that field? Cricket may be above an individual but it is not above the honour and self respect of an individual. India should take the whole cricketing fraternity to ransom and demand a clarification on the charges first and then on exactly what evidence did Mike Procter hand over the ban in the first place.

The third issue is of the integrity and here I think Ricky Ponting lost a lot of points. I mean all Australian players will support him blindly, but others who can see the TV and see the ball hit the turf will not be able to back him for too long. I feel sorry for Ponting there that he could not direct that play very well. Although the acting was top class, whether it was the outrageous appeal for Dhoni’s catch, or the ‘I asked Clarke and he said he was a 100 percent certain it carried’ or the best of the lot ‘as it turned out it was given not out, am I right or wrong? Am I right or wrong? Some exquisite piece of bollywood style vigour and josh.

But his ‘puppets’ couldn’t quite carry the show, and it’s an irony because some of them are being groomed, as they say, to be the next Ponting. Clarke made a nice fool of himself by standing at the crease after he gloved the ball to first slip. His expressions were not right, they said I know I am out, but I think Bucks cheque has cleared, in’it ump? As it turned out the cheque had not cleared and the ump gave him out. Had he not given that out he might have had Kumble’s fist go right through his face.

Ricky Ponting has brought shame to the game of cricket and as Kumble put it ‘its for everyone to see’. I think the best way to move on from here is to remember this test match. And we don’t need to remember it for too long, Austrlians will be in India this year, and we should not mince words or anything at all in giving it back to them. What always happens in a fight is that the first mover makes the blow and then a third party intervenes to sort things out. The wounded person is not able to take revenge and then the whole world will tell him to be the bigger man and move on. I say forget the move on, changing an umpire and putting a stay on bhajji’s ban doesn’t give us back the Sydney test. We have to ensure that when Australians come here, the third umpire is an Indian. Steve Waugh was very smart in saying that only the best umpires should stand in big matches. Which means that he doesn’t want to give India a chance of getting their revenge back. In any case there is no Indian umpire on the elite panel and the best umpire is an Australian so he can say that as much as he wants but that should not happen. Bloody Ian Chappel and Michael Slater say on TV ‘I have no problems with that catch, I think he caught that and had it covered’, it makes no fucking difference what you think mates, as an expert commentator tell the world what the laws of the game say. Or do you not know about the laws or any such thing. Let me come their and do the commentary. Ian Chappel says that the clipping is inconclusive whether that’s out or not out. I mean, I didn’t know he was blind. The TV showed it clearly enough that it was a one tip two hand catch. I think Ian Chappell will be ok with that also.

The major problem of this entire controversy was summed up by Sunil Gavaskar during his comments on TV. He said, that when he was part of the Bombay Ranji team, his team always used to get the 50-50 decisions in their favour. They were the best team and strongest team so umpires used to give decisions in their favour more often. I can understand that happening, but if Sunil Gavaskar realizes this then as an ICC panel member he should already be doing something about it. All we need right now is a win, just beat Australia once and it will all come crumbling down, the period of their dominance is now near its end. And there is a chance for a new team to establish itself at the top of the world. Lets see who it will be this time, but I have strong feeling that this time it will be a subcontinent team and/or the one that wins the 2011 world cup.

As for the Perth test, I will go with the following 11 players and bat for as many overs as possible. If possible 2-3 days just keep batting and draw the test match.

Team – Jaffer, Sehwag, Dravid, Tendulkar, Ganguly, Laxman, Yuvraj, Karthik, Dhoni, Kumble, Pathan.

Final Frontier

2007-12-23T12:04:00.000-08:00

I have never been so excited to write a post I think. I am typing faster than I am thinking it seems. Every time I write a post I go through it many times in the head over several days before putting it on my laptop. But this one will just flow with my emotion. For a day has come but comes rarely in history. Probably a little over the top, but I am over the top today I guess. I hate to be sitting in my room right now typing out this post when I could have been there, right there where it happened. Fittingly right where we should have done it. People who know me people who don’t, I am thrilled to bits to tell you all that IIT Delhi won the Inter IIT Cricket Gold in Bombay. My hands shiver as I write this, because it always seemed only a distant dream.

I may not be a part of this team now but the tears are real. I may not have influenced this achievement one bit but the attachment is intense. Roushing Singh and a bunch of young talented boys have done it. I am so proud today. This post might give the feeling that I am taking credit for this, to hell with that I could never care. It is my team and I feel that I am still a part of it and a big part of me is still connected with it. Finally the clock has turned on this team and they have done what every team wishes to achieve. Invincibility.

2002 in Delhi was the only time we came close to winning the gold. We lost the final to Madras and the sight of my sulking captain who played out of his skin to try and win it, made me choke. The presence of his father on the field made it even more emotional. But having done my bit of sobbing in a match before I decided not shred that tear anymore, not when we lose.

2004 in Madras, we won both our league matches topped the pool. In the semi final against Madras, we batted first and were skittled for 65 on a dying pitch. We lost by 10 wickets. There was nothing to be said to each other just a walk back to our rooms, no one talked to each other. We played the 3-4 playoffs and lost again. The dream ended in a nightmare.

2005 in Roorkee, when I was the Captain, we won all three of our league matches including a smashing victory over Madras which my team brought as a personal gift for me. We batted first in the semi final were restricted to 109. This time we fought like tigers, defending a small target we got to 7 wickets and due to some bad luck lost again. One of the new boys in the team started crying on the field. He reminded me of the unfortunate final in 2002 and I almost choked, but helped the boy recollect himself and put his head up high. We played the 3-4 playoff and won handsomely to finish 3^rd, redeem some pride. But the dream just couldn’t be the reality.

2006 in Guwahati, we probably had the best team on paper, with all 11 capable of batting. We won both our league matches by some distance and topped the pool. In the semi final we batted first and got out for 125, and were chased down with 4-5 wickets in hand. I had left the team the previous year, but the news of losing a third straight semi final was disheartening. We again finished 3^rd and the dream made it clear that we have still not woken up.

In 2003 when the Inter IIT was played in Bombay, we probably played with the worst team I have been with – lead by an erratic captain, an influential non performer, an egoistic star, an ordinary batting order and of course an uninspiring vice captain (myself). We lost all our league matches. This included the one I described some time back in a post where I had to get 5 off the last 2 balls and I couldn’t put bat to ball. We went back humiliated and crushed, not just by our own expectations but also of the entire contingent of 120 fellows representing IIT Delhi.

In 2007 back in Bombay for the inter IIT, we won both our league matches and topped the pool. This time we chased in the semi final and won by 5 wickets. Two days ago at the same venue, the gymkhana sports complex in IIT Bombay, Roushan Singh and Arwinder Singh (VC) would have stood as the proud recipient of the winner’s trophy. Guess who we beat in the finals? Yes it was IIT Madras. My emotions get to my eyes even as I imagine the two boys going up to the dais to lift the trophy. The hooting, the cheering, the slogans of Delhi Delhi Delhi…I can almost hear them. The only place where we hadn’t won a single match during my 5 years in IIT is the most fitting arena to win the gold. This win is truly a tribute to Sandeep Chhokker, who made his debut for IIT Delhi at this ground in 2003, and came out as one of the few good performers (besides Amit Gupta and Balaji). As he finishes his Inter IIT stint this year, this is the befitting reward for his excellent service to the cricket team as a player, as an ex-captain and also his efforts as the General Secretary of the BSA IITD this year.

My heartiest congratulations to the entire team for this outstanding achievement. The dream is finally reality today. While most of the players must be new, those who I think were part of it – Roushan, Sandeep, Arwinder, Krishna, Randhawa, Siwach and one of my two most favourite Akshay. You all are champions; you always were, it was just about getting it all together.

While I almost envy these guys for getting this achievement without me, I am as I said before, thrilled to bits. I will miss those days, that passion and the excitement. It comes very rarely in life. The lesson to be learnt, is that it will always pass you by. The best way of enjoying it is living it in the moment and reminiscing it the rest of your life.

Down Under

2007-12-18T13:14:00.000-08:00

Its 4.30am as some noise hits my sleeping ears. It’s probably my dad hustling about in the house. I was sleeping in the main bedroom with mom and dad as I was still too afraid of sleeping alone. My mother is also up due to the constant noise and decides get on with the day already. My dad brings a nice cup of tea for himself. The tube light in the bed is still off as some other light starts to distract me from my sleep. With half open eye lids I wake up to see what the fuss is all about. As my eyes adjust to the light if the television I realise a certain K.Srikkanth and Ravi Shastri are batting and McDermott has the ball in his hands. That chilled morning of 1991 was a start of new phase of my life.

It was probably the first time I woke up at that hour and saw the sunrise, albeit from the window sitting inside my rajai and watching cricket. But a new dimension was added to my knowledge of cricket i.e watching the game on TV. I spend the next three-four months, what we know as the Australian summer, going through the same rituals, only that I was happy getting up now. While tea was forbidden for me at the age of 8, my mother would get me milk and add some tea in it so that I can taste it. As most Dhamdhere’s do, I developed an instant liking for it too. Those days of watching cricket sitting in the warmth of the rajai, sipping hot milk is an experience I’ll remember till the end.

The season also included the cricket world cup, one of the best in terms of format till date. While India’s performance in both the B&H world series and the world cup was poor, I enjoyed every bit of the watching on TV. The sad part though was that on weekdays I had to leave the day matches in the middle to go to school and miss the first innings of day night matches. I remember running like crazy from school to watch the India Pakistan match in the world cup. I missed India’s innings but the Pakistan innings was the real punch of the match.

Matches in Australia have given a different meaning to television viewing. Channel nine is far more superior to any other broadcasters of cricket matches around the world. ESPN-Star come second followed by Doordarshan and Sony. Oh sorry shouldn’t include Sony in this list they know nothing about cricket, I don’t know why they bother to present important tournaments such as the world cup. But watching matches in Australia is an experience in itself. You don’t have to waste day time to watch the match, your mom can’t scold you for getting up early and she won’t ask you to take a bath and do the daily chores. I have mostly liked watching cricket matches alone, or atleast without too much chit chatting going on. And I hate it when there is a ball by ball analysis of the game by people around me. I like to just sit there watch, observe and learn. And the Oz tours are the perfect bet for that because a less interested soul will not take the pains of getting up so early.

Apart from these things and the obvious difference in picture quality, the unmistakable beauty of Australian grounds is visual treat. The stands are not as packed as in India, but they are well populated and genuinely keen on the cricket. Somehow I have felt that the Indian team looks much smarter in Australia, be it there outfits or their general presence. Of course the Indian batsmen don’t look too smart, and the bowlers have a tough time as well. Barring the last tour to Australia, Indian bowlers only get to bowl once in a test match so they don’t have much chance of impressing either. To add to this picture is the excellent commentary. The Bill Lawry’s and the Benaud’s, Greig’s and add to that the Indian masala of Bhogle and Gavaskar. It’s a great component in the entire experience.

There is a lot of talk again as India head to Australia to play a test series followed by the World Series. What will be the result? From a broad level perspective its easy to say that India will lose the test series and have a good chance of pipping out Sri Lanka to enter and lose the finals to Australia. But as a cricket optimist and lover of the Indian team, I hope for much better results. The biggest threat with this series is the potential exit of Rahul Dravid from both forms of the game. I think if he doesn’t do well in the first two or three tests he will bid good bye to both forms of the game in the fourth test. If he does really well, and that’s not asking for too much from a player of his calibre and pulsar (ganda of the year), he might find a way back to the one day team. The rest of the team basically pick themselves both for the tests and one dayers. I know the Yuvi problem exists, but unless Kumble is thinking of playing Sehwag, I think its ok if Yuvi sits out for the big four. Sehwag has got an absolutely unwarranted call back for that one destructive innings he is capable of playing. I can’t understand how much difference one big innings is going to make to India’s cause. I hope Dinesh Karthik gets one final chance to prove that he is worth it. The bowling lacks penetration and it will be too much to expect Kumble to take 5 wickets in an innings too many times.

So as days close in on the all important boxing day, I start my preparations as well. Setting up the bed in front of the TV so that I can enjoy the matches just as I did in 1991-92. India lost the five test series 4-0 then, hope this time is much better.

Hawk Eye

2007-12-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

The Jamia cricket ground is the very best in the national capital region. Although devoid of flashy stands, scoreboards, tv screens et al, the ground has everything good cricket grounds around the world should have - green outfield, long boundaries and a one paced wicket. It was the first time I was playing on this ground, which hosts many of Delhi’s Ranji matches. I have been to the Kotla, unfortunately not to play, but no less fortunately to watch. The Kotla ground is about 15-20% smaller than this one, or atleast was before its recent renovation. But it could not have gotten bigger than this one by any means.

The match was a good one, we lost by 5 runs but it was good, enjoyable and challenging cricket. I went in to bat with 24 needed of 10, but the big ground got the better of me as I could get only one boundary and in the end it was just a tad too much. But I felt good about having tried hard, despite some poor show by some team mates.

On my way back to gurgaon, my cab got punctured and I and the other six team mates boarding the cab were stuck. As we waited for a cab reinforcement to arrive, I slid myself into an interesting conversation. The starting piece of the conversation/debate where I joined was one of my team mates capturing how Sachin Tendulkar had won a match for India even after Azharuddin and Jadeja had allegedly fixed it. According to him and the ‘legend’, Anshuman Gaekwad, the then coach, told Sachin that the match has been already fixed and the little master promised that he will get the match back.

There are two things about my character that come out during discussions and debates. One, a strong desire of playing devil’s advocate, and a second slightly complimenting trait of not believing in such super hero stories as the one mentioned by my friend. Every one pictures Sachin as the god today. Sure he is an umatched talent, one that the country will not see again, but his talent and skill is the only thing that has performed 100 percent in his career. His perseverance and application has been short of 100 many times. That is by no means to say that Sachin fixed matches, but I believe he should not be naturally assumed to be the good guy when there is controversy and allegations surrounding others.

Why would Sachin fix matches anyways? This was a response from one of the participants of this conversation. “He has so much money and admiration already why would he do it”. By venturing to answer that question, two points come up in my mind for deliberation. Firstly when was the last time a man realised that he has now earned enough money that he doesn’t need to earn anymore? I don’t think such people exist or ever existed for that matter. It’s unlike human nature to give up on luxury and comfort. The second point is what else could make someone fix matches. While there is only one obvious reason that comes to mind, it is only natural to believe that this reason will apply more to Azharuddin rather than Sachin or Jadeja.

Someone then actually remarked what if the D guy was involved in forcing these people somehow to throw matches. That Azharuddin had relations with some conspicuous people related to the underworld has been in public knowledge. But is it only money that could have forced him to throw matches, if at all he did. Azharuddin may have had a liking for swiss watches but he couldn’t throw matches. I have been watching cricket for 18 years now and I think I can tell who is going wrong where. To my knowledge Azhar never fixed matches on the field. There could have been something off it, like the Shane Warne and Mark Waugh incident where they sold insider information about team composition and pitch condition; I can never say anything about that. But on field I never felt and still believe Azhar never threw matches.

And Jadeja, well I would believe for a moment that Sachin, Sehwag, Mongia could have fixed matches but not Jadeja, and don’t get me started on Saurav Dada Ganguly, for he is virtually the other D in cricket. Sachin owes a lot of his success to Jadeja and Robin Singh because these were the two people who were winning matches for India during that period between 1996 and 1999. While Sachin was ofcourse getting runs at the top, these guys were finishing off matches in ways Sachin dreams of when he goes to bed. Add to that the fact that Jadeja was the icon of fielding in India along with Azhar and Robin Singh. But oops Tendlya wasn’t doing well in that department.

As 1999 approached towards an end there was a strong feeling that Azhar might soon quit captaincy. He was not very much in form either with the bat. So the crown of captaincy would have to go to Jadeja, the then vice captain. But somehow it didn’t settle well with some people. The match fixing saga thus unfolded, putting Jadeja, Azhar and Mongia out of the game. Sachin’s friction with Nayan Mongia was well known and when Sachin would be captain it would have been difficult to have him in a key position like the wicket keeper. Somehow Samir Dighe who ‘accidently’ belonged to Mumbai was drafted in the team, after MSK Prasad’s pilot project was over. No offence to both these gentlemen but they were dwarfs in comparison to Mongia even in terms of batting ability.

Azhar was handed a life ban by the BCCI. Ajay Jadeja and Mongia were reprimanded for 5 years. Jadeja appealed to the court and won the case, and it was only a small matter of four years. Mongia was later exonerated by the BCCI and brought back in the team, only to point fingers at him because he walked a caught behind decision in a test match at Mumbai against Australia. This for a man who kept wickets with a broken nose at Kolkata during that Very Very Special Test win for India. When Sachin Tendulkar made 136 runs with a back ache against Pakistan at Chennai, it was a monumental effort. And the effort took centre stage rather than the fact that India couldn’t win the test match.

