ASHES

Vakratund mahakaya, suryakoti samaprabha, nirvighnam kurmedevo sarvkaryeshu sarvada

For a long time now I have been thinking of writing a post on a caricature. I think the first of such attempts has to be one person that I have inherited much of what I am today from. My grandfather Ganpati Dhamdhere or as we all called him Anna.

I am the youngest amongst all the cousins, so you would think that I would have been my grandfather’s favourite. But as anna had three sons, he used to spend his time separately with the three sons and least of it with us as we lived in Delhi and he liked to stay in his home at Jhansi. When my father moved out of his parental house he went to faridabad and later shifted to Bombay when I was born. We lived in this small place called koliwada which is apparently famous for bhaigiri. Whenever I used to see anna he used to call me ‘koliwade ka dada’ and never understood what that meant. But I took it as a compliment.

Anna was a quiet gentlemanly character, who did not have a big say in the family even though he was the eldest son. His father was a dominating influence till he was alive and he held full control of the family even the bringing up of anna’s sons (my father and uncles). But anna never retaliated and played along. His influence on my father was probably as much as my great grandfather or maybe less from the surface. But his tacit presence in my father and then in me have made both us good individuals. His calm and composed behaviour is something people complement me for a lot.

In his last days he started losing a lot of his senses, but the one thing he didn’t lose was sensibility. He knew that he was not in a good shape and would let you take decisions for him so that you could feel good. He praised everyone for almost everything. I remember in 1997 when Atal Behari Vajpaye came into power he was very very excited. Vajpayee was a one time mate of anna’s. But till then he had lost a lot of his hearing, sight and ability to comprehend. I made arrangements for him so that he could sit in front of the tv and watch the oath taking ceremony. But the long rituals of the ceremony were too much to bear for the old man and he got tired and asked me to put him to bed again as he couldn’t sit anymore. I was happy that I could do something for him. Can never forget that moment, it still fills me with a feeling as if I won the world cup.

Towards the very end anna was bed ridden for almost 4-5 months. He was in a very bad condition and there were no signs of progress. He could barely recognize us, atleast the grandsons. I can’t even imagine how my father would have felt when he would not have recognized my father. As a 14 year old I could not stand to see a man is such a condition. Nobody could, and everyone knew that it was about time, but the amount of pain he was going through was frightening. But even then, the last time I talked to him he hisked in sound that meant I don’t know what you are talking about but god bless you. In December 1997, my father took us to vaishno devi for the first time. In January 1998 anna passed away.

If my father went there to make a wish, I think god might just have answered it. A man who never troubled anybody should not have had to go through such painful final moments. Anna will always remind me that humility and grace is the way of life. He was a true number 11 (hard working and committed) like I am and I am proud of it.

Today I feel bad about how little I could do for him. But the real difficult part is to realise that its all in the past and I have to look forward and try and learn from him to become a better person.