ASHES

Alright Gentlemen, Play...............!

And as always i started with a full toss. my first week at office was a mixed one. I was pretty excited and actually waiting for this day becuase i know that this is what i am going to do for the rest of my life, i mean a job. i believe i am cut for it and i am good at it. i cant handle the tension of money and thats why i can never venture into business.

but for the moment the focus is on my first job at Evalueserve a Knowledge Process Outsourcing company, confused by many for a BPO, but it doesnt hurt at all becuase when i got into IIT there were remarks by people that i shud have better taken admission to an 'ITI' close home :P. anyways my job then, the office is lovely, its a nice place to work with lots of people around and surprisingly very small noise. not that everyone is upto there work all the time, but there is something that gives it a very officie touch. there is a dress code for everyone which i thi nk is necessary to an extent becuase otherwise people wear just about anything to office.

the office feels like school to me actually, with sooo many women and actually women in your team to whom you have to talk to, everyone has been really nice and one of the things that makes me feel its like school is that i can work with and talk to girls in a very normal way without the pre concieved notions of hitting on or anything. but apart from this the work culture is such, a lot of people take office cabs to work, they bring their food from home, hehe and eat it before lunch hours :P, but all in all it is a great experience.

coming to the kind of work, well to say the least its abysmal, and actually gives me some sense of discomfort doing such a low IQ job, although i am made to believe that the project i am currently working on is the most boring of them all and things will get better, but till then the work is not good all the same. but for starters i am happy that i dont have a too hard an assigment and i can easily get the feel of things to come. but my first work or as they call it 'deliverable' was very poor, my colleague had to tell me evrything once again to make me understand that this is no under grad report that i can use cut paste, although the work is essentially the same but we have to use hands and the keyboard and try to write most things from our selves. i was pretty embarresed for having done this, while my colleague was very understanding of the fact that its my first time.

the week ended not very well with my scooter breaking down onmy way to work, and even through the day things were'nt quite coming off as i would have liked, but still this is just the first over of the first spell, there is plenty drama left in the game. All one needs to tell himself at this stage is....sabaas sabaaas boys! chalo sabaas!

On Drive

Raah pe rehte hain, yaadon pe basar karte hain
Khush raho ehle watan hum to safar kartein hain

For the past one year now my father has been living in a small place in himachal Pradesh. My mother is staying at home in Delhi, my sister got married and moved out and I have been living in a hostel for the last 5 years in Delhi. Long story short we have all disassembled for a family. I meet my father only on weekends and my sister even more rarely. I go home 4 days a week and that too for a very small time as I have to get back to college next morning. Life has been difficult or at least uneasy. But I try my best to make the most of what life gives and I guess that’s the essence of life more or less. As a result of me going back and forth from my college to my home, which are at a distance of 27 kms and the Delhi traffic, I have been doing a lot of driving. My father bought a new car last august our first owned car. Since he is away I drive it mostly.

I spend on an average around 2.5 hours in the car and this is only when I am driving from one place to the other once a day, there are times when I leave for college in the morning and get back home in the evening. But the good thing is that I love driving. Although its even better if it is with someone (:P) but even when I am alone in my car I love to just keep driving. The Delhi traffic gives you quite a stroke at times, but it’s good to be on the road. It’s like a challenge to beat the previous times of your drive. Basically driving is very relaxing for the mind, not so much for the body.

My car also has a music system for which I am very very thankful to my dad who had the foresight to put in a cd player and not an old fashioned cassette player. I can play almost any song I like to now. And with the gift of a bearable voice I can please my self by singing with the song and believing that I actually sound like sonu nigam :P.

It’s really about the time that you give yourself is what makes me like driving, I guess it’s important for everyone to give themselves time all by themselves. And if you can do that simultaneously with some other thing like driving home it becomes that much more fruitful.

Last night I had probably my best experience driving. It was raining like cats and dogs and there was wind blowing. It was just so good to see in the month of may in delhi. And the rain got intense as much as to decrease visibility to almost zero. But I loved it. I was driving pretty slowly but frankly I had no other option because I couldn’t see anything. And then I did something which I regretted the rest of the while to home. I stopped at a place near AIIMS because I couldn’t see anything. I felt sad later that I shouldn’t have stopped and in fact just wiped the wind screen from inside and I would have seen better. Plus you never get a chance like this to drive in Delhi as all the two wheelers were of the road taking refuge under flyover and bus stops. We were all by ourselves, by we I mean cars (who would have thought I would say something like this :P). I think once in a while you should take chances and prove to yourself that you have not got stuck. And that if there is ever a dire situation, you can measure up to it. I believe you need it.