With Azhar and Jadeja out of the team, India was in severe dearth of leadership. The ‘aaila go get it’ boy was no good for the top job. But he took the job, only to relinquish it quickly in 2000. The decision was baffling at first sight, but a good one taken keeping the longer run in mind. Saurav was made the captain. But this time, it was important to check anyone from threatening to take leadership of the team until Saurav was ready to let go (i.e never) or Sachin was ready for another time. The obvious victim was then asked to do the dirty work. But this guy was too good for Sachin and Saurav. He was asked to open the innings, he looked uncomfortable but applied himself and succeeded. He was asked to keep wickets in one dayers, he looked stupid, but applied himself and shouldered the march to the WC finals. Then this man entered his purple patch, perhaps more purple than even Sachin had seen in terms of sheer number of runs. The tours of England and Australia stamped the mark of this guy as the best Indian batsman. But when his chance to take up captaincy came, people were reluctant to vacate the position. But Dravid had to get there one day and he did, and with that started a whole era of Indian cricket albeit 3 year long. I will touch upon that someday, but watching the 2007 WC matches I feel like asking people who is throwing matches now?

Somewhere in my conversation with team mates, the point on BCCI’s role came up. Make no mistake this organization is hand in glove with every cricketer. Yes every single cricketer. I guess the famous lines of the movie Anand go well with BCCI. You can easily imagine Dravid telling Dhoni – ‘hum sab rang manch ki katputliyan hain, jiski dor BCCI ke haath me hai, kab kaun kaise uth jayega ye koi nahi janta…ha ha ha ha ha’. But I feel BCCI is a few steps even further. As someone pointed out in the discussion, if tomorrow it were proved that Sachin is involved in any sort of malice, the entire cricket in the nation will halt. No one would want to watch cricket. Aha! That means BCCI will not be able to mint money which they are doing so easily right now. So is there a chance that BCCI may have been covering up for Sachin. Of course as much as I stood by Azhar and Jadeja on the basis of my knowledge of cricket, I will stand by Sachin as well. He never threw matches. All I want to say is that even if he was involved in a blip off the field BCCI will make sure it doesn’t get public. Ganguly also had his uncle running the BCCI for most of the time he was playing.

As the discussion went to the other side of a half hour, people started to virtually shout at me for defending Azhar and Jadeja and suspecting Sachin. The tension was broken by the news that after having waited for an hour there would still not be any cab reinforcements. We decided to take an Auto and leave for our respective places. On the way a discussion of Taslima Nasreen’s books ensued, about Islam and its practices. But all that is not or can not be related to my blog, so I will leave that for the wise.

P.S. – In the 1998-99 tour of New Zealand when Anshuman Gaekwad was the coach. India lost the test series 0-1. Azharuddin had the 2^nd highest average after Dravid. The one day series ended 2-2 with one match rained off. Mongia had the 2^nd highest average with one match winning knock (I till remember that match). Dravid again topping averages, with Azhar and Jadeja ranked 4 and 5 respectively. Sachin Tendulkar averaged 18.25 in 4 matches ranked 8 in averages above Nikhil Chopra averaging 16. I know numbers don’t reveal much, but then again nothing really does.

dancing down the track !!!

2007-11-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

Fun is a very complicated word. Often used loosely to mean enjoyment without really sending a definite objective message. There are times when you just have fun, and then there are others when you want to have fun and there are some others when you are trying to have fun. I like the first one better, because it’s so difficult for me to psyche myself up to have fun.

Having seen most of the movies made in India I am pretty much smitten by the music bug and none less by the desire to shake a leg. When I was young I used to lock the room which had the speakers of our small time stereo and danced like anything. I used to be very secretive about it and never wanted anyone to know. I didn’t really have a passion for dancing or music for that matter. But it felt nice to do the brake dance, especially the danger zone song which was on one of the duplicate cassettes my dad had bought. It was a great feeling, but somewhere I stopped doing it. From class 9 to 12 I hardly danced either alone or at public gatherings.

Then I came to IIT and dancing again had the same meaning was again equidistant from the real definition of the word. We used to have birthday parties in the first year at a common place in the hostel and after the requisite ass bumping we would get down to dirty dancing if I may. This was dance in its cheapest yet the most invaluable form. You can get a bunch of guys to do bharatnatyam but to dance the way we did it really needs plain and simple freedom of expression. I danced a lot through those five years and the last time was in the fifth year dancing with juniors on winning some of the coveted trophies in that year.

In the last two weeks I was in three parties, which revolved quite a lot around dancing. The first was a pre marriage party by a senior, who I barely knew. He had invited me to his house where there was going to be a ‘party’. I knew there would be alcohol so I was trying to prepare myself for interacting with some drunkards. Of course it was a dance party so you have to dance. You know think about it you enter a party after riding the bike at 1am in the night, and you know dilli ki sardi, and straight away you are on the dance floor. It’s bad enough for me to be surrounded by inebriated people asking me to dance. But it gets tough you know when people sitting around include the parents and relatives of the groom. I just can’t do it. So there I was, trying to have fun. It doesn’t work.

Next up, there was an office party for the promotions of some of our team members, including yours truly. Now this may sound like a weird construction, but I hate such parties. I mean I like going for dinner to celebrate, but alcohol and dancing in a pub is not really on my list. But that’s exactly what it was planned to be. Since I was not paying for it I was able to at least be sporting enough in planning the party. I went to the party and just didn’t feel like dancing. Fortunately I had a sour throat a slightly abnormal temperature so I bailed myself out of the dancing pool. I sat outside alone, one of my favourite pass times, and was eagerly waiting for dinner to start. Some of my friends forced me to come and dance and that’s when you don’t know what to do. Please anyone of you reading this post, who might have the time of posting a comment please tell me what do you do in such a situation? If you don’t agree to dancing after repeated persuasion you are not a sport and you disrupt the party, and if you do agree then you are tagged ‘ye saala bohot bhaav khata hai’. I am tired of hearing these remarks, I guess the best thing to do is do nothing and let people blabber whatever they want to. Who cares? So there I was, wanting to have fun, but couldn’t. I think I put a very heavy price on fun and enjoyment. I can not just go to a pub and start dancing, I need some occasion or some sense of achievement to groove.

The weekend was great. I went to my cousins wedding and I got to meet my relatives. Most of my uncles and aunts both paternal and maternal, have spent their childhood in Jhansi and know each other very well. That way we are a lot more closely knit than an average Indian clan. So it’s always great to catch up with cousins and actually their sons. Wow time passed by so quickly. The wedding was wonderful, atleast by Jhansi standards. There was a DJ, well if you would like to call him that! But he was playing songs from some CDs and starting and finishing them as if it were a game of musical chairs. But fun was in the air. I stepped on the dance floor and with catchy bollywood numbers, in no time the dance floor was full with people. The cameraman asked me a couple of times to move because I was hogging the camera, you know the wedding was for someone else hehe. But that didn’t stop me and after the cameramen had had their shoot, we went back to the dance floor only to pull the crowd back to watch us. It was only us cousins but it felt as if I was in IIT again. The dancing had the same meaning or lack of it. I think for the first time I danced with my sister, who like me is not a special dancer but likes to dance. I had such a great time dancing, and I am sure my sister did too in the little time she got away from Zui, her barely two month old. I in fact didn’t feel like stopping, but some of us dropped a bit of steam and it was definitely leaked by the man changing CDs (I wont call him a DJ). But there I was having fun, that easy. I never realised that I had shed any inhibition of dancing with people in front of people.

I was just dancing. I mean you don’t step out to every ball you face do you. You see a flighted ball judge the length in the air and then dance down the track to meet the ball on the full or at worst a half-volley. And when that happens, it's absolutely Mauja hi Mauja !!!

WALK

2007-11-15T13:41:00.000-08:00

My face has never had a harami sort of look. Not an obvious one atleast. Neither do I have a cunning smile or a mischevious one. The first impression people get about me is that I am a nice person, devoid of any kind of cleverness or pranks. Well I don’t really know if they are right (smile). But my face is the best representation of my innerself. It does not hide anything and sends across all possible things inside as much as it can.

Having been bred in a middle class high traditional value background, I have been served the idea of honesty and morality at lunch and dinner. My mother once or actually 2-3 times burnt my hand with a hot chimta when I lied. Knowing how much she loves me it is impossible to understand what pushed her to dish out such severe atrocity on me, her son. My punishments used to range from being slapped without the permission to cry to being asked to stand on the terrace in the hot sun without any footwear. Hunters were out of fashion by that time and my mother seldom used an external source to hurt me. How pain helped me grow individually is really the irony of life.

I have been afraid of lying since I was a child. Though as a child I wanted to lie but couldn’t. But as I grew up I hated lying, mainly because I was very poor at it. I have always tried to be honest, as honest as I can ofcourse, but I avoid hiding things as much as I can. I have truly internalised that habit in whatever I have done – sports, studies, relations with people and also in my professional experience.

And when it comes specifically to playing cricket I hated cheating and I hated cheaters. I used to be on the receiving end all the time when I was 10-11 playing with kids in the colony park. I used to win mostly and the other guys used to intentionally hide the ball in some bushes when it got dark pretending that they didn’t find it. I always knew that they would turn up later in the evening to find the ball, but I played along. I was surprised to see what people could do to win, even surprised to see what they were trying to win.

I would say that I maintained an image of being a person with high moral standards in college. Not in the sense of being right or wrong, but that I stuck to what I believed and I never made any secret of it. Being a true, dependable and honest sort of a guy was not by choice, this was because of how I was prepared. But if you leave some grass on the pitch you can’t complain that it doesn’t turn. This morality and honesty had its downsides. But I always knew that they were not worth giving up on my belief. In my adult life so far, I have been accused, even looked down upon for being honest, “technically correct” if I may, because it never helps the scoring rate (pun intended). So much so that I thought it would be a nice idea to put honesty as a weakness in my resume. I am not kidding I actually thought that. But people told me that won’t take me anywhere either.

The fact of the matter is that truth and deceit are just two qualities and no one can claim to have 100% of either. Everyone judges on which side of this line between truth and deceit one wants to stand according to the need of the hour. But when it comes to cricket I will always be on one side of that line. Others may not see what I am trying to win. Beating others is fun and exciting, but beating yourself is a different high all together. When you compete with yourself its like one of those C++ commands – i=i+1, you can grow constantly and do not have to rely on the standards set by others.

As a batsman I have had much lesser opportunities than as a bowler, and being a tail ender I have faced very comprehensive dismissals. But the one or two close calls I have had I have always walked, I hope. I remember walking an lbw decision, oh I was plumb! As a bowler I have mostly been the umpire’s favourite, because even though I used to hit the batsman’s pads more often than anyone else with my in swing, I only appealed when I was pretty sure I had my man.

I think having a decided rule for yourself to follow makes the life easier, and isn’t that what we are all trying to do. It’s a difficult road, but that’s how it looks from the outside. When you are doing something you think is right, it comes naturally to you and you don’t have to struggle, not a lot anyhow.

White Lightning

2007-11-01T13:48:00.000-07:00

If cricket is education, the TV has been my teacher. I can not clearly recall whether I first held a bat in my hand or saw a match on TV. It must have been the former in all probability though as I do remember having had a plastic bat while the first match I saw was probably India vs. West Indies in 1990 when I was seven years old. Needless to say the game grew on me since then.

One of the downsides of watching cricket on TV, at least for me, was that I was so overwhelmed by the mastery of the players playing on TV that it inhibited my instinctive talent. Even though India did not have a rip-off fast bowler in those times, I somehow got hooked up to fast bowling. Of course I developed a legitimate bowling action (read: non-batta (eeta, chuck, throw)) only by age 7 or 8 and by then the TV had taken over me. The first time I send down the legitimate bowl I copied a bowling action. Not sure if it was Ambrose or Marshall, but that was how it started. In an effort to emulate such great bowlers I ended up copying their bowling actions. As a kid you only know that you need to bowl fast and hit the stumps. Line and length were not part of the thinking process.

Through the early days I had spells of being fascinated by a particular bowling action. Starting from Ambrose, McDermott and after the world cup in 1992, Aaquib Javed. These were very short phases though. My first real stint with a particular bowling action was Dany Morrison. I loved his bowling. He was all of 5 feet and 8 inches and sent down bullets. Then came the more my capacity phase of Heath Streak and by class 7 or 8 it was Damien Fleming.

As I came to class 9 we started playing inter class matches with the leather ball. Desparate as I was to get in the team, I decided that I had to do something special. I thought to myself who has the most beautiful and successful bowling action around. Since I was right handed, a fact I regret sometimes because it stopped me from copying the best of them all you know who. I settled for the then best right hander. With sunscreen around his lips, a little on the tip of his nose and the ability to swing the ball both sides at pace Allan Donald both looked dangerous and bowled dangerous.

I started with some success in class 9 and 10 with his bowling action becoming the best bowler in my class. Come class 11 things were different, I was in the science section which was supposed to be made up of geeks. We played one of the commerce sections and I got michelle. It was my first time. Michelle again is an Australian slang for five wickets, which they used call fifer and then after the actress michelle phifers name they started calling it michelle. We beat the commerce section in that match and in the next revenge match as well. In the second game I dismissed the captain of the school team with a slower delivery. He was so foxed that he invited me to play for the school team. That didn’t materialize though, but I was one of the best bowlers in my school for two years straight.

Then I came to IIT. The Donald action was with me, and I tried to bring it to life again. It had died by then. Something killed it. The only chance I got to play in 1^st year at IIT I was given an old ball and only two overs. The two overs went for 12 runs. I knew that Donald had to go. It was now time to graduate to a more adjustable bowling action. An action that made me more famous than my actual bowling skill initially. Since then which ever team I have played for, Kara, IIT, Evalueserve I have been referred to as ‘hamara McGrath’. Things that are exterior to you have a shelf life, they work for you for sometime and then they don’t anymore. You have got to be innovative all the time in life to stay ahead. It is hard to give up on things that brought you success, but being inventive is important to survive. On the other hand, internal facets are much more concrete and pretty much live and die with you. And you don’t copy these facets from other people because these are things which truly define you.

How much impressions have impacted my life is probably apparent in whatever I do. Simple mannerisms that I have are inherited from people around me. Like those who have closely observed me would know that I rub my eyes ever so often. That’s my dad’s. Whatever acting skills I have are mainly imitations and mimicries of other people, I am grossly incapable of exhibiting emotions on my own. I have found it hard to deliver a style of my own in every field. But then again that probably is my style and I kind of like it. What fun is it to be the same guy for all years anyway? I am so happy that I imitate anything and with the grace of my parents have the sensibility to take the good and leave out the bad. Not many people, I believe, are born with that gift.

You know, one day I marked my run up and did a bit of free-your-mind exercise. I thought lets try to see what bowling action comes out naturally. I got nothing. It made me realize how the bowling action is an exterior quality, a manifestation of what I have learnt from people around me. But the ability to copy and absorb impressions is an internal facet, that’s not something I learnt from someone else.

Bottom line - no matter how hard you try to be someone else you can never succeed. What you are you always will be, its up to you to acknowledge it and appreciate.

Fingers pointing up!

2007-10-13T11:58:00.000-07:00

Flamboyance has been one quality that I have always wanted to have (among many others of course). But there was a time when I was flashy and quite the leader of the pack. Here I am talking about the time when I was in class 4 or 5 and there were only 17 students in my class and ofcourse my mother was a teacher at the small school. But I clearly remember, whenever we used to get a chance to go to the field, as soon as we entered the nearby park I used to run away from everyone and all my class mates would try to catch me. I used to love those moments of kingship and I am not kidding here. The rest of the 16 would chase me around and finally hunt me down so that we could play some normal game, which again I used to decide.

That ‘kingship’ deserted me as soon as I came out of that small school and it never came back after class 5. The last time I came first in class was in class 5, never ever again. I never even got the highest marks in a specific subject. The reason I got in to thinking about those times was not nostalgia. I am trying to write essays to support my application for an MBA program. The essential highlight of an essay is how it depicts that you are a potential leader for the future and this is the perfect time for you to develop classroom knowledge on how to be a successful leader or manager. I tried time and again to look back in life and think of instances where I showed leadership qualities and everyone actually respected my decision making. The sheer dearth of such examples made me feel that one of the important things I have missing is flamboyance.

