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Monday, March 20, 2006 

Square Cut

honestly the point of writing blogs for me is really to have people read them, i really don't intend it as a diary entry, the problem is that i don't know how people will read it. i have tried putting my blog address as my yahoo messenger status, but i dont think that has made a difference. Anyways i also like writing what i do and sso here i put something again. third year in IIT was forgettable for many reasons, nothing and almost nothing went well for me personally as well as for people i was with. be it my cricket team both the IIT and the karakoram teams which lost all their matches in their respective tournaments, be it elections and poltu where i personally had a very bad time aur be it the time at the end of the session when i took up my industrial training in the beautiful wilderness of Roha in maharashtra. sometimes i feel like going back their to check if such a place actualy existed or was it just a big dream. i made a great bonding with all my friends in this year though and that still stands to be the most important thing to take from that year. i realised then that i have a huge bunch of people around me who would care to listen to mu stupid jokes and laugh on them, but square cut is about what made me call myself collectively with my friends...'losers'. the term losers gives you an instant sense of satisfaction that you cant be worse so whatever you do you will improve and that was more or less the motto. when nothing seems to be going right you assume at times that nothing in future will. the first in the series was my inter iit. I was then the vice captain of the iit team and had been very happy about it. we went to mumbai for that years inter iit and it just never went our way, i had a bad inter iit, not that i have had great figures in inter iit's but this one was specially bad. at other times i have bowled tightly and taken early wickets but thic was really bad. nothing clicked and we got kicked out losing all our league matches. and then the run continued in the inter hostel as we lost our league matches there as well. cricket seemed like slipping away from me and motivating myself for another year looked difficult. then came poltu, after some bad experiences the previous year i was very cautious in making my judgements this time. i dont know whether i made a good decision or not, but what i was happy about was that i did what i always thought i should do and i would thank sindhu sameer for making me realise that, it a long story of personal relations i will delve into some time later, but i always thought that my decision should not be affected by the heat of the moment, i was happy that it wasnt'. then came the issue of contesting election for gsec, again we were sitting in a losing alliance and most of it was clear, i was asked to contest for the BSW gsec at the very last moment, i remember using words like over my dead body or something but i did it and that will always remain one of my biggest failures as an individual. thankfully i lost the election and did not have to carry the burden. infact some might say i came out as a shaheed fighting a lost battle:P...but thats not funny also. then came the big one...Unichem laborartories at Roha in maharshtra the place where i was supposed to do my training. i had not felt the magnanimity of the situation till the day i landed in roha, it all seemed like a fun trip to a far plave with nice scenaries and landscapes. well there was surely no dearth of that it still remains to be the most beautiful place i have ever been ahead of nainital, dharamshala and only a few others i have been to. but lonliness is quite a pain. i realised there how important everyone is in my life, my father my mother even my sister with whom i used fight a lot, occasionaly but very crudely. my friends and most of all my cricket. the trip started with me accompanying shivek to the mumbai office of the company where we found out that we'd be getting a stipend of Rs2500 which was great since we came expecting nothing. but as we went to roha i had lost all contact with the modern world it seemed. thankfully since the place was in maharshtra food was not a problem for me as much as it was to shivek initially. ifact the food in the company was too good and i would still love to eat in that mess sometime. but when we went to the office it was lonely, there was no one to guide me no body to talk to, and most of all no work. i had to invent work, i used to take a trip to all the different plants and try to follow the process. that was over in the first week, what about the remaining 2 months:((. o had absolutely nothing to do, there was only one guy my boss( i am not sure if he was my boss but i used to sit in his office) he was very nice man and i will always remember him. he was hard working and very dedicated and always tried to make me feel at home. i used to sneak into his room to check my mail and chat with friends and when he used to come back he would sit quietly on the other chair till i was done. towards the end of my training he also gave me some intersting things to do which i could finally show in my presentation. roha was a very small place with no internet at all. it didn't even have classic milds. i started with gold flake there:P. and since i was alone for most part of the day i smoked a lot at that time. another parameter that would make you understand the lonliness of the place was the fact that i read a complete novel in roha something i still havent done in my life. 18th july was the date that kept ringing inmy mind through out, and the day came and i was free. so happy i was that day that it can be one of the 5 happiest moments of my life. it was like coming out of a prison. the year was filled with such instances which made me believe that it was not possible that something would go my way, it was one of those times, the important lesson that year told me and specially roha was that nothing is too big. if you have a problem face it and it will go, time heels everything your effort has to be your best the rest will take care of itself and if it doesn't then try again. the day i came out of roha i told myself that now i can do anything patience is one of my assests now i believe. hard work maybe not so much hehe:P

I am not sure whether this is the reason or not, but seems to me so here I go: The reason people find someone's blog intersting is when they can relate to it;like the national team playing cricket or some interesting anecdote happening, or even the personal experiences if they can make the reader laugh and cry as if it were their own. now most of the stuff you have been talking about is too personal,sort of a private diary.
The training part of the story was nice, I can related with the loneliness :), reminded me of the loneliness of Papillon!(spent 3-4 years in solitary confinement)

The best thing that makes a blog click is controversy:). Ask me and I will tell ypu. And we do need to have a conversation about why should you thank Sindhu Sameer. I thought me and Mojo were the ones more responsible for it, and we dont find a mention somewhere.
And well, your blog is doing fine, people read it. Its just that they might not comment because if they dont know you too well its something that wont make much sense to them. Again, writing about universal sentiments like love, politics, and anything controversial might help. OR you can try inducing your Chandler- types humour here, but again maybe that'll be too personal.

hey thanks behind closed doors for that comment, i think you are right that blog was too personal and that wont make for an intersting reading...point noted. but i hope those who know me would have liked it somewhat, actually i didn't consider the possibilty of someone not knowing me reading it. anyways thanks.

aur zubin you and mojo definitely helped me discuss all those things at length and i will always be thankful to you and andy also. but there was a small incident where i realised what i was doing is not what i want that was triggered by samy.

I was reading one of your articles, which was published in last to last years’ 24 Karat, about some two-weeks before, when I was traveling to my home, it described the happenings of a cricket match, and interestingly, the last line said, “to become The BSA G.Sec., one needs to take(or loose…. I don’t exactly remember it) all six wickets in a single over”, though I was couldn’t wholly figure out the truth behind the statement, I was astonished and struck on the coincidence it was.
And here is one more piece from the same writer, with the same ‘tadka’ of cricket in words.
The ethics and art of blogging are unique and wonderful in itself, for it encompasses everything, from being a collection of fiction pieces to a personal diary.. it can be a newspaper column or even a unrestrained&uncontrolled-publication-space. But since you have already cleared out that you always have the reader in mind, I hope, it has to be designed for the comfort and amusement of the reader, and for that matter, I agree with behind closed doors (but personally, since I feel that writing blog is a freedom from inhibitions, it’s a vent to frustration/emotions, and hence it must serve only one purpose, it must soothe/satisfy you)
Regarding your intern, I envy you, for I myself would like to have the kind of intern you had.
Regarding failures and bad times, the more we crave for success, the more we become vulnerable to failures, as our aspirations always reassert themselves, our goals grow increasingly riskier and we tend to overlook the other side of the story, and this is particularly the case with poltu.

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