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Saturday, February 03, 2007 

Head Held High

It’s been a long time since I have written something in this space. Work has been ususal to say the least. Although there was some excitement as one of my clients expressed satisfaction over my work. However, largely the last couple of weeks or so I have had the feeling that my company might just relieve me. No worries, I just try to be ready for the worst.

It’s been a long time since I last played some cricket as well, though watching it has been the in thing. With India doing some things right it was a great experience getting back to reading newspapers in the morning. Its really a special to see happy faces of your team in the morning newspaper. It sets up my day quite nicely. While in another part of the world my other team had a mixed time. My hostel cricket team at IIT did well to win both its league matches. It was as always a happy site. While I tried to become an unbiased spectator, inside me there was fueling desire to cheer my team. I eventually did it after we won a close game. But the sad part was to lose the semi final. I had thought of not being too bothered by the result of this game. But when I can turn red when India loses, its difficult to control the disappointment when your team loses at IIT. A team you represented for five years. A team that I virtually owned. One thing that I did do successfully was to say too much to the team. I hope I was successful at that. I have always believed that the men in the middle should make the decisions. I said enough when I was in control and never liked somebody intruding irrespective of who he was. I hope I will never do that myself.

The team fought with good spirit and at the end of the day you can’t ask for more. But its difficult to satisfy yourself with that. This is the cruel part of sports, when you come off the field you can not hang your head in shame. Pride is your only prize of the match. But it comes at a great cost. You can tell yourself 1000 funda’s in life but when you lose that head of yours starts to weigh so much that it’s just impossible to keep it up. The eyes staring at you and the hands coming to you in consolation are the final nail in the coffin called defeat.

I still think one should keep his head high. There is absolutely nothing to be gained from it. All it does is that it doesn’t give that bit extra to your opponent. That’s why I have always believed in admitting a mistake to the fullest. You may not stand to gain from it, but it gives you a better chance of preventing any further ‘losses’.

Like most iitians I hated chemistry, and I’ll always remember one incident when my chemistry teacher in class 12th scolded me by saying – ‘tumhe kuch bhi nahi aata, kyun shreyas aajkal chemistry nahi padhte na?’ to which I replied very politely – ‘haan mam nahi padhta’. My teacher just bursted in to laughter saying that I had left her with nothing to say beyond this. Five years later I am a master in chemical engineering and working in business research in the energy (oil & gas) sector.

Disclaimer: the last two sentences are mutually independent. However true…and how!

nice to have u back .. finally :)

ya i am babck baby

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