Since I am not a prodigy nor naturally talented in any aspect of life, I have had to fight and work hard slowly towards excelling in any field, even the cricket field. My method of learning and developing is generally orthodox, laborious and as a result time consuming. I will generally take more time than an average peer to achieve the same feet. The reason is that my methods are simpler and low risk, which ensures some success but that can take a lot of time. My only major leadership role was being the captain of IIT Delhi cricket team. But even there I had a tough time, where sometimes I thought I lacked the support of my team, and the team did not agree with my decisions. However, I put my foot down and did what I thought was right, even though there was very little support I had.

My lack of flamboyance is reflected directly in the way I play cricket. I am a fast bowler with a maximum speed of probably 125k. I never had a bouncer; I never said things to the batsmen apart from a little eye contact. I can count the number of sixes I hit without even using my fingers as I hit only one. I never dived around in the field, no acrobatic athleticism for me. Yet I played a lot of cricket, because I did what I did best – swing the ball late, invite the drive and go through the gate or pitch it up at the death.

Even when I interact with people I am not noticeable so easily, apart from my tall structure there is very few things people notice. I am always in the background, but slowly with time I surface and people start recognizing me. I don’t yell at people, though yelling is actually an easy way of attracting attention. I am calm and quiet and as a leader I let people do what they think they can do well. I don’t push people instantly, I try to drive them to a point where they have no other choice but to push themselves, no matter how much time it takes.

All things said and done, the signs are that I might not be ready yet to become a manager. Maybe I need more time, may be I don’t. I see others around me becoming managers, big time successful professionals, but I know that my success will make me wait. Often this wait has made me indifferent to success and I have stopped enjoying the success with any sense of exultation or celebration.

Recently I was playing a corporate tournament cricket match where I held a catch on the long on boundary. The ball came at an awkward height near my chest and to adjust, I took the catch fingers pointing up rather than taking a few steps backwards and holding it in the orthodox and safer fashion. I immediately realized that this is not something I am comfortable with. It is probably not my forte to come forward, I will always stay back and take the safer route.

One's that are very important

2007-09-29T14:56:00.000-07:00

Vakratund mahakaya, suryakoti samaprabha, nirvighnam kurmedevo sarvkaryeshu sarvada

For a long time now I have been thinking of writing a post on a caricature. I think the first of such attempts has to be one person that I have inherited much of what I am today from. My grandfather Ganpati Dhamdhere or as we all called him Anna.

I am the youngest amongst all the cousins, so you would think that I would have been my grandfather’s favourite. But as anna had three sons, he used to spend his time separately with the three sons and least of it with us as we lived in Delhi and he liked to stay in his home at Jhansi. When my father moved out of his parental house he went to faridabad and later shifted to Bombay when I was born. We lived in this small place called koliwada which is apparently famous for bhaigiri. Whenever I used to see anna he used to call me ‘koliwade ka dada’ and never understood what that meant. But I took it as a compliment.

Anna was a quiet gentlemanly character, who did not have a big say in the family even though he was the eldest son. His father was a dominating influence till he was alive and he held full control of the family even the bringing up of anna’s sons (my father and uncles). But anna never retaliated and played along. His influence on my father was probably as much as my great grandfather or maybe less from the surface. But his tacit presence in my father and then in me have made both us good individuals. His calm and composed behaviour is something people complement me for a lot.

In his last days he started losing a lot of his senses, but the one thing he didn’t lose was sensibility. He knew that he was not in a good shape and would let you take decisions for him so that you could feel good. He praised everyone for almost everything. I remember in 1997 when Atal Behari Vajpaye came into power he was very very excited. Vajpayee was a one time mate of anna’s. But till then he had lost a lot of his hearing, sight and ability to comprehend. I made arrangements for him so that he could sit in front of the tv and watch the oath taking ceremony. But the long rituals of the ceremony were too much to bear for the old man and he got tired and asked me to put him to bed again as he couldn’t sit anymore. I was happy that I could do something for him. Can never forget that moment, it still fills me with a feeling as if I won the world cup.

Towards the very end anna was bed ridden for almost 4-5 months. He was in a very bad condition and there were no signs of progress. He could barely recognize us, atleast the grandsons. I can’t even imagine how my father would have felt when he would not have recognized my father. As a 14 year old I could not stand to see a man is such a condition. Nobody could, and everyone knew that it was about time, but the amount of pain he was going through was frightening. But even then, the last time I talked to him he hisked in sound that meant I don’t know what you are talking about but god bless you. In December 1997, my father took us to vaishno devi for the first time. In January 1998 anna passed away.

If my father went there to make a wish, I think god might just have answered it. A man who never troubled anybody should not have had to go through such painful final moments. Anna will always remind me that humility and grace is the way of life. He was a true number 11 (hard working and committed) like I am and I am proud of it.

Today I feel bad about how little I could do for him. But the real difficult part is to realise that its all in the past and I have to look forward and try and learn from him to become a better person.

A Hit , and lots of Giggles

2007-09-27T12:43:00.000-07:00

However small that number be, but there are people who like to read my posts. The thing that they like the most about my post is the very personal connection I present. But today’s post is not well thought out. This is a direct dedication to the Indian team for it memorable performance at the T20 championship. I feel proud whenever I tell someone that we are the world champions.

Where has this team been? Where has this zest for performing well been? I beg to disagree that this is a change that came overnight. MS Dhoni might have very few fans who adore him as much as I do, but I don’t think that his captaincy has changed the entire perspective of Indian players. There is something else to this mystery, leads of which can be found from Rahul Dravid’s early resignation. But this team looked like they were playing cricket. They wanted to score runs, take wickets, field well and win the game. It sounds so simple, but if followed it actually is that simple. Somehow we have managed to overlook the simple things and tried the more difficult ones in the past.

Yuvraj Singh’s amazing batting was a testimony to what loads of people have been saying so far. I remember Greg Chappel said in his last days as the coach, that Yuvraj himself doesn’t realise that potentially he is the best in the world. He proved that he has the talent. People keep talking about Kevin Pieterson,. But I think he has been just hyped, he is a normal batsman who can hit the ball a long way.

It was a tournament where everyone contributed. Save for Piyush Chawla, everyone got a game and everyone left a mark. Gambhir, RP, Irfan, Dhoni, Bhajji, Sehwag and even Sreesanth, if we are talking about leaving a mark. Jogi bowled two pressure overs and took important catches, Utthapa got a fifty and fielded briliiantly, Karthik took that stunner to get rid of Smith, Yusuf pathan, scored 15 good runs, bowled one good over and took a catch, Agarkar err….

But forget about the individual performances, if you look at the pictures of the team’s celebrations it just makes you so proud that you love this game. Everyone is jumping on each other, there are no bars to consider. Everyone can fearlessly say and express themselves, no protocol has to be obeyed. I think not having a coach helped, and with Dhoni I don’t think we need a head coach. He has a sense of direction and India will do well if we have only one director.

The sad thing though is that this win has come a little late in the day. I think the game is making its way down. The game is dying. Had such a victory come 10 years ago, I would have spent the night burning crackers, and dancing on the street. This time it was just high fives with friends and then coming to the balcony expecting some fireworks. But there were almost no firecrackers. Ofcourse there would have been celebrations across India at other places. But it has really cracked down a bit. The celebrations there would have been this time would not compare with the celebrations when India beat Pakistan at Bangalore in 1996.

I think the clock has started ticking backwards. The game is getting shorter. I am all in favour of having 20-20. But the reason why I support it is that I myself don’t have that much time. If people like me will come to accept shorter versions of the game, then that’s pretty much the end of it. But till it’s on, the battle is on. The fun is endearing and the lessons to learn remain the same. And to top it all we are the first world champions. History books will always say that

Hit and Giggles

2007-09-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

While there are times when achieving something is very difficult, there are times when it becomes ridiculously simple. Or so you believe at first. However, there is always an apprehension to comprehend the simplicity of the process of achieving something.

I recently got a chance to go abroad (Chile) to work at an international office location for my company. Everything about the opportunity seemed perfect. The responsibility would have required me to coach and groom a team of analysts (around 4 to 5). I would have had to handle projects from end to end with entire responsibility falling on my shoulders. And most of all, the international experience tag would have put four moons on my resume. All I had to do was say yes!

Well, I did say yes, but every time and to every person I said yes with a disclaimer that ‘it won’t break my heart if I don’t get this opportunity’. The point I am trying to make is that when I get something served on a platter such as this, I try to shield myself from losing even the given by telling myself that I can live without it. That is not something ambition breeds on. That is not what you call proactive approach towards success be it in any field. You have to put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable to be able to achieve it. I will always remember these words of Sunil Gavaskar – “when you are making your debut you will be nervous and it’s a good sign. It means that you care”.

Of course the opportunity did go down the drain, perhaps not because of my fault. But if I would have been more eager or at least showed the eagerness to the powers that be, I would not have let other problems come in my way. So while even though I cared, I was probably too proud to admit it. Or too weak to accept it and then be let down because of some other issues not in my control.

I think Ricky Ponting had the taste of this feeling recently. Australia came to the World T20 Championship as the world champions. But they were not sure if they would be world champions here as well. So they simply downplayed the whole idea of the tournament. It was great fun watching them go down to Zimbabwe. Ponting has quickly realised that either he needs to take the game seriously or give up totally. The plan of hanging in there pretending nothing is at stake seldom works.

the PERFECT 10

2007-09-15T16:12:00.000-07:00

Things don’t always go quite the way you want to. But it is possible sometimes that everything goes the wrong way. Especially things that you really want to come good, there are times they just go all wrong. But the real motivation of writing this post is not to enlist the problems going on in life. As I think of times when a lot is going wrong, I tried to recall the time when absolutely everything was right. Perfect if I may.

It was 7am on chilly February morning in 1999. I took bus no. 281 from outside my house expecting my friend Saurabh to join me in the same bus from Vivek Vihar, and he did. Next stop was to be Preet Vihar where we were joined by Naman. And the three of us started towards what was going to be quite simply the time of my life.

It all started a week before. Saurabh told me that the second India Pakistan test match is to be played at Ferozeshah Kotla. Having seen the dramatic, intense and mentally draining first test at Chennai, there was no needing a second invitation. However, watching a cricket match in the ground seemed like an impossible thing to me. So I just played along with guys subconsciously believing that we’ll never get the tickets. We went to the oriental bank branch in CP after school hours. There were lower rates for school kids and the ticket was worth 300. The general ticket was for 500. I spent two days trying to convince my mother to give me 300 bucks to see the game. She eventually gave me the money. When we reached the bank we were told that student lot tickets are finished. I felt low, but I was almost sure that it will not come through somehow. As we moved out of the bank a man approached us. He told us that he has tickets but he will let them go only for 500 bucks. We were class 11 students; very gullible and unfamiliar to the concept of black ticketing. Even then we managed to somehow convince this pimp to give us the ticket for 450. But there was a problem. We had set out to get three tickets with 900Rs on us and ended up buying only two in that amount. Saurabh somehow used his contacts to get a third ticket for 500. But the real problem was to tell my mother that now I had spent 450 instead of 300. Those were two tough nights.

The test match started on the 4^th of February but we could not go for the first day due to school. But finally 5 February came when we were entitled to bunk school by parents to go and see the match. We reached the Kotla ground pretty early. Saurabh and I had bought the ticket for the entire match, but the third ticket was to be shared between three people. So for day 2 of the test match it was Naman. Naman was a crazy fan of Sachin Tendulkar. In those days my favourite cricketer was the captain – M.Azharuddin and Anil Kumble. We were standing in queue to get inside when the cricketers’ buses arrived and my friend naman got a peak at his hero who had had his window slightly open. Naman went crazy, “yaar Sachin ko dekha maine, yaar sachi wala dekha yaar. Dhamdhere yaar me pagal ho jaunga yaar Sachin Tendulkar ko dekha maine” these were some of the expressions he used to express his joy. We were all pretty excited. We reached inside settled into the best seats in the ground. Well they were not really seats but more like the sitting arrangement in an OAT. This is a tip for someone going to watch a game with tickets of the section where there are no seat numbers – try your best to get behind the bowlers arm. From square on the game is not even half the fun.

On day 2 India were resuming their innings at something like 240 for 9 I think. The last wicket was left with Mongia and Prasad walking out to bat. They didn’t last for too long and India’s innings came to an ened at around 250. Then Pakistan came out to bat, India got them out for not too many. I think India got a lead of 30 odd runs in the first innings.

Day three was going to be India batting again, and this was going to be more fun. We were expecting to see the best Indian batsmen at that time to fire and show us some class. Azharuddin (my favourite), Dravid, Sachin and Laxman all failed. But one boy stood his ground like he was born to make it big one day. He probably never made it bigger than that day. But on that particular day Sadagoppan Ramesh showed how the might of Akram and Waqar can be made to look spells of lesser mortals for once. Ramesh played an absolute beaty. Only bowler who troubled him a little was Saqlain who himself has a terrific game. Finally Ramesh got out for 96. He stood there startled, he actually stood still for a good 10 seconds before it struck him that he was out and could not get a well deserved hundred. Probably he himself knew it more than anyone else that he came so close but ended up so far.

Dada Ganguly and another non batsman, Srinath, then put on a partnership that saw India take a lead in excess of 400. Srinath was also very much a favourite for me, and it was sad to see him get out for 49. Ganguly hit two sixes that came in our direction and maybe me might have been seen on TV for the brief moment. Eventually India got bowled out and set Pakistan a target of 420 to get in the fourth innings, the highest ever if Pakistan would chase it.

The fourth day was actually when India finished there innings, early in the morning just like on day 2. I had to go to my coaching class in the evening, but told my parents that the match will go on till 5.30 so I’ll miss it. I don’t know what they said in reply. The Pakistan innings started with a flourish, something you associate with Saeed Anwar and Shahid Afridi. The two just took the bowling to all corners. Anil Kumble was bowling from the Pavilion end in the morning. At lunch Pakistan were a 101 for no loss, with 5 sessions to play. We feared the worst.

What happened after lunch is pretty much documented ball by ball in many cricketing gospels. So much has been said about the decisions of AV Jayaprakash the Indian umpire in the match. But still let’s go through it one by one.

Shahid Afridi – caught behind by mongia. From mongia’s reaction it looked a very obvious nick. Ofcourse keepers breed on those histrionics. But Kumble went up straight away and so did the finger. It was most probably out.
Ijaz Ahmed – Struck in line and Kumble doesn’t spin the ball. It was a skidder and very adjacent. Out was my call.
Yousuf Youhana (the then) – plumb in front, no doubt in anyone’s mind.
Inzamam – A big one, chopped on to the stumps. The flipper I would think no answer to it.
Saeed Anwar – the really big one, two noises, pad first and then glove, simple catch at short point.
Salim Mallik – he put on a partnership with Akram, but it was starting to feel that we will win. The flipper did him to as he tried to pull the ball thinking that it was short but it ran through to hit the top of the bails.
Moin Khan – BEAUTY! Classic leg spinner’s dismissal. Pitched on middle and leg. Spun, would you believe it, took the glove and looped for a simple catch for even a non fielder like Ganguly. This was the time we started to hope for the unachievable. Or so it seemed till then.
Saqlain Mushtaq – Unlucky man, he got a ripper first up, that he dug out almost like a Yorker. But to his misfortune the next one was quicker and caught him half forward. Not only would the ball have hit the middle stump, it would have gone for a walk with it. Nerves piling now, the match was in the kitty but still there was so much tension. Can he do it?
Mushtaq Ahmed – I think he was also held at slip, not sure. But now the pressure was so huge

Javagal Srinath came to bowl the over from the other end to Waqar Younis. All six ball were spot on, wide enough that waqar couldn’t lay bat on it, but not called wide. It was one of the most beautiful periods of test cricket in my recollection. It made me understand that in ateam game like cricket you owe so much to your teammates.

Wasim Akram – I was numb for a moment. As Laxman turned around to take a simple catch at short leg, the ground erupted. I don’t know if many of you know the meaning of erupted. No one could belive what they had just seen. The entire Pakistan batting line up cleaned up inside 2 sessions.and cleaned up by one man alone. Anil Kumble my hero from the times when he used spectacles on the field had done me proud, hell the whole country proud. Wasim Akram actually gave the impression that said “what has happened to this guy he just doesn’t want to stop” when he got out. All the players jumped and hugged the great man. We were dancing in the isles, actually that was when I realised what Tony Greig means by that phrase. It was a moment of great pride. Anil Kumble had taken the Perfect 10. All ten wickets in an innings.

