ASHES

So let’s pick up from where I left last time. To summarize – lappy not working, GMAT screwed, fan in room not working and monetary crisis. My story was going from bad to worse. I was actually amused at the kind of stuff that was happening to me. The real blow came about a week ago.

I had been losing interest in most things and the biggest of them all was work. I was spending a large amount of my time in office in playing stickcricket (a really nice time pass by the way for all those who could never hit boundaries :P). I was not paying too much attention I suppose and maybe I stopped caring about my work a little. That day my manager confronted me one on one, politely though, and pointed out so many mistakes in my work and more unfortunatey the inconsistency in my approach to work. He was right by all means. I usually accept my mistake and go on, but that day I felt like I am not cut out to make it big you know. Lots of people believe that I have potential, but I guess they are wrong.

That night I talked to a couple of friends and inquired how they were doing. None of them sounded in as bad a shape as I was, but they still had their problems. That when it occurred to me that everyone might in fact be going through the same thing. Maybe at different points of time in life, and I realised that I was taking myself way to seriously. I told myself to get over myself.

It didn’t work though and I was still feeling low. But just as I was about to give in there was finally some good news. My laptop repairer told me that I will have to spend only 3000 to repair it albeit temporarily. I realised that an electrician shop is available at a 100m distance from my place. Ofcourse GMAT scores could not be revised, but then you can’t have everything life right?

All this was probably enough for me to forget that the time before was pretty bad. Although the time now was not really celebration like either. I had a match to play last Sunday. I woke up at 5 in the morning to be ready and on the ground on time. I reached my place in gurgaon and locked my car keys inside. The match was anyway cancelled as it was raining. So I basically had a 100km drive.

But today things really started to look up. I mean not that I cracked anything. We had a feedback from our clients and he was not satisfied. You would think that its another reason to go down the sad lane. But I didn’t. I was actually pretty happy as I generally am when I am criticised. Me and my team had a great laugh about it, but it felt as I was back. Back to that lovely place where I can laugh off a failure, and rest assured when I am in that place success also comes by to visit.

In the last month or so I have only been planning about what I am going to do the next day. I was really not in the mood to plan something as I thought that if the planning goes in the drain as a lot of stuff has been going lately, it will bother me even more. But now I guess I can come out of that shell and start to plan in to the future. I guess the important thing to learn at the end of all of this is that it is not the end of this. Such torrid times will come and go, you just have to get over yourself and look ahead.