The Good length

i have been one person who has always tried to keep my distance from strangers, more so girls. but it basically with everyone. i generally feel very wierd to meet someone i know but not as much as to say, "kya chal raha hai be". i am in fact comfortable talkin to strangers because there you know that you can just be extra nice and they wont judge you at all. but somehow with people you know you are always scared as to how they would react to almost each and every gesture of yours. i would call myself largely introvert as i take time to become informal with someone, but once i am past that stage i am a pain to stay with at times. i can say that i go to extreme extents so as to entertain ppl with my jokes, albeit at the expense of some of my friends feelings. it is supposed to be all in good humor though.

but in life it is generally very difficult to pick your distances from people, sometimes being shy or cautous about opening up to someone can be seen as a snobish attitude, while at times being too friendly can be percieved as bad as flirting. (well this is to say that i dont like the idea of flirting), that is probably why i have kept my distance from most girls i have come across in my school and college. i guess its a kind of defense mechanism where i tend not to take a risk of getting into a converstaion with a female to prevent any ideas that the girl might have that i am interested in her or something. but as i said earlier it happens with guys too. i am very bad with the 'Hi' smile, where you just pass by someone you know and say hi and just give him a nod. i get confused as to whether i should keep looking at him or her till they look atnme and then i say hi, or i try to make it subtle and see if we coincidently look at each other together so that it becomes easy to say hi. or better still i tell myself to shut this non sense look at the beautiful road around your feet and let the other person pass. i also do the reading my sms thing when i am trying to avoid eye contacts. but as i said, sometimes this attitude can be seen as snooty and arrogant, and that is not really what i want ppl to think of me, me being such a polite and humble person :P.

as happens often you just got to find the right length to bowl to any batsman to keep him quiet, you pitch it up and he will drive you, you bang it in short and he will go back and pull you. ofcousre to know someone reaaly well you have to get them out if it were. and to get them out you just have to pitch it up and hope that it swings, so just make sure that you the ball is moving and go for it. if there is no hope of getting any swing on the other hand, just bowl that good length and stop the runs and wait for the batsmen to make a mistake, thats the best you can do.

The Declaration!

I am 22 years old i am student in my fifth year in IIT Delhi, and if you have read any of my previous posts you would know that i am a cricket fan. i have been lucky to have been in IIT as i could play all the cricket i could have asked to play in college life. and moreover i also had the honor to lead the institute team this year. it is not a recognised level of cricket that we play but i have cherished every moment of it. the only thing i feel i missed was to play the longer version of the game rather than limited overs cricket.

The point is that i am stuck in my last month at IIT, i had virtually no courses this semester, and a project, whuch i as doing atleast to the minimum satisfacion of my guide. but as this semester draws to a close, it feels like a test match is over, spanning over five years, with each year the wicket playing some mew surprises and where the early part of each year was a bowling paradise, but as the year rolled on it became easier for the batsmen. and as it stands to end i have no doubt in my mind that its a drawn match. no result has been achieved from this outing of mine. the result was to be a career path of my choice and interest, but that sadly hasnt been achieved with 5 years in IIT. I would not be the one though to blame the curator for making a lifeless pitch and for the fate of the match. i take this result to be manueverd by myself so as to have maximum fun at this place, and i did achieve that. but it does go down as a failure because in life there is no draw, you have to win or lose, eventually its a do or die and my forte awaits me somewhere as i get ready to embark upon that journey. this is just a temporary break, i have to still win another test match and maybe many more to come. i do envy the people who won in this match, as in those who achieved what was best for them, but i still dont know where i am headed.

Sitting in this place wondering about the future gives me a stinking feeling of emptiness, i feel like getting on with the new life that i have ahead of me rather than aching my nervous muscles over thinking it out. as per ICC's new rules also, a 'dead' match can be called concluded after 75 overs on the final day, or 1 hour before the close of play on the final day. i feel like such a facility should be available to me with my 'dead' degree as well. as i sit in my room everyday, doing nothing, i just feel like somebody would wave to me fromt he dressing room and say..."come on boys, thats enough" and declare this innings of mine.