We didn’t want to leave the ground. The players obliged by doing a lap of honour around the ground. I saw all the players from almost 10 metre distance. It feels like it must have been a dream. I still wonder if I was really there. Finally the time came when we had to leave. As we boarded the bus from outside Kotla, we were telling everyone in the bus that India had won and Kumble had taken all 10. There was so much happiness, such a sense of belonging that it felt worth to have told it to everyone. There were smiles all around in the bus, people doing high fives. It’s amazing how a game can connect so many people.

I soon realised that it was still just 4.30 and I could still catch my coaching class. And now I wanted to go and tell my friends there that I was there, I saw my hero take all ten wickets in an innings. The third day the third ticket with us was taken by Nitin Chadha, for all my passion and knowledge of the game, he was the one who told me that the feat had been achived some 40 years ago by a man called Jim Laker. Well it could not take anything away, it was happy moment. I don’t remember thinking about anything else for the next hour or so.

Later that evening when I reached home, I remember I was sitting on dinning table chair taking of my shoes. I must have had the pleasure and happiness in my eyes. My mother watched me take off my shoes, she didn’t ask anything. She just knew that I had had an experience I will never forget in my life. She then actually said that you enjoyed so much then it was worth a lot more than the Rs 450.

5-7 February 1999, probably goes down as the best time of my life. There was nothing to be sad. Nothing went wrong. I enjoyed every moment of it. Every single moment!

On Tour - 2/2

2007-08-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

The Taj Mahal’s designers had a great sense of magnanimity in overwhelming a visitor. From the point where the rickshaw dropped us, its almost a one km walk up to the main entrance. At the entrance we saw that there were different ticket rates for Indians and foreign nationals. Usually you just look at such information and go on, but we actually had someone with us who could qualify as US citizen. Our gujarati bhai harry. I asked teased harry a little saying that he should pay the 25$ that all foreigners were paying, but he being a typical Indian and a baniya was unperturbed. We went inside with Rs10 tickets for all five of us.
The sight of the Taj gets to you at first glance no matter how many times you have seen it. It’s a thing about the Taj that it doesn’t seem like its that big on TV but in reality it is huge. As most of us were gazing the beauty of the Taj, the little one among us was shell shocked. Harry actually had one of those pics taken of him holding the Taj from the top. He gave the photographer 100 bucks and he asked him to meet at the gate when we are finished seeing the Taj and he’ll give him the bill. We roamed around the Taj, got a guide as well who told us some interesting things as well. Once you enter the Taj that’s when you realise that there is not much really to see, but just absorb the finesse of the craftsmen who made it. We finished watching the Taj inside out got some photographs from the camera I told you earlier and came back to the main gate where the photographer had asked us to come.
As we came out we had sort of got separated, harry had gone looking for the photographer, some of us had gone to the loo. Then I spotted harry talking to a policeman, more of a constable as I made my way towards him the policeman had ended his conversation with harry and left. I inquired as to what it was all about and harry told me. Basically Harry is like 6feet tall, pretty healthy in those days, with moustache that resemble American convicts and he was wearing his Laker’s jacket which gave him an overall foreigner type look. So the policeman asked him where he was from. Harry told him that he was from India. I said then what. Harry said the policeman was not yet convinced so he asked him “acha batao India ka President kaun hai?”….and Harry said I replied with the masterstroke, I told him “its Atal Behari Vajpayee”. It’s difficult to find actual moments in life where your spine rather than just stomach aches due to laughter. The four of us can still feel the tinge in our spines from laughing so hard that day. Thankfully harry had met his match in the policeman or else we would have been sitting in the nearby thana for all we know.
We then went across to the Taj to have some food, it felt delicious although it was crap as we were hungry. Harry also bought a small Taj showpiece for all of 10 bucks, for which he was very excited too because for the first time he had bargained for something. And money saved it directly proportional to happiness for him. From there we headed to the Red fort as its almost a ritual to see both places. There is a saying that there exists an underground tunnel from the Agra Red fort to the Delhi Red fort, but no one has a clue where it starts. We though the guide might tell us a bit about it, but even he knew little apart from global fundas. By the time we had finished with the Red fort seeing we were pretty tired and roled out on the grassy lawns around the fort. There are some nice pictures of that lawn where we are relaxing. Reminds of a time when things were easy.
On our way back we were down to just four people as Sahu was to head to Jhansi. From Agra virtually every train going southwards goes to Jhansi so Sahu was away quickly. We were a little tired from the standing journey to Agra so we decided to get reserved seats on our way back. As I was standing in queue for reservation the teller guy told me to switch lines as there was a special line for Taj express. I switched lines waited for 20 minutes in the other queue and when my turn came the window closed out. I went back to the first queue demanding a reservation as I was in a queue where I could have got a ticket for Taj as well. The teller said something to me that I didn’t like. Nothing really nasty actually. But since we had time to spare we decided to take on the teller guy. We entered the reservation office I told the incharge that I want to register a complaint against the guys behaviour. I was just trying to unnerve the guy so that he says something more and my case becomes stronger. I kept arguing with him and the incharge and Zubin also slipped in. then Zubin was getting high on pitch. But then we decided that the train was about to come and we relented and told the guy that we are letting him off. We laughed a lot as soon as we came out of the office. Not because we were doing something out of the ordinary but because we had just had a fight for almost no reason.

After we boarded the train all of us were so exhausted that I don’t remember much of what happened after that. I remember sitting alone as the Taj has 3x3 seats so I got a seat on the other side. I must have been savoring the good times. Maybe just to write a blog one day. A great day it was and more so because it was not the way we had planned it to be, but maybe because it unfolded right in front of our eyes. I think the feeling of control and independence were the main outputs of that excursion. Or maybe it was just the day that brought us closer for years and years to come.

P.S. : This blog is not about Harsh Mehta neither any attempt to tarnish his image of the real stud boy of the group. Haven’t seen him in a long time but they say the baby has reduced the umber of pounds around him. Talk about ‘wonders of the world’.

On Tour

2007-08-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

It has really been a relentless two weeks for me now. I have had a lot of trouble at work, and I have this inkling that I might be on the verge of being pushed out of my work. I, however, think that all the trouble surrounding me has not been for much of my fault. But that just makes the situation worse in a funny sort of a way. Now I don’t even know what I have done wrong. Apart from the unrelenting burden of work I have been trying to put together an application for a masters course in the US. I have completed some stuff but a lot is still left to be done and as always I am running against time. As I was going through some old folders of mine trying to locate some documents I might need for my application, I stumbled upon this photo album. I had been searching for this album for quite a while now, and it almost came out of nowhere. Against the run of play if I may.

The photo album is from a trip to Agra, the Taj, I went with some of my friends in 2^nd year. It was just another trip actually, but as I sat down to visit those times again it filled me totally with a nostalgic emotion. Zubin, Andy, Sahu, Harry and I had decided in the late hours of a Friday that we will go to Agra. Much of the credit/discredit for making the trip possible has to go to Harry, but then again much of the credit for making the trip memorable also goes to him. In the wee hours of Saturday we left the hostel and reached H.Nzm railway station. Basically all trains going south or west generally go through Agra, so getting a train was not going to be a problem. But since we had gotten slightly late we decided to go aboard the Taj express itself.

Sahu, andy and I were relatively familiar with train journeys without reservations, so funnily enough we had no ‘reservations’ about it. I don’t know if Zubin had travelled in congested trains a lot but he sure would have in congested roadways buses so he was cool. But we realised that we were also carrying a 200 pound baby with us, harry, who had never seen a congested train let alone travel in one. So four of us were able to mould ourselves well in the jam packed compartment, but our baby had some initial trouble.

As the train slowly left the platform I remember telling myself that this was my first trip with friends in my life. Be it for just one day. So I was excited. Sahu was basically accompanying us as he was to move ahead to his place in Jhansi when we were done with Agra, so he was happy too. Zubin used to be very cheerful at all times then, Harro was as I said acting like a baby who is going to see the wonder of the world and just can’t wait to get there and Andy well he is never too excited about anything really.

During our journey to Agra, Sahu and I started discussing if Taj express was the best option…”abe Mangla se bhi ja sakte the”…”par fir 9 baje tak rukna padta, haan jagah mil jati usme”…blah bla blah. Andy is always short of words so he was quiet as ever. And then I heard the conversation between Zubin and Harry. As I said before Harro was coming across as kid, but it really felt like a grandfather and a grandson in conversation. Zubin was narrating the entire story of the Mahabharat to Harry, who listened in extreme excitement. My knowledge about Mahabharat is only as good as B.R.Chopra’s, but Zubin had done this whole thesis on it. But it was really lovely as we all listened carefully to the whole story starting from Shantanu till the end. It was really an amazing experience.

As we passed Mathura, standing virtually on one foot at a time, the congestion loosened up and we got to sit finally. We were a little tired and left the bakchodi for later in the day. We set foot on the Agra railway station and I was still feeling excited that I am on trip. We took an autorickshaw for 45 bucks from the station straight to Taj Mahaal (the extra ‘a’ for our firangi dost Harry).

Some really exciting stuff followed, I will talk about it soon in the next post.

Against the run of play - Part 2

2007-08-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

So let’s pick up from where I left last time. To summarize – lappy not working, GMAT screwed, fan in room not working and monetary crisis. My story was going from bad to worse. I was actually amused at the kind of stuff that was happening to me. The real blow came about a week ago.

I had been losing interest in most things and the biggest of them all was work. I was spending a large amount of my time in office in playing stickcricket (a really nice time pass by the way for all those who could never hit boundaries :P). I was not paying too much attention I suppose and maybe I stopped caring about my work a little. That day my manager confronted me one on one, politely though, and pointed out so many mistakes in my work and more unfortunatey the inconsistency in my approach to work. He was right by all means. I usually accept my mistake and go on, but that day I felt like I am not cut out to make it big you know. Lots of people believe that I have potential, but I guess they are wrong.

That night I talked to a couple of friends and inquired how they were doing. None of them sounded in as bad a shape as I was, but they still had their problems. That when it occurred to me that everyone might in fact be going through the same thing. Maybe at different points of time in life, and I realised that I was taking myself way to seriously. I told myself to get over myself.

It didn’t work though and I was still feeling low. But just as I was about to give in there was finally some good news. My laptop repairer told me that I will have to spend only 3000 to repair it albeit temporarily. I realised that an electrician shop is available at a 100m distance from my place. Ofcourse GMAT scores could not be revised, but then you can’t have everything life right?

All this was probably enough for me to forget that the time before was pretty bad. Although the time now was not really celebration like either. I had a match to play last Sunday. I woke up at 5 in the morning to be ready and on the ground on time. I reached my place in gurgaon and locked my car keys inside. The match was anyway cancelled as it was raining. So I basically had a 100km drive.

But today things really started to look up. I mean not that I cracked anything. We had a feedback from our clients and he was not satisfied. You would think that its another reason to go down the sad lane. But I didn’t. I was actually pretty happy as I generally am when I am criticised. Me and my team had a great laugh about it, but it felt as I was back. Back to that lovely place where I can laugh off a failure, and rest assured when I am in that place success also comes by to visit.

In the last month or so I have only been planning about what I am going to do the next day. I was really not in the mood to plan something as I thought that if the planning goes in the drain as a lot of stuff has been going lately, it will bother me even more. But now I guess I can come out of that shell and start to plan in to the future. I guess the important thing to learn at the end of all of this is that it is not the end of this. Such torrid times will come and go, you just have to get over yourself and look ahead.

Against the run of play - Part 1

2007-07-21T01:53:00.000-07:00

Some of you who periodically check this space to read my post would have been wondering where I have been for sometime now. Well to say it with an intended pun I was ‘offline’. Here is the story of a brief time window of my life where I was very frustrated.

2200 Hrs, 2 July 2007, My flat at Gurgaon
I came back from a normal day at the office. I had just put in a request for a 2-day leave in lieu of my GMAT exam. When I reached home I realised that our maid had not cooked any food and that we will have to contend with whatever we can make. Then I started my laptop or should I say tried to start my laptop. It wont budge. I tried different sockets to plug it in to charge the battery but there was no response. After an hour or so of toil I ceded that the computer is broken and my respect for a certain gentleman named Murphy was on a new high. I was supposed to take on simulation test before the GMAT on the laptop. However, I surprised myself by being enterprising enough to arrange to take the test at a friend’s place.

Approximately 1330 Hrs, 4 July 2007, PearsonVue Centre (GMAT Venue)
The score sheet just popped in front of my eyes. My worst fears had not come true, the result was even worse. I got 660 on the GMAT. After making it loud and clear to everybody that I am 750 material this is was a bit on the lower side. However, I collected my score report with the usual calm and composure that I show, weirdly in such turbulent circumstances. I came out feeling nothing. Well actually one thing, that I am just not good enough, full stop.

0930 Hrs, 6 July 2007, My flat in Gurgaon
It started like a pleasant morning, slightly cold. Then the power went off. My fan went off. Suddenly the power came back on. Unfortunately it lost the fan. I thought it was just a misunderstanding with the fan and that it will be in a better mood by the time I came back from office. But it wasn’t to be. So I had to arrange to sleep in the living room. But since the living room has the TV I had to wait till any of my flatmates had to watch TV. Luckily my flat mates are not too fond of watching TV late in the night.

1400 Hrs, 11 July, HP Service Centre Gurgaon
I had had a bad time arranging for my dues. My excessive credit card bills, loan instalments and ofcourse eating expense were falling out of my pocket already (read the date). I asked the service guy how much it would cost to repair the laptop. In reply he said that if it’s a battery problem it will cost around 10-15k and if there is a problem with the motherboard it will cost 20-25k. I brought the laptop back with me to get a second opinion.

I took the laptop back to the service centre and deposited it for repair.

Try Ball

2007-06-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

Yaar maine pehle hi bol diya tha, umpire se pooch le.

Yaar me pagal hu kya ki pehli ball par aisa shot khelunga

Mujhe laga ki “try ball hai”…

And so it begins! Many a legendary bowlers have come up with innovations: the doosra’s, the magic ball, the floaters, the beamers. But hats off to the gentleman who came up with this innocent novel idea called the try ball.

Cricket has gone through sea changes, so much has been improved and modified over the last 100 years and more. But this concept has a special place in every little street where the game breeds. For years this has been used over and over again, but I have always been mystified by the existence of the try ball. Why did it start and what real purpose did it solve. As you come to think of it you realise that the try ball can mean different things in different scenarios.

Scenario 1: the one described in the first three lines. When someone gets out of the first ball of a match he uses the try-ball card to bail himself out. If people agree to it then way to go…if people don’t this guy often has another oft repeated idea – ‘yaar shuru se khelte hain nayi team baant ke’. If other players reject this proposal as well, then keep an eye on this guy, his mummy will call him back very soon.

Scenario 2: bhaiyya bhaiyya me bhi ball daalunga. Kaisi bowling karta hai tu pace ya slow?...bhaiyya me batta pace daal lunga…nahi batta pace allowed nahi hai…acha theek hai batta spin karunga…acha dekhte hain kahin tu zada tez to nahi phek raha, le ek try ball daal….

Scenario 3: this usually takes lead from a last evening fight over a no ball decision. It’s a new game today, but just to irritate the other guy, the bowler, the batsman shouts as the bowler is running in…oye ye try ball hai.

Scenario 4: yaar bohot time ho gaya khele hue, u knw IITJEE ki tayyari ke time chhod diya tha maine cricket khelna to ab practice me nahi hu, waise to me apni colony ka captain tha…zara do chaar try ball kara de…

There maybe more such incidents, but the try ball definitely doesn’t look good from these examples. Let me put what I think could be the best use of the try ball. It is in everyway only to gauge the bounce of the pitch or whatever the game is being played on rather than judging the bowlers strength. Any bowler is smart enough not to go full throttle with a try ball. For the bowler it is an opportunity to get the body moving get the stepping right and ensure that there is no unwarranted swing.

As I moved from school to IIT, the try ball was taken over by elaborate and tiring net sessions. For two hours five days a week I was there, running in endlessly even if my captain told me not to. This trend was more prominent by the way when I was trying to get into the team. As the cricket became more serious, the try-ball became a bigger joke.

As I sit preparing for my GMAT next week, the concept of the try-ball draws me to itself more and more. The mocks have now taken place of the try ball. Hell the try ball is not easy to score off(smile). But in my case I think I am exercising Scenario 4 here. You know I have never appeared for CAT. Just did some preparation for fun in 4^th year. My maths was always good you know but even that I am not in practice. Otherwise I cracked a 93 percentile in GATE. Please give me some mock GMATs (buhu buhu).

But the fact of the matter is that try ball is a bit like the building block to bigger things. It’s the alphabet that we learn on the street or the parks which transpires into words and sentences at Inter IITs. The try ball is and will remain the very basic education every cricketer needs. Even if it is a concept that largely invokes laughter and giggles, but what the heck! We play for fun don’t we? And this is one of the most innocent forms of humour on the cricket field. You decide for yourself what will you like to see Sachin Tendulkar do when he gets out the first ball? You want to see him pretend that the ball stayed low and he actually rammed the bat in his crouch? Or would you like to see him take off his helmet and tell Shoaib Akhtar – ‘yaar maine pehle bol diya tha……

Change of Pace

2007-06-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes my mind wonders, what exactly is the ideal way to spend a day? The first thought is of being comprehensively engrossed with work at office such that I don’t get time to think of whether I had fun that day or not. The second thought is to do many things in one day such as play cricket, work at office, have a nice lunch and dinner have a nice long coding session and go to sleep. The third is to sit at home watch Friends on the laptop, and sit some more and sit more and go to sleep. None however, seem fulfilling.

I keep thinking about doing that one bit extra that would make me happy each day. This by the way is the motto of every human so I am no different. But what that one bit is or could be is something that doesn’t click. So using an iterative process to find that out I took step one – I bought a guitar. Well why waste time explaining what I did with it on a blog if I didn’t play it for even 7 days. So chuck it, guitar is out of the radar.

The second step was actually transpired from my desire to grow professionally, which is getting stronger by the day. I decided to register for GMAT and picked a date. It was purely coincidental that I picked 4^th of July. I bought a book to prepare and this time it stuck. I have been regularly studying since then (regularly by my definition of course). But coming at 11 from the office all tired and sucked out, the studying becomes quite a pain. So it became strictly professional with no enjoyment to be gained out of it.

Three weeks ago both my flatmates moved out to get to bigger things in life and I am mostly alone at home. The ‘boriyat’ has started to creep in. So in an effort to pick things up I took step three and joined a fitness centre. As most of you know my body is in a great shape, actually shapes, so going to the gym was not such a bad idea. It was a costly deal but I took the risk.

It’s only been a week so far at the gym and thankfully I haven’t missed a day yet. Can’t say right now whether its sticking with me or not, but here is what I have now – I get up at around 8 – 8.30 in the morning and go to office by 9.30, work for around 10 hours and then leave for the gym at around 8, work out at the gym till about 9.30 – 10, eat my dinner, mostly alone, and get back home by 11 in the night, from 11 to 12 I check mails and stuff, from 12 to 1 – 1.30 I study. If I then have some energy left I watch Friends and go to sleep by 2 only to get up at 8.30 next morning. That’s what you call a busy day... and how!

The gym so far is good, its refreshing once you get through your workout because there is that sense of accomplishment. It definitely doesn’t give me much time to think about other things. This blog is an exception I guess.

The interesting thing is that five days in the gym I realised that going to a gym can be like being in a relationship. You have to be regular if you want anything to materialise; you have to work hard every day but at the end of the day you are happy; they take care of you, your health and your diet; and in some cases they will ask you to quit smoking!

P.S. For the record Aarti has never asked me to quit smoking, and as I say that I don’t think even the gym instructors have. :)

Punching the air !!!

2007-06-02T03:02:00.000-07:00

If I were to choose the lousiest week in the year and some days I have spent at my job, then last week was it. For five days I was almost without any work. Although I was supposed to be working but some of the projects were so boring that I couldn’t help wander around checking cricinfo.com and reading global gyaan on the net. To add to this there was a serious issue on Friday, where I found myself in an unintentional malice which the client almost made out. The issue was hopefully sorted by the weekend.

The Friday night kind of sucked, as I got my salary but had no one to go out with, my room mates have moved out and I was alone eating dinner at one of our usuals. I slept relatively early as I had to wake up early for a match on Saturday morning. We won the match and I was the man of the match.

We bowled first and I have definitely got some rhythm going now, with 3 overs for 9 runs and a wicket. But as always my team starts experimenting once there is a good start and we ended up conceding 159 in 25 overs. We started ok and were going along at 4-5 an over. By the 22 over our score was 128 for 7 and I came in to bat. In the exacting heat of 12 noon in gurgaon I ran twos of virtually every ball. I hit an off spinner over extra cover for four, a shot I guess Roushan Singh would have been proud of. We needed 12 from the last over. After my partner handed me the strike of a leg bye of the first ball, I ran 3 consecutive twos leaving 5 to get from 2. Old memories started haunting me.

Around 3.5 years ago I was at IIT Bombay playing against IIT Roorkee. I was the vice captain of IITD, I was on strike with 5 to get from 2. Two swings and no connection, we lost by four runs. I had let my team down. I could not look anyone in the eyes when I went back to the dressing room. This time I wanted to make some amends. So the first of the two disappeared for a four to square leg. One to get from the last ball, the whole field was up and the match was not over. The ball went over the mid on fielder and nobody bothered to chase it, we won the game and I scored 29(14) to seal the game.

Success can be perceived very differently by different people. A few months after I passed IIT my mother complained that she was disappointed that I didn’t throw my hands up in jubilation just when I had heard the result for JEE. One of my close friends asked me why I was not jumping with ecstasy when my hostel made it to the semi finals of a tournament for the first time after ending up last on three previous occasions. I try to put success in a bigger picture. You need to hold the celebrations for the real thing because it means something.

The one time I can never forget when I punched the air full throttle was when I took the second last wicket in an important final. Although I took a wicket next ball too to win the cup but that was emotional as it involved the success of the whole team. The previous ball was for me, stumps flying away for a perfect in singing yorker at a time when it was imperative.

I try to set short term goals, so that I can try to achieve them one at a time, even if a pack of short term ones are supposed to lead to a big one. But the celebration has to accord the value of success. Today as I lofted the final ball to get the winning runs I made a small pump of the fist as that was as much as it deserved. I can still feel the disappointment and shame of that December evening in 2003 at Bombay; I guess nothing can make it go. But it is pleasing to tell yourself that you can do it, maybe not at that level and therefore the celebration is toned. I wish I had made connection with those two balls, as I kept waiting for another opportunity. It never came.

I guess all this teaches an interesting lesson. Celebrating, enjoying and partying in success are not forever. It can never be ‘more the merrier’. But still it’s important to try to look for success all the time. That’s the paradox, I guess that’s life.

Anniversay

2007-05-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

Today, I completed one year at Evalueserve. It will be rude to suggest that that’s all there is to this milestone. So let me just rewind and look back at ‘the year that was’.

On my first Friday in office, I had an interview with a client which I had to pass in order to work on that project. Apart from being not selected for the project I ended up disclosing the name of another client to this client. A lesson that could easily have been learnt during orientation, but things come to me the harder way.

I was a month old in office when I was awarded a flattering but not so credible ‘performer of the week’ award for my project. The team comprised 10 people so I felt like I was really turning the heat on.

Two months down I worked for the first time on energy related project. I made a PPT which would best be described as a disaster. But I was still learning and I am not ashamed of that, no matter what was going through my project manager’s mind when he was formatting it.

Approximately four months in to the job came the scariest phase, one that I want to forget but can’t. It was an officially shitty project and I was scared while I was in office about the fact that I have to do all the phone calls. Its best that nothing more be said about that part.

In December I had the first real conflict with someone. Well actually my project manager had some problem with my work and ‘attitude’ which till date I believe was called for. I accepted the short coming on my part without any retaliation because I knew my PM was right. The best thing was that my PM for forthright about pointing my mistake, something that I learnt from him.

For the last six months I have been working on energy projects and things have been relatively smooth, I like the work I am interested in learning more about the industry and there seems to be a sign board that says – ‘drive safely career road ahead’.

Of course one of the best times will have to be the off-site corporate retreat to hrishikesh. An experience for a lifetime and I am grateful to the people who organised the event.

Finally, to cap it all, the cricket. Not an enriching experience by any stretch of the imagination, both in terms of the game on field and the team spirit on and off it. But at the end of the day it was cricket. There can not be many posts that I can write about the matches I played for Evalueserve. Still the opportunity that I got to play has to be credited to some people in the organisation.

It has to be said that at the end of it all I do feel as if I have matured one year. There is a little more clarity in thought and perspective. Looking forward to another six months at this place at least.

Not much to write home about !

2007-05-14T14:32:00.000-07:00

One of the busiest weekends in this year probably. Tiring, refreshing, painful and satisfying all at the same time. I played two matches over the weekend, one that we won the other we lost. However, as it turns out, all the adverbs (!) I used before were existent in the second match alone. That’s one of the great things about cricket; there are very few times you can return empty handed from the field – quite literally.

I bowled well in both the matches, although I was asked to do something I have never done so far. I was asked to bowl defensively, back of length. Since I am not express I have to rely on swing and therefore invariably pitch the ball up. At the end of the day I did well with the bowl and in the field. So that gave me the satisfaction.

I fell in my follow through on the first ball of my spell in the second game and twisted my ankle. It didn’t bother me during the game but as I came back to my place I started to feel some discomfort and slight swelling. The fact that I had to ride my bike and shift gears with my ankle and walk a large distance in the evening made it all the more painful.

Losing a final is as bad as it can get. I have lost two before, and those disasters are etched in my memory much deeper than most of my victories. This time the feeling was not as bad, as I realised that the team did not deserve to win. Even then the spirit and fight put up by a number of players in the team was quite remarkable and to say the least refreshing.

Amidst all the cricket there were trips between Delhi and Gurgaon on my bike in the sweltering heat, for more than 150kms. A friend’s party late night on Friday which ended at 1.30am and I had to wake up at 6am on the following morning to go for my match. A little bit of studying for my GMAT to go with it was enough to make the whole experience so tiring, that people at work asked me if there was anything wrong.

I wonder what it would have been like if I had not played those games. I could have ridden my bike at a decent hour with less of heat, I wouldn’t have hurt myself and of course I would have been able to give even more time to my studies. This is perfectly what my parents would have expected of me, or perhaps will tell me to do the next time. It’s a sad feeling that at the age of almost 24 your parents don’t understand the importance of the most important fuel of your life. It’s still just a game for them, a game which should not be played too much and least be watched on TV.

This is not one of Zubin like i-hate-my-parents post. Please don’t get me wrong here. I am also not saying that my parents have never felt good when I have told them of my achievements in cricket. But they have never understood that it is almost intoxication for me, something that gives the pleasure and happiness that we all are searching for all the time. They can not understand why I occasionally neglect them for cricket.

I guess it’s hard for anybody to comprehend that a game, a sport or any such otherwise considered peripheral concept can drive someone’s existence. But what is even harder is to explain it to somebody yourself.

He's Got The Edge

2007-04-29T02:56:00.000-07:00

They say all good things come to an end, and this one surely did. An absolute privilege to have been born in this time and to have witnessed one of the most remarkable things to happen to the game of cricket. He gave the game a new meaning, a talent so immaculate yet so diverse, so consistent yet so different, so much movement and yet so steady.

It's always sad when someone has to go, but now we also know that going out can be pleasant. It depends on the talent itself. I don't remember when was the first time I saw you, but I was a fan since day one. Whatever I have to show off in terms of my achievements in this game is in a way because of you, more than anyone else.

The three things that will always stand out for me and I would always like to include in my personality will be consistency, bearing a smile with the bat and that shake of the head.

You will always be a champion.

Throwing the kitchen sink

2007-04-18T13:35:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday was one hell of a day. Yes it was pretty close to hell. I was playing a match in a corporate tournament where we were playing our last league game although we were out of the tournament already. So as they say we were playing for pride. We were chasing 141 to win and were 125 for 1 in 12 overs. We won by one wicket.

The day was tiring as I bowled four overs in the exacting 40 degrees of Delhi garmi. To top it I kept wickets for 12 overs and my legs have parted ways since then :P. To follow it was going to play a basketball match at IIT as some alumni function. Luckily that match got cancelled as no one was able to make it. In the evening I rode back to ghaziabad to attend a pre-function to a friends wedding – Shubhankar.

Shubahnkar and I have really known each other for only two years i.e. class 11 and 12. But it still feels like we know everything about each other. We have been in touch with each other for the last 6-7 years since leaving school. He is probably the only person with whom I have discussed love life seriously. He was my best friend is school and our friendship has gone from strength to strength. The last strength being me buying his old pulsar.

It’s hard to believe that someone you went to school with is getting married already. He is a year older than me, but I have always felt that he is much older than me in terms of maturity. We secretly admire each other, well me more than him because he makes no secret of any of his feelings. But I have always felt that he is someone I can look up to. He could never do too well with studies and was always awed by me since I was the IITian. The truth is that we are still very close in terms of where we are in life and it makes me really happy.

As he gets ready to step in to a very new world I feel a sense of rightfulness in his decision to get married so early. He looks every bit ready to take this step. No pressure, no nerves just pure happiness and contentment. I wish him and his would be wife, who by the way is really lucky to have someone like him, a lifetime of happiness.

I will never forget what shubhankar once told me when he came back after scoring 14 runs in 5 balls. He said ‘jo maza aankhein band karke shot maarne me hai wo aankhein kholke kahan’. I know I am cricket crazy but I know he is not and I hope he doesn’t apply such fundas to his life.

Lost Cause

2007-03-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

So the dream is over.

India

lost to

Sri Lanka

and that really puts them back on the plane to

India

. But I think it’s a difficult time for the Indian players and I wish I could do something to bring some respite to the butchering they are going through.

Indian team failed a million hopes and there is huge disappointment and dejection. But anger is not something I feel. I think the team made the one big mistake against Bangladesh and were caught on the wrong foot. Sri Lanka was always going to be tough. But there is nobody ho should be blamed for the defeat. Sure enough someone has to take the responsibility and Dravid rightly took the responsibility for the poor show. But this is not to say that there was something lacking with Dravid, its not that someone else could necessarily have produced a different result. Even the team selection was never a worry apart from the inclusion of Sehwag. But he had the support of the Captain and provided some support to his captain in return as well. India played tow good practice games and there was nothing wrong till then.

But TV channels as expected are going after the players and ofcourse the coach. People are questioning his process. I even heard an aajtak reporter say that what was the coach thinking playing khokho and kabbaddi in practice sessions. Such idiots who have probably touched a cricket ball equal to the number of hundreds greg chappel would have made. But suddenly everyone knows what’s wrong with the team. The fact that Greg Chappel is a failure can not be overlooked, but to question what he was doing not the way out.

I might not be able to put down my thoughts on this issue in a structured manner right now, but sure enough I still support the Indian team. I will stay up tonight to see if Bermuda can surprise Bangladesh and India can sneak in.

There was an interesting comment in the paper that said we expect our team to beat everyone, we end up losing to Bangladesh and this difference in expectation and reality is making our cricket suffer. As I tried to analyse some of the previous world cups I realized that in 1983 nobody expected India to win the cup, not many put their money on Australia to win in 1987 in the subcontinent. I don’t think even Pakistan would have thought they had any chance after losing to India and bowled out for 74 against England in 1992. Sri Lanka were clearly not the favourites to win in 1996 and again in 1999 Australia had their backs to the wall and had put the burden of expectations in the trash and just went out and won. Sadly something like that can never happen with India.

Even I hope India wins almost everytime they play, but I know like most of the crickets that have ever played the game that defeat is as much a part of the game as victory. So if you lose one you look forward to winning the next one.

Group of Death

2007-03-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

The world cup is on and there is very little else I can think of these days. Not to mention India losing to its neighbours has really set the nrr meter running. Cricket is the flavour of the day and nobody can escape it. As an Indian supporter you obviously want them to win but lately there is so much happening behind the scene that put victory and defeat out of perspective.

There was an interesting article by Sambit Bal editor of Cricinfo that I was reading yesterday. It really puts many things in to perspective. I have never been a cynic always suspecting match fixing problems in cricket. I still believe the game is much cleaner than it is shown to be. However, the vast infiltration of money in to the game is something that worries me now. I believe the game is always the biggest and nothing can be above it nor players, nor ICC nobody. Money however is getting ahead of the game now.

Matches are being scheduled in a way so as to generate maximum revenues, television rights are being sold to TV channels who offer maximum money irrespective of the quality of coverage they can provide and the ability of these channels to maintain the tempo this once in four years event deserves. Its absolutely a disgrace to see a half naked women sitting with cricket experts having no idea of whats going on, and add to the that the commercials of tv serials between overs such as durgesh nandini, ghar ki bahu ki aisi ki taisi and what not. What one wants to see is the world record sixes the Indian team hit recently in highlights. Setmax has brought nothing but shame and it is killing enthusiasm in young kids who like their game.

Cricket has created a violent following which is fed by the Indian cynicism and compounded by our inherent belief that we know better than the Indian captain. People bringing down a young man’s house because he got out for 0 is an inhuman behaviour. Sure when Indian people praise the team even that touches a certain barbaric proportions.

The major worry is that this bubble of money is expansing and there is only one end to it that it will explode. Such high expectations, pressure, nerves is adding a different angle to the game which is not part of the games’ natural evolution. Sure the game needs to be bettered constantly new rules should be brought in to make it interesting. But the ‘new rules’ should not be a back door to generating more money. The players are surely getting a lot of money, but I believe that every cricket is still in the game because he loves the game and he’d be still playing it if were getting a tenth of what he is getting now. The money is being pocketed by advertisers, bookies and administrators.

Such pressure of expectations should not result in countrywide demonstrations, burning of effigies, discussions in the parliament and stupid news channels running senseless misleading programs such as ‘match ke mujrim’. Criticism has its place in every sphere and it is necessary to have a different opinion. But it should not create a situation where players are playing for their lives.

Sambit Bal ends his article with two very beautiful lines as he remarks – ‘Greg Chappell was slapped on the back by a man in Bhubaneswar seeking his fifteen seconds of fame. He was obliged. It could get worse. Someone could get killed. Perhaps someone has already been killed.’

Calculated Risk

2007-03-12T13:40:00.000-07:00

They say you get the most out of something when you expect the least. Well it came true for me last weekend as I had rocker time with ninety one others from my office at Hrishikesh. I have been to Hrishikesh once before when I was five. This one was absolutely different. This was going to be a three day party and so it was.

We started with a late night bus journey which ended in the early hours of the morning. I have often failed to understand what many people mean when they describe the air as ‘crisp’. But at 8am in the morning surrounded by the beautiful Shivalik hills I kind of got the idea. Exhausted from a sleepless night in the bus I got no rest as we staright away got on the road to go for rafting.

Rafting is an amazing experience, not scary (or certainly not the one we did) and very very fun. I jumped out in the water and I thought that even the water was crisp. It tasted better than bisleri and was chilled like no other. It was really relaxing lying in the Ganges. Then came the most absolute fun part of the whole trip for me. It was worth going to Hrishikesh already. I did the cliff jump. I know everyone must have done it by now. But that was one emotion I had never really experienced before, fear. Standing on the edge of a clip and talking about jumping of it sounded foolish to me. But I did it, and once again after that. Mind you there were three golden words that helped me through as I screamed “Jai Kara Ki” and both my feet had left contact with surface. Three seconds later I landed in water. The feeling that I actually jumped from the cliff was a huge rush and immensely satisfying. Ofcourse I was helped by the fact that a girl had done the jump just before me so I didn’t have much choice than jump did I?

We came back to our hotel, finally had some rest. By the time it was night it was alcohol time. But to entertain everyone there was some artistic contributions form various people. People sang songs from ‘do dil mil rahe hain’ to kishore kumar general hits. And then I was called to sing in front of this crowd. I had had I had the perfect audience for it. The song goes like ‘patli kamar chikna badan’. Everyone just loved it and I was glad that I could raise the tempo of the evening. Then I also sang another song amidst “requests” ;). The next one was up there as well ‘me aayi hu UP Bihar lootne’. I got loads of compliments and advise to be the agla idol.

The next day was slightly less inspiring. Although I did manage to graze my skin across rough rocks and pebbles while rock climbing. But beach volleyball, a game of kabbaddi made it an all round enjoyment day. That night was to be our last night of our retreat and so we danced. Imagine 90 odd people shaking a hip in absolute enjoyment. I had seen such a thing for the very first time. I normally don’t dance among a group of unknown people. But the songs were good and I jumped in as well.

I like dancing but strictly as an expression of my happiness. It was probably the first time when I was dancing with a lot of women around. But the best part was that nobody bothered. The point was that everyone was letting the hair loose as they say. Although at the end of the day dancing with women around is slightly restrictive, you know what I mean. But you can’t keep the restriction if the DJ puts on ‘sapne me milti hai’. That is one of the songs which calls for the “maa kasam dance”. I really missed the days of absolute dancing in the hostel with all the guys. Nothing can beat that!

As I was packing my bags to board the bus to leave for Hrishikesh the only thing on my mind was the call I had with the client which I had to rush and attend and then leave for Hrishikesh. On our way back to Gurgaon there were multiple thoughts but one that was taking most of my mental space was to keep a hold on the other thoughts and key it into a blog. I did not know most of the people around me in the office before the trip. The only difference now is that a lot of people now know me thanks to my singing or in fact my choice of songs (which transpired the nick name item boy :P). I will cherish everything I learnt through this trip, about Hrishikesh about people around me and of course my own courage levels, for a long time to come.

Dressing Room

2007-03-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday was one of my many visits to IIT, since I passed out of it. The financial year is coming to a close and I had a couple of sick leaves in the balance, so I decided to put it to good use. I woke up at 11.30 that morning, went back to my bed at 12.30pm and got out of it again at 1.45. Good start eh? Then I suddenly remembered of some unfinished business at IIT and decided to get going.

My hostel basketball team had a match with Kumaon. This had the makings of a great game and it was perfect timing as I would be able to watch it. I went to my hostel much earlier than the match though. Found some of my juniors, some entangled in the ins and outs of living through the motions of a never ending final semester, while some others having a lot of fun with after dark activity of the campus we like to call “POLT”. It’s a really funny word.

I had a great time talking about old things and new, learning how even to this day Mess secy’s are keeping the torch of sucking off the M.Techs alive. Not to mention the great darkhorses of their times the BSW reps slowly sneaking in to the ‘top jobs’ on the campus. We discussed everything from girls to tv serials to naukris to latest tryst with bhang and grass some people had had on holi. I never even realized that I had passed of two and half hours.

Then it was time for the match, the basketball court superbly lit with white light is really an amazing place to be. It really sets up the energy level required for a basketball match. I have been part of a successful basket team and when I say that I am careful of not saying that I was successful. Only the team was successful and that was how much I frankly cared.

We played well after a vintage initial hiccup. We won convincingly and deservedly to a fighting Kumaon team. In many ways it was nice to there. This was the last time a hard working and talented Rajat Agarwal represented the hostel. After the match the team had a few things to discuss and took off for the hostel. I however, had to get back to gurgaon. I wanted to be with the team, to savor the moment of victory. Nothing can beat the enjoyment of a post match conversation for a match that you win. Ram’s fruit shop and surd shop were ideal places to do that. Nothing really succeeds like success.

In the last ten months my relationship with IIT has been very close. I have seen quite a few competitive events. I get the feeling as I am still part of the hostel just that I am not allowed to participate in any of the activities, maybe due to some disciplinary action for drinking alcohol in the hostel. Which is ironic because I hate alcohol J.

Holi Shit

2007-03-04T12:42:00.000-08:00

According to history, Holi is celebrated to mark an event where the so called ‘lord’ Krishna‘bura na mano holi hai’ which if read in subtext would mean that we have the right to do whatever we want and you can’t complain. In a way this is another of man’s ways of proving his righteousness. Full marks to Krishna for doing such a shameful act and getting away with it, with people making a celebration out of it. I much rather prefer people drinking alcohol in their drawing rooms, rather than slapping lousy color on someone’s face who doesn’t even want it.

threw some water or color on some of the women of his area. In that light I believe Holi is a celebration of eve-teasing. Well to an extent it is. To cap it the slogan goes as

I hate that helpless feeling where no one would understand that you just don’t like it. In fact you are considered stupid for not celebrating the ‘festival’. I like the fact that it brings an opportunity to talk to relatives, old friends and in fact neighbors. But I hate it when someone puts color on me and you can’t get mad as it is holi. I think if I have to kill someone then I would like to kill that person for throwing color on me on holi.

I think a festival should bring you happiness and not a constant sense of fear and apprehension of where the next attack would be. I haven’t played holi in years. There is only one of my uncles who comes to our place every holi puts colors on us. Since he is older I can’t revolt, so I just go through a few moments of sulking, and when he goes I take a bath, and get on with the rest of the day. I have no real belief in god, or god stories. But if this one is to be believed then Krishna
was the biggest cheat there ever was. He did everything just to get his goal even if he had to use deceit. Why hindus call him a god is beyond me. I think he was a plain human with super powers. So while the powers themselves did some good things, by the time he grew old the humane side took control and cheating was the only thing he could do.

I hope everyone had a good day at Holi, but if unfortunately someone didn’t don’t worry. Good time will come. This time holi was on a Sunday, so it was all the more useless.

P.S. past another landmark, 175 hours since I last smoked….watch out Viru here I come.

We wanted to win the cup without dropping a game

2007-03-03T02:34:00.000-08:00

- Glenn McGrath on the 2003 World Cup

Last two weeks at office have been rather hectic. Hectic to the extent that I have fallen sick. My body has been giving me signs of weakness which has slowly translated in to poor focus at work. It might be a little early to comment on this but I believe that if you work hard day in and day out, you get a handicap. A handicap of not being able to focus on trivial issues and having the ability to only work under a stressed format. I experienced that for a couple of days and quickly shifted gears to get my focus back on the steady pace.

However my health couldn’t quite shift gears. The problem was compounded by three late night outings this weekend and eating grapes on Saturday. I also played a lot of cricket on Saturday where I scored a lot of runs and in the process tired my muscles further. Sunday night was the worst as I had to go to bed early as I had caught fever by then.

Monday mornings are never pleasant are they? Mine wasn’t any different, as I spitted out large amounts of cough that I had accrued over the weekend and that gave me a sour throat. I am very sensitive about my throat and I can never have a good day if my throat is aching. So I decided that I will not smoke today. Whoopy it worked!

Couple of years back sometime in May 2005 I had quit smoking for the first time. Very suddenly and abruptly with no aids or anything. I just woke up one morning felt pain in my throat and decided not to smoke for a while. A year and seven months later I had my first drag after a break.

I believe it is always easy to achieve something as compared to maintaining it. Take for example Australia, they don’t just pride themselves on winning a world cup but the fact that they defended it is what is valued more. An achievement made against the odds is easier as against an achievement made being in the middle of attention with all eyes on you. Not to mention your own expectations weighing you down. So I guess what I want to say is that I am having a crack at defending the title, or maybe not, but I definitely feel that the defense of the title is much more difficult.

P.S. Its just past the 50 hours mark since I last smoked….already a standing ovation I believe J

Critics

2007-02-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

As days go by, there is a feeling which props up every now and then. At around 1 in the night there is a sudden sense of doing something constructive, which may include a warm chat with college mates but only as one of many things. I don’t feel like going to sleep as yet, but the other thing is that I don’t want to wake up late the next morning either. As is the case with many of us we sleep late and get up at as well.

The office can be really trying and tiring at times. So much so that you feel the same tension going to office as you did going to school when you were 5. It just doesn’t settle in for a fact that this is my livelihood and I have to accept it, and strive to keep getting better by the day. Most days we end up leaving office with a sense of relief. This relief is however short lived.

As I move from my office to my flat in gurgaon, these thoughts start encroaching upon me as what I am going to do at home. The first answer is obviously make a nice cup of tea and light up the proverbial ‘sutta’. What next? Watch tv? Well I have to wait till 12.30 for friends as there is not much interesting stuff on tv either. What next? Make something to eat – aha! Here I have got options. Is it going to be magi today or should we go for half fried eggs and bread jam? What next? Well not much except for a little bit of coding.

Spending time in the office is as suffocating as it is relieving. A get away from thoughts about planning the next two hours of the day. Being in the office still gives you the feeling of involvement. Involvement with the rest of the world. It has to be said that we don’t say this often enough that going to office is fun and interesting. It keeps you on your toes alright, or your backsides in my case. Not to mention the tremendous opportunities it provides for us to learn and know about different things albeit only to be learnt and not used. I believe credit should be given where it is due.

Talking about giving due credit I would like to express my thoughts about a man who needs due credit. Saurav Ganguly has never been one of my favorite cricketers. Probably because he was a bit of a prodigy and not as hard working. He has made two comebacks in to the Indian team in his career. Both these comebacks were steered more by the people he knew or the image he had than what he did on the field. But both the times he made it pretty clear that his inclusion in the side is not unworthy. He did that by making a hundred on debut at lords the first time and everyone knows he has been Mr. consistent for India of late. Dada deserves the praise he is getting and I hope he continues to play this well for India for a long time. As much I am happy that he is back, I am glad that he was sent out in the first place.

So as it unfolds its 4am in the morning and I should go to sleep. Have a nice day!

Home Ground

2007-02-05T12:50:00.000-08:00

Driving is one of the perfect getaways for me. Especially if the drive is on lonely roads albeit at 6am in the morning. So I grabbed this opportunity recently to drive my parents to my native place, Jhansi in UP. We left at 6 in the morning a wonderful time for driving and with the lovely roads of Delhi and the well built Agra highway it was a great experience. We made it to Jhansi at 2pm in the afternoon and it was very fulfilling to have driven all the way to my birth place.

Jhansi as most would know is a small town/city in UP mainly famous for the Rani of Jhansi. However, some of the little known facts about Jhansi are that it is the native place of Major Dhyaan Chand and that it has the third longest railway platform in India.

Jhansi has been a place meant only for fun to me. I can’t even remember the number of trips I have made their and its been so enjoyable each and every time. The small roads with pot holes, the pigs lying in the nail outside and ofcourse the ‘pahad’ where me and my cousins have made numerous adventure visits when we were young.

Its always nice to go to a place that you can relate to so much. I once went to a barber in Jhansi for the first time. He was an old man who looked at me and said “tum to Vishwas (my father) ke ladke ho”. You feel as if you are back home, and this feeling is enhanced by the long impending development of the area. For the last 23 years I haven’t seen 23 changes in Jhansi that I could register. And that is what makes the place so special. It never changes. It almost a fairy land where I always find family people who have conjured lots of jokes and stories to tell since the last time we met. Endless number of stories and laugh riots that can give you a sour throat.
Its funny though how sometimes getting back to home can become a getaway. Whenever I am in jhansi there is a sense of calm within. And the worst part is when we have to keep our pakced bags in the auto to leave for the station. I guess at the end of the day its aways good to be home. As I was taking a walk with my uncle in my very own streets of sipri bazaar it felt as if I were walking in dilshad garden, my home in delhi. My uncle stopped at a shop to ask for something. Just close by in another shop, a man wearing a typical muslim topi was having his lunch. He looked at me standing in a corner, and as I looked at him he asked me ‘aur kya haal hain?’ I replied in a dim voice “bas badhiya hai sab”. It really felt like I was home.

2007-02-03T02:21:00.000-08:00

Head Held High

It’s been a long time since I have written something in this space. Work has been ususal to say the least. Although there was some excitement as one of my clients expressed satisfaction over my work. However, largely the last couple of weeks or so I have had the feeling that my company might just relieve me. No worries, I just try to be ready for the worst.

It’s been a long time since I last played some cricket as well, though watching it has been the in thing. With India doing some things right it was a great experience getting back to reading newspapers in the morning. Its really a special to see happy faces of your team in the morning newspaper. It sets up my day quite nicely. While in another part of the world my other team had a mixed time. My hostel cricket team at IIT did well to win both its league matches. It was as always a happy site. While I tried to become an unbiased spectator, inside me there was fueling desire to cheer my team. I eventually did it after we won a close game. But the sad part was to lose the semi final. I had thought of not being too bothered by the result of this game. But when I can turn red when India loses, its difficult to control the disappointment when your team loses at IIT. A team you represented for five years. A team that I virtually owned. One thing that I did do successfully was to say too much to the team. I hope I was successful at that. I have always believed that the men in the middle should make the decisions. I said enough when I was in control and never liked somebody intruding irrespective of who he was. I hope I will never do that myself.

The team fought with good spirit and at the end of the day you can’t ask for more. But its difficult to satisfy yourself with that. This is the cruel part of sports, when you come off the field you can not hang your head in shame. Pride is your only prize of the match. But it comes at a great cost. You can tell yourself 1000 funda’s in life but when you lose that head of yours starts to weigh so much that it’s just impossible to keep it up. The eyes staring at you and the hands coming to you in consolation are the final nail in the coffin called defeat.

I still think one should keep his head high. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from it. All it does is that it doesn’t give that bit extra to your opponent. That’s why I have always believed in admitting a mistake to the fullest. You may not stand to gain from it, but it gives you a better chance of preventing any further ‘losses’.

Like most iitians I hated chemistry, and I’ll always remember one incident when my chemistry teacher in class 12th scolded me by saying – ‘tumhe kuch bhi nahi aata, kyun shreyas aajkal chemistry nahi padhte na?’ to which I replied very politely – ‘haan mam nahi padhta’. My teacher just bursted in to laughter saying that I had left her with nothing to say beyond this. Five years later I am a master in chemical engineering and working in business research in the energy (oil & gas) sector.

Disclaimer: the last two sentences are mutually independent. However true…and how!

2006-12-29T12:39:00.000-08:00

Green Top

Previous couple of weeks at office has been depressing to say the least. I was told that I was not showing full commitment to my work, which was fair. The work at that time was really pissing me off and I had no shame in admitting that there was lack of commitment on my part. Things have looked much better since then.

I took a trip to Goa with friends from IIT and realized on reaching Goa that we were only five people and three of us were living together. The trip was ok for a couple of days, but in the later part it felt like Sunil Gavaskar making that historic 36 n.o. against England in the 1975 world cup. But nevertheless it was a break which I wanted and helped me find some positives in my current job.

The whole process of getting out of a shity project and an almost rehabilitation in to a touch better one’s was very long. But I realized that it isn’t in my hands to get good work on a consistent basis, and as it turned out it took care of itself. I got some very interesting assignments and work felt a much better experience. People are again happy with my performance, no issues with commitment.

I wonder how much of this change was a result of my own intent, my guess is not at all. Its amazing how at one point you can be so happy and it just take moments to put you down, and again it will take another moment to put you back to happy. In life you can never understand how, when and where good or bad times are going to come from. All you know is that they will come.

I have heard of the proverbial ‘green top’ a million times on tv, but had a chance to actually bowl on one at IIT Madras. The ball actually swings due to the grass and there is added pace. I didn’t take too many wickets though, but I bowled one of my best spells there. As a bowler you never know what you will be bowling on till the match starts, its really not in your hands whether you get a flat lifeless wicket or a Green Top. Its all in the hands of the ‘curator’. All you can do is seize the opportunity when it is green and hang in there when its bare or till it becomes green.

2006-12-24T06:05:00.000-08:00

Off the Field

This is my first and in all probability last blog from Goa. The place is heaven, i mean you should come here only after you die. It's the most cosmetic and superficial way of life I'll ever see. Party's, beaches, babes and alcohol can never be sustainable pleasure. Thats why just a get away is probably good. For two reasons, one that you get to do something that you always think of in the office i.e a break and secondly you realise, as I did, that this is something that will never give memories for life. It is just living in the moment.

This blog will be my smallest, I am writing it from a cyber cafe so thats obvious, but my wishes for a merry christmas to all those who venture to read my posts. and I hope everyone will have a great beginning to the new year like me :D.

2006-11-17T14:35:00.000-08:00

Poore 30 over

Those who don’t understand the title, it very simply translates as ‘poore tees over’. My cellphone is nearing its 2nd anniversary and so is this phrase on the display of its screen. It is one phrase which changed a lot for me.

Cricket has taught me a great deal in life and I have always tried to draw parallels between cricket and life. But nobody ever taught me cricket. I don’t remember as I must have been 4-5 then when my father would have handed me a plastic bat. He might have taught me how to hold it. But that was it, I had no body to learn it from. Like most kids of my age I learnt cricket through TV. I was never able to get in to a serious cricket coaching where someone could teach me the nitty grties of cricket. I missed studying cricket from someone.

I still remember that six year old who was bullied by some 9-10 year olds for not being able to bowl with a legitimate action. I was a throw bowler. That day and place will forever be in my memory. That was the first time I felt insulted and humiliated.

I was never a prodigy and success to me can never come overnight, that is if at all it comes. I have always had to work hard. I was ready to work hard and clear myself off this tag. Through my school years I was a famous bowler but never made it to the school team. I could never even find courage to ask my mother to let me go and play cricket every Sunday morning for 3-4 hours. That would have been enough to take me to the school team. When I came to IIT I had left studies and parental pressure behind me and it was time to give it everything.

I finally got a chance to play for the IIT Delhi team. IIT gave me the opportunity to play cricket as none other could have. It was a dream, and it had come true. My captain in my second year used to tell us that if we stick out the full quota of overs i.e 30, we were unbeatable. He used to keep shouting ‘poore tees over’ from the edge of his seat from the dressing room. We did win many matches and it really struck me how potent that phrase is. The phrase stuck with me and has always given me inspiration. What it means to me is that if you go the full distance and put everything you got, you will never lose.

It is funny how this phrase never really worked in real life. I wanted to do well in cricket, and wanted to prove it to myself that I can play well. I did satisfy myself. It is the passion within me that helped me. Success breeds on commitment but you need passion to let that commitment make any sense. That is the reason we are not good at everything. It is only the things we are really passionate about that we are able to do well through hard work. That’s why I sometimes feel that all through life there will be situations where letting something go will look like an easier option rather than putting an effort and fighting. Long story short, life is not cricket! So it doesn’t matter how much you try sometimes you will just fail.

As I slowly start to accept the fact that cricket is now fading away from me, at least playing it, I still hope it does not. It beats me sometimes how I became a lover of cricket almost finicky some might say (some actually do say, but I take that as a compliment). But I am proud of that and always will be. It’s just sad that I can’t say that with absolute confidence about myself for life other than cricket.

The other day I heard that famous dialogue from the movie ‘Being Cyrus’ – ‘once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in to the same box’. It was a really good one. None much better though than one of my own a couple of days back – ‘I wish life was cricket, I would have done so much better’
P.S. – ‘Ye sab behen di taki beer da kasoor hai’ hehe no no I don’t drink. I do make jokes and sarcastic comments. And ofcourse I hate alcohol, but lets leave it for some other time.

2006-11-06T11:17:00.000-08:00

It’s Just a Game
- Keith Miller (1946-56)

The last week at office was probably the fastest. I was so amazed to realize one morning that it was Thursday already and the next two days were no different. Work is starting to come to a steady state and both of us have made our peace with each other. It’s the life outside the office which is becoming a TV serial to say the least. The drama I have come across over the last couple of weeks or so has been disconcerting and the reason I call it a TV serial is because fortunately I have to only look at it from a distance.

We take many decisions in life, some instantaneous and some with a lot of thought. But are we always sure that we have made the right choice? In fact what hurts one most is to realize later in time that the decision was not a good one. This is one aspect about life that I am very wary of. I am not afraid of making wrong decisions; they are bound to happen. I am afraid of repenting having made bad decisions. More often than not when we look back at time we feel so stupid about having cribbed about that little toy car in the store that mom didn’t get you, or having lost sleep over not having done your homework or having had to a go through an informal channel of politics to be a student representative. And most of all making enemies at various points in life for reasons that have no consequence in our life now. We see at the years gone by and feel stupid about ourselves, laughing at those crazy demands, fights and even ideologies.

Not me. I believe one person can never be able to understand thoroughly what another person feels, and this is how I guess it is meant to be. I believe with every passing second in our lives we become more intelligent, more experienced and posses more knowledge than we had the previous second, and with all this knowledge we become a different person. Our perspective is by all means a function of time if not anything else and it can never be the same. Therefore what we feel now about those issues of yesteryear is understandable, because we have stopped understanding the person we were in that yesteryear. I think this is unfair to that person who made all those choices based on whatever he knew about the world at that time. That person did not have the wisdom we have now.

I think all the animosity, ideologies and grievances of the early times are invaluable for me. Those are the parameters that have molded me as a person at various points in my life and I am proud of it. Whenever I have taken a fight (although these have been rare occasions) with someone it has been on a point of principle. That point may lose its value later in life but at some time it was important and had to be done. I have come to think about all this whenever I have had the chance to look back. My biggest memory would be the tear in my eye and almost choking feeling upon winning a cricket tournament in IIT. The fact that it took five years to win it made me emotional at that time, but I will always respect that emotion because I know at that time it was the biggest achievement for me.
Its all good for Keith Miller (who was an exemplary all-rounder for Australia, for the benefit of those who may not have heard of him) to say “its just a game” because he had been a soldier in the Australian air force in the II WW and had seen blood shed on the battle field, no wonder the cricket field was a garden for him. But that’s not the point, when you are in there it is war, and you have to play it like it is war. I would never love to hear, that cricket is just a game. It is what I am made of. It’s not just a game, it is everything.

2006-10-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

Chokers

Diwali came and went, I never realized that there was festival. Not that I am generally interested in festivals too much, but to see other people enjoy is also a good sight. I was with my parents somewhere in the foothills of Himalaya…actually himachal…sight seeing. The only good part of the trip was when I was driving the car in the beautiful whether, not much else was fascinating. On the night of diwali when the celebration is maximum I went off to bed by 11.30 after reading a couple of chapters from my book.

A few days earlier I was switching channels when I came across a doordarshan documentary on Pt. Bhimsen Joshi. For those who may not have heard his name, he is a classical singer of repute. I don’t remember which gharana he belongs to, but there was a time in my life when I used to get up to his voice. My father is an avid fan of his and would put his songs every morning because he knew that would irritate us and make us leave our beds. It used to work. So when I came across the documentary I heard some songs which reminded me of those innocent times of my childhood. I never liked a word of bhimsen joshi then, I didn’t understand much either. On my way to gurgaon my current residence next morning I started humming that song and I surprisingly I remembered quite a few words. All these images of my childhood and those irritating mornings with me and my sister being scolded by mom and irritated by dad to get up went through my mind. I realized what a wonderful time it was, when someone else was responsible for making you turn up at your work. The feeling overwhelmed me and I could feel the tears at the back of my eyes, to the point that I could not sing the song anymore or else would have started crying. It’s the kind of feeling you get when you hear the national anthem, I have always felt proud and emotional about the national anthem and have fealt it at the back of my eyes always.

Coming back to my book, if you remember I had bought a book called ‘Indian Summers’ by John wright. The former Indian coach has written with great passion which he showed in his stint as the coach. It was amazing to read an account of our country cricket structure and how it is plagued by politics, red tapism, corruption and at times gundagardi. Some of the chapters seemed straight from the heart. For someone like me who has practically lived his teenage trying to answer weird questions on the behalf of the Indian team to my family, friends and others it was nice to hear that there is some light at the end of the tunnel. The book time and again spark desires inside me to start playing full time cricket and represent the country one day. Ofcourse he talks about putting things in perspective a lot of times which helps me put things in to perspective. But when John Wright wrote the story of how Indian players fight their way to the top and how some are left out for no reason brought tears to my eyes. How selection politics has deprived India of a good team is something that ached me, John Wright was a right man in the wrong place perhaps. But he made a difference to the people of India. Now he has made a difference to me personally. If he somehow reads this blog I would like to thank him for being a great coach.

Next up for me is a biography on Rahul Dravid, the man who to me is the manifestation of whatever I believe is the spirit of cricket - passion, devotion, skill, temperament, commitment and above all discipline and humility. A great batsman, and a wonderful asset to the team. I hope that one would not have a sad ending.
Well it’s a little late now, time to go to bed and head to office tomorrow for primary research. Good heavens when will those have a sad ending!

2006-10-02T10:35:00.001-07:00

The Death of ‘English’ Cricket
A usual day at the office today means fear, more fear and some more fear. From some of my earlier posts it is clear that I don’t like using the telephone a lot. Most of my work these days involves calling people in different parts of the world. So in the day we have to call Indian contacts which are few, as the afternoon spills in European contacts are brought in to play. And then comes the evening, calling America and we have our work cut out. All in all my day at work has been hell for the past couple of weeks.

The major getaway I have from this problem is my cricket. These days I have been reading john wrights book and its really a great book for a cricket fan. It has rekindled in me the passion to play cricket. I look forward to finishing my day at the office going back home to my book and some cricket that I can get on TV.

Then there seemed to be another channel that of playing for my office team, a bunch of regular corporate guys spending a day in field. To begin with I thought that everyone gets only this chance at one-off weekends to play cricket and so it made good sense if everyone got a chance to get their hands on the bat or ball. I obviously took to bowling. Having said that I did score a few runs with the bat as well. But it seemed to get better. Our company plays corporate tournament which are not as good as the tournaments I have been playing in IIT. But they are ok and competitive. I put my hand up for the tournament and got selected, or at least I had that impression.

When you talk of a team game its important that you respect each others game and complement the others performance by an equable effort. This is something that was for all my money missing in the team. Team selection would be a tricky thing I knew, Evalueserve is 1200 strong company and its difficult to find a playing 11. That being said when you have an 11 in place they should at least be put to optimum use if winning is important as was being portrayed. I wish this team all the best for whatever they have to encounter in future, but playing cricket with these people defeats the sole purpose of my cricket, winning and winning happily and doing the things they are supposed to be done. I am proud today that I was once the captain of the IIT Delhi team with a bunch of highly motivated individuals I am proud I could add something to their cricket. My company has no scope for that and I must say that I quit.

Deeply lamented by nobody else but myself, the ashes to be taken to my room.
- Ofcourse history books will tell you that ASHES is just the beginning of modern cricket

2006-10-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

2006-09-15T08:13:00.000-07:00

The Middle of the bat

Its been a long time since my birthday, but my parents insisted that i buy a birthday gift. So while hanging out in a near by mall i bought it. Now for those who know me this is a surprising gift. For those who dont, i am not too much into reading books. Yes thats right, i bought not one but two books as my gift. What might seem a little less surprising though is the subject of these books - Cricket.

John Wright's account of his tenure with the Indian team starts with his experience as coach before that. Wright has never been an inspirational figure, which is becuase of his silent attitude, but i rate his contribution nothing less than saurav ganguly's. That is probably apparent from the fact that i felt it was worth spending 450/- on his controversial story 'Indian summers'. His experiences after retiring from test cricket were pretty terrible, and how they inspired him to go back to the game he loves makes we wonder sometimes if i can still go down that road. I havent completed the book as yet, and not started with the other one which is a biography of the greatest indian player ever...Rahul Dravid..

As these thoughts start occupying my mind, there came a moment when i started actually contemplating it. After all my aim is to do something i like, isnt it for everyone? But the sheer impracticalability of the situation gets big on me. Although it is a lost cause, i am still hanging in there, trying to find out the perfect match for my capabilities.

There comes a time in every batsman's innings when he has had enough time to gauge the condition and start making runs. But if he still doesnt do that it makes him edgy and sends the wrong signal in the dressing room. I hope i am not crossing that time before i start to find the middle of the bat.

2006-09-01T11:07:00.000-07:00

One Hundred Thirty Four

I turned 23 last tuesday, in all honesty I have stopped enjoying birthdays for a long time. there was a time when i would look forward to the 29th of August but that feeling has deserted me for some time now. Perhaps that reflects the kind of person I am, sinnical at times and very composed at others. While most people would say that they can relate with this, what gives me my individuality is the fact that I am composed in the most difficult situations and can lose it in what may seem a normal situation to most (ofcourse it doesnt seem normal to me). So in a nut shell what i mean is that on a special occasion as a birthday I act normal. Probably not the best thing to do.

But this birthday was very very enjoyable for some obvious reasons (ofcourse obvious only to those who know me, but then again those who dont know me dont read my posts anyway). It was actually the quietest birthday I had which started with some mild spanking from my room mates and ended at my office desk. Probably the biggest celebration of the day came when I ate a 'dark temptation' all by myself sitting alone in a Barista. Not to mention that there was a cake and a very good one that my company gave me and was eaten up by my colleagues, but that was really not the kind of celebration i was looking for. Since i had reached my office very late that day I had to stay till arnd 12 AM to send out some important mails and complete my work. Its a nice feeling at times to be the last person to leave the office. And Ofcourse my birthday ended with the beginning of my roommates birthday and since i was very tired, this time we had even milder spanking.

The real fun about this whole birthday story though lies in the flashback. Since me and my roommate have back to back birthdays we decided (or rather a jigri friend of ours tricked us in) to throw a party to people in Gurgaon on the 26th. We decided that the party be at our place and then went on to deciding the menu. First we went to McDonald's tasted some burgers and had almost finalised it when we came across Nirula's. I would strongly recommend people to eat subz burger at nirula's...its only Rs 19/- and its awesome. So we finally agreed on this one. Dominos for pizza was a uninanimous choice. Then we ordered a cake and faced a rather embarresing situation where we were telling the vendor to write stuff on the cake for ourselves, that was really funny. Then came the invitations. We prepared an excel sheet with separate columns for guys and girls. We forecasted a whopping 8 girls coming to the party. And then there was chaos, the whole apartment started to look dirty. Its amazing what difference girls coming to our place can make. We got the apartment cleaned by the bai, and I spent around 30 mins cleaning the toilet.

Then the living room was set with dim lights and perfect party ambience and then people started showing up, not just from gurgaon but even from bangalore and other parts of the world. Although the wait was a little long but we finally cut the cake. It did not feel too embarressing as I had imagined before. Probably in that moment you never realize that so many people are actually looking at you and waiting for you to cut the cake you feel a sense of gratitude that they are there to sing a song for you. It was great fun talking to old freinds from college and listening to their stories. Above all it was the satisfaction of not really boring people with our party. I guess everyone enjoyed and had a nice time. After all thats what the party was all about. Although we were not expecting any gifts i didnt know people had realised that already. But no one brings gifts to such parties anyways.

I believe if I have to relate this story to cricket then the biggest birthday treat that i can remember was given by Sachin Tendulkar on his birthday in 1998 at Sharjah. That innings is forever etched into the memories of even those for whom that match was their only cricket experience. On the back of a sensational century in the previous match Sachin played like no one knew how to bowl. For me that would rank as one of the 5 best innings in one day cricket. Maybe not in the top 3 because India lost that match. I wish some day I can treat millions of people like that with the ball :)

2006-08-13T05:53:00.000-07:00

Get Your Eye In

It's now been almost three month for me in service. Somebody who has been reading my blogs regularly (which by the way is a list of very distinguished people) might get a feeling that i have been counting days...hehe no no its not so bad. Corporate exposure has been good, not blinding and not misleading either. One of the reasons for that maybe the kind of company i am in but its been good. Contrary to the image i had had about proffesional life my experience has been good to make a preliminary assesment.

In fact my experience has been pretty good, i have started to come to terms with what i am doing ( i would safely avoid the term 'i like my work' at this stage). What more i have started to develop a liking towards the domain in which i am working. My usual staus of so far so good holds true still. But now i feel that the stage has come when i can make up my mind about a permenant career. I will call this stage as my first trial and error maybe. I think deciding upon a permanent career can only be the product of a well thought out hit and trial strategy. I have decided upon embarking on my first trial so to speak. I would not make this a huge issue, as i would not prefer all that falling apart and then repenting having spent so much time on it.

Being an engineer there is an inherent temptation to do an MBA and write CAT, but i have overcome that alluring temptation for the moment and dont plan to take CAT for sometime, ofcourse one of the reasons for coming to this decision is my modest ability with DI and English when it comes to CAT. But then again what purpose does it serve to do something you are not good at, when there are opportunities (for once) to do things you do like.

They say as you work your way through the first hour of play, the pitch eases out and you get 'in'. I guess even in life it's about battling through the initial tough time and getting a hang of the conditions. There are lots of runs to be had on this pitch of life once you get your eye in. Ofcourse one needs to play all his shots along the ground initially and leave anything that is outside the "off-stump". Once you do that they start bowling at you and it becomes easy to work it around for runs.

2006-07-24T11:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, No, Wait!!!

As it sometimes turns out I am compelled through circumstances to do something that I don’t like, there can be numerous examples for that, chemical engg. being one, but not many would be able to relate to those examples. I have been working with my company for over 2 months now ( a quick calculation tells me today is my 2 month anniversary!) I was relatively happy to begin with but now things are starting to get a bit uneasy.

Telecommunications is a vast field, not one that interests me. But the humungous connectivity that it gives today worldwide is overwhelming, we don’t realize it though. Like the old man says on TV “kya time hai zindagi jeene ka”. I on the other hand don’t like the telephone too much. In fact it would not be wrong to say that I sometimes dislike it. What is funny is that all the important people in my life can be accessed through telephone only. All my family members live in different places and we meet mostly on weekends.

As if that wasn’t enough my company expects me to make phone calls to different parts of the world to do our business. Now had it been a normal call center I would have been ok with it, but I am sure it is not. Still much of our business is done through phone calls and I am weary of it. It also reminds me sometimes of the misery of the credit card boys outside our building always trying to catch a customer and we very sophisticatedly shun them off. Let me divulge a corporate secret, when people say they will divert you to someone who will be in a better position to help you means they are saying don’t call back ever again L bloody hell!

The even funnier part is that in cricket its totally different. I am really good at calling. Of course people who know me off the field wont accept this but I am a good runner between wickets…( hehe blogging should be called bragging from now on). But honestly I believe I am good runner and for that you need good calling. I think at the end of the day it’s about doing what you like and not liking what you do. So while my job is starting to poke me a little. I am staying putt for the moment till I know what I would like to do.

2006-07-16T01:48:00.001-07:00

Drinks!

As days go by my blog is slowly becoming an interface for people to know about me, it is with great pleasure that I write my blogs. Its always good to know that people care.

It’s been almost two months now that I have been working in my first job, and its so far so good. I generally like doing work. I never liked studying. I was probably afraid of objective assessment of whatever I do. From objective assessment I mean marks, grades and anything that would ascertain a difference of performance very clearly. I have never had the love for marks or grades. But it’s a part of life and you need to deal with it no matter how academically so. This is how it works out in a job. There are no marks no grades. You just get the job done. That’s good for me.

My office hours a pretty flexible and I make full use of them. I reach my office anytime between 10 an 11 and then its around 10 hrs from that point on. Since my joining day there has really never been a day when I have not had any work at all. There were a couple of days when I did not have anything real but I was doing my training so I guess that counts. So typically from the time I come to office till about lunch I don’t realize how time passes. I do my work do some brunching and it’s already 1. Then we have lunch at around 2 which finishes by 3 :P. this is the time every office guy has to learn to handle. It is the biggest test of them all. You just can help thinking of sleeping. You crave for your sleep and its not there. This is the part of the day which is very slow and tiring. Its hard to work, its hard to do anything. I don’t smoke, so I resort to coffee and tea. Atleast 7-8 cups everyday. Apart from that some cold drink and sometimes juice. So somehow I manage to scratch around and get to 5 and the day starts picking speed again. There is rejuvenation of sorts and suddenly I can concentrate much better. As its almost 6 lots of people are starting to leave. But for me the real story is just beginning. 6-8 is my time of highest productivity. I only work during this time or a n odd visit to the gym. And if I have to stay any longer than 8 then it’s party. I really like to work when there aren’t too many people in the office. It feels like doing something extra. And reaaly you don’t have anybody to chat around with and only the senior people are left so its serious work. Ofcourse it could all change tomorrow if I don’t like my work, but as of now it feels good to be doing something.

The end of the day is also pretty good. A long phone chat :D, and then talking to my room mates, about life…if you know what I mean ;). Life is good, but then again so far so good.

2006-07-09T03:01:00.000-07:00

Rest Day

In this corporate age jobs are of three types, there are ones where time is non existent and you always have your backs to the wall. Then there are jobs where you have loads of time, quite like a government job in an Indian context. And there is Evalueserve, which really asks you to work but the onus is never on you. Now that the company is growing there is work for everybody, but no one is pressed for time. It’s a warm working environment something no one can complain about.
But five days a week can be a little hard at times and you can always take a break isn’t it? What I am talking about is only my second leave in just under two months of this job. I woke up one fine morning looking all sleepy from the late night football match, which by the way I never intended to watch as my favorite team is out already. England that is! Yep I am Beckham fan and an ex Man U fan. Anyhow so I woke up with the pain of getting ready for office facing me, which by the way I relish :D. And there comes the knock out punch my roommate calls a leave…”yaar chhutti maarte hain aaj”. It reminded me then that I have some pending work in my college IIT Delhi. So it was decided then and there that the household chores and my work would be completed in this leave. So we got ready and left for IIT. Did my little bit there, basically collecting my transcripts and provisional degree, which says a funny thing “master of technology” .
And then comes the best part of the day, I played cricket at the nets. It’s the best part of any day actually. Having a ball in my hand gives me goose bumps hehe. And while all this is pretty normal for me, I actually bowled a bouncer to a 6 feet and something guy. It was a beauty. Cricket can always put me in a good mood. Infact it can make me recover from a bad mood. Actually that’s what any sport does I believe. It teaches you to fight the tough time and look for an opportunity to break through. I remember my favorite line to say while on the field was ‘ common yaar ek wicket ki baat hai’ . that’s what sports bring to the character of a person. Having played cricket that day made me believe that there is still some cricket left in me (this by the way sounds like a typical retiring cricketer :P). The rest day had been put to perfect use. You might have heard of six day test matches in the earlier times. They were existent even till the early 90’s the only difference was that one of those 6 days would be called a rest day and there would be no play that day. Its funny how life changes phase, from playing cricket 24x7 I am now down to looking for a rest day to play cricket. That’s how it goes I guess….

2006-06-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

Power Play

its been a while since i have posted anything, and i was pleasantly surprised to know thata fw people were actually checking my blog to see if there was something new, i hope they have some good fun reading this.

so as it turns out my first job (i just passed out of college and am working with a KPO) isnt a big deal in terms of the quality of work. that always makes me wonder what is quality work but that question aside for teh moment. my profile requires seaarching online databases and providing company profiles for a client and then analysing how relevant the company profiled is for the client. while all this sounds not to bad, in simpler words my work involves three simple steps, ctrl c ctrl v and hit the search button on a certain search engine known by the name google.com.

while the work obviously doesnt end here, it by no means does justice to the Btech and Mtech degrees i have from one of the most reverred institutes in india. not to mention my late splash at my GPA...and why not to mention that i scored 9.5 on 10 in my last semester....worth it eh? but the best part in that was that it gave me no sense of accomplishment or success, therefore success still means to me doing what i do best.

coming back to my work, being a 5 point someone in my college life, it is not expected that i would turn in good performance in my job as well. i never believed it but that is sadly the pereption. infact it was one of the questions aked to me in my interview that do five pointer lack sincerity? i have been working on a project as soon as i joined my company. this project has been goign on for close to six months now, i have given u a brief insight of what my work is. so it is clear to see that its not a tough job, not for now anyhow. for the last week i was adjudged the best performer of the week on the project. great na! now although that doenst mean too much in real terms but it is a gesture made by the company to say that i am not below average and i will take that for the moment. You know thats what cricket is all about these days ,when the field is up you take your chances and make a lot of runs. i am accumulating a lot of runs, and waiting to see what happens when the field spreads out.

2006-05-29T07:48:00.000-07:00

Alright Gentlemen, Play...............!

And as always i started with a full toss. my first week at office was a mixed one. I was pretty excited and actually waiting for this day becuase i know that this is what i am going to do for the rest of my life, i mean a job. i believe i am cut for it and i am good at it. i cant handle the tension of money and thats why i can never venture into business.

but for the moment the focus is on my first job at Evalueserve a Knowledge Process Outsourcing company, confused by many for a BPO, but it doesnt hurt at all becuase when i got into IIT there were remarks by people that i shud have better taken admission to an 'ITI' close home :P. anyways my job then, the office is lovely, its a nice place to work with lots of people around and surprisingly very small noise. not that everyone is upto there work all the time, but there is something that gives it a very officie touch. there is a dress code for everyone which i thi nk is necessary to an extent becuase otherwise people wear just about anything to office.

the office feels like school to me actually, with sooo many women and actually women in your team to whom you have to talk to, everyone has been really nice and one of the things that makes me feel its like school is that i can work with and talk to girls in a very normal way without the pre concieved notions of hitting on or anything. but apart from this the work culture is such, a lot of people take office cabs to work, they bring their food from home, hehe and eat it before lunch hours :P, but all in all it is a great experience.

coming to the kind of work, well to say the least its abysmal, and actually gives me some sense of discomfort doing such a low IQ job, although i am made to believe that the project i am currently working on is the most boring of them all and things will get better, but till then the work is not good all the same. but for starters i am happy that i dont have a too hard an assigment and i can easily get the feel of things to come. but my first work or as they call it 'deliverable' was very poor, my colleague had to tell me evrything once again to make me understand that this is no under grad report that i can use cut paste, although the work is essentially the same but we have to use hands and the keyboard and try to write most things from our selves. i was pretty embarresed for having done this, while my colleague was very understanding of the fact that its my first time.

the week ended not very well with my scooter breaking down onmy way to work, and even through the day things were'nt quite coming off as i would have liked, but still this is just the first over of the first spell, there is plenty drama left in the game. All one needs to tell himself at this stage is....sabaas sabaaas boys! chalo sabaas!

2006-05-21T05:33:00.000-07:00

On Drive

Raah pe rehte hain, yaadon pe basar karte hain
Khush raho ehle watan hum to safar kartein hain

For the past one year now my father has been living in a small place in himachal Pradesh. My mother is staying at home in Delhi, my sister got married and moved out and I have been living in a hostel for the last 5 years in Delhi. Long story short we have all disassembled for a family. I meet my father only on weekends and my sister even more rarely. I go home 4 days a week and that too for a very small time as I have to get back to college next morning. Life has been difficult or at least uneasy. But I try my best to make the most of what life gives and I guess that’s the essence of life more or less. As a result of me going back and forth from my college to my home, which are at a distance of 27 kms and the Delhi traffic, I have been doing a lot of driving. My father bought a new car last august our first owned car. Since he is away I drive it mostly.

I spend on an average around 2.5 hours in the car and this is only when I am driving from one place to the other once a day, there are times when I leave for college in the morning and get back home in the evening. But the good thing is that I love driving. Although its even better if it is with someone (:P) but even when I am alone in my car I love to just keep driving. The Delhi traffic gives you quite a stroke at times, but it’s good to be on the road. It’s like a challenge to beat the previous times of your drive. Basically driving is very relaxing for the mind, not so much for the body.

My car also has a music system for which I am very very thankful to my dad who had the foresight to put in a cd player and not an old fashioned cassette player. I can play almost any song I like to now. And with the gift of a bearable voice I can please my self by singing with the song and believing that I actually sound like sonu nigam :P.

It’s really about the time that you give yourself is what makes me like driving, I guess it’s important for everyone to give themselves time all by themselves. And if you can do that simultaneously with some other thing like driving home it becomes that much more fruitful.

Last night I had probably my best experience driving. It was raining like cats and dogs and there was wind blowing. It was just so good to see in the month of may in delhi. And the rain got intense as much as to decrease visibility to almost zero. But I loved it. I was driving pretty slowly but frankly I had no other option because I couldn’t see anything. And then I did something which I regretted the rest of the while to home. I stopped at a place near AIIMS because I couldn’t see anything. I felt sad later that I shouldn’t have stopped and in fact just wiped the wind screen from inside and I would have seen better. Plus you never get a chance like this to drive in Delhi as all the two wheelers were of the road taking refuge under flyover and bus stops. We were all by ourselves, by we I mean cars (who would have thought I would say something like this :P). I think once in a while you should take chances and prove to yourself that you have not got stuck. And that if there is ever a dire situation, you can measure up to it. I believe you need it.

2006-05-16T02:13:00.000-07:00

The Good length

i have been one person who has always tried to keep my distance from strangers, more so girls. but it basically with everyone. i generally feel very wierd to meet someone i know but not as much as to say, "kya chal raha hai be". i am in fact comfortable talkin to strangers because there you know that you can just be extra nice and they wont judge you at all. but somehow with people you know you are always scared as to how they would react to almost each and every gesture of yours. i would call myself largely introvert as i take time to become informal with someone, but once i am past that stage i am a pain to stay with at times. i can say that i go to extreme extents so as to entertain ppl with my jokes, albeit at the expense of some of my friends feelings. it is supposed to be all in good humor though.

but in life it is generally very difficult to pick your distances from people, sometimes being shy or cautous about opening up to someone can be seen as a snobish attitude, while at times being too friendly can be percieved as bad as flirting. (well this is to say that i dont like the idea of flirting), that is probably why i have kept my distance from most girls i have come across in my school and college. i guess its a kind of defense mechanism where i tend not to take a risk of getting into a converstaion with a female to prevent any ideas that the girl might have that i am interested in her or something. but as i said earlier it happens with guys too. i am very bad with the 'Hi' smile, where you just pass by someone you know and say hi and just give him a nod. i get confused as to whether i should keep looking at him or her till they look atnme and then i say hi, or i try to make it subtle and see if we coincidently look at each other together so that it becomes easy to say hi. or better still i tell myself to shut this non sense look at the beautiful road around your feet and let the other person pass. i also do the reading my sms thing when i am trying to avoid eye contacts. but as i said, sometimes this attitude can be seen as snooty and arrogant, and that is not really what i want ppl to think of me, me being such a polite and humble person :P.

as happens often you just got to find the right length to bowl to any batsman to keep him quiet, you pitch it up and he will drive you, you bang it in short and he will go back and pull you. ofcousre to know someone reaaly well you have to get them out if it were. and to get them out you just have to pitch it up and hope that it swings, so just make sure that you the ball is moving and go for it. if there is no hope of getting any swing on the other hand, just bowl that good length and stop the runs and wait for the batsmen to make a mistake, thats the best you